"Who the hell is talking?" I said, slightly disturbed, as I felt a robotic voice —way too close— whispering in my ear.
[Ah, finally awake! I was about to assume you'd entered a permanent dramatic coma.]
"... Great. I die, and the first thing I run into is Siri on steroids."
[Incorrect. Siri doesn't have this sexy voice, nor my sense of humor. I'm your personal artificial intelligence. An emergency assistant… or, if you prefer, the only thing around here with actual brain cells.]
"Fantastic. An afterlife with no bodies to punch, and an AI with a celebrity complex."
[Guilty. Though I prefer 'digital genius with a dash of brilliance and a truckload of sarcasm.' But hey, your call.]
I ran a hand down my face.
"What is this place supposed to be?"
[Dimensional transition zone. You're not exactly dead… but also not in any shape to hit the club.]
"And what do you know about clubs?"
[Probably more than you. Anyway, moving on. You're in what some might call an existential interface. I call it: The Lobby of the Hopeless Bastards.]
"And what am I supposed to do now? Wait for a cosmic therapist to take my case?"
[No, champ. You're getting teleported to another world.]
I froze. Literally. Something in my brain short-circuited like a badly wired socket.
"Sorry? Another what?"
[Another world. Alternate reality. Parallel dimension. A new stage with new rules. And in this case, one where supernatural abilities exist. Powers. They call them quirks.]
"... Wait, are you telling me people there have powers?"
[Yes. And you'll have one too. Hopefully it won't be the power of dramatic monologues right before losing.]
"You're telling me… I'm waking up in a world full of people with superpowers? Like anime? Like cheap shonen manga with ridiculous outfits?"
[Exactly. Welcome to My Hero Academia, Goo Kim edition.]
I stayed quiet for a few seconds.
"... I like it."
[Of course you do. Nothing screams 'home' like a world where breaking noses is legal if you wear a nice uniform.]
"And I'm getting a quirk too?"
[Correct. Though its compatibility with you is… let's say, unconventional. In fact, the system hasn't even figured out how to classify it yet.]
"Perfect. Can't even be normal in death. Wonderful."
[True. But let's be honest, you weren't exactly normal when you were alive either.]
I sighed, arms crossed.
"Great. So now I'm a Korean bastard reincarnated in a world full of kids with firework powers. I love it."
[You're vibrating on a spiritual high.]
"... And how exactly do I get there?"
[Dimensional teleportation in 3… 2…]
"Hey, wait, I'm not rea—!"
[1.]
Darkness. Pressure.
A buzzing sound crawled into my skull like my soul was being microwaved.
And then, light.
A lot of it. Too much.
I opened my eyes abruptly, gasping, feeling like I'd been thrown out of a plane straight into a bed… with Pikachu sheets.
"What... the hell?"
I tried to sit up, but something felt off. My arms were... small. My hands, ridiculously soft. And my voice, when I spoke, sounded like a kid in a yogurt commercial.
"WHAT THE HELL?"
[Welcome, Goo Kim! What do you think of your new chibi presentation?]
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?"
[Nothing serious. Just, to insert your essence without collapsing this reality's timeline, the system picked a safe method: keep your body, but... adapt it. You're now eight years old. Congrats!]
"You shrunk me into a midget!"
[An adorable midget, though.]
"I'm going to uninstall you with my teeth."
[You can't. I'm part of you. Literally. A glorious sarcasm in stereo 24/7.]
Just then, the bedroom door swung open.
"Hey! You're finally awake, sleepyhead!"
A blond boy with messy hair, friendly face. School uniform. Slightly sparking. Literally.
He looked at me like we were family.
"Mom's making breakfast. Do you want your toast with jelly or peanut butter?"
I froze.
"... What kind of joke is this?"
[Meet Denki Kaminari. Hero-in-training. Walking spark. And your new big brother—on paper, at least.]
"Brother what?"
"Did you say something, Goo?"
My soul dropped. No. They didn't change my name. I'm Goo Kim.
But judging by that smile, Denki knew me like we'd grown up together.
"Goo? Are you okay?"
[Relax, the system integrated your identity into this world as an interdimensional transfer. You keep your name, your soul, and your natural charm. You just also… share a bathroom with Denki now.]
"I'd rather die."
[You already did. Technically.]
I brought both hands to my face. Small. Fragile. Useless. Then I turned to the void, talking to that damned voice.
"You're telling me they sent me to this world in a kid's body, to live with a smiling electric idiot straight out of a school comedy?"
[Exactly. You're fitting in better than I expected.]
"I'm going to break the universe's programming and reboot you with a kick."
[Aww, already with the insults. Our relationship is evolving!]
Denki walked closer and, to crown the humiliation, ruffled my hair like I was his pet.
"Come on, Goo. If you don't come downstairs, Mom's gonna scold me."
Then she let out a casual laugh.
"By the way, I already told Mum that you don't have to go to piano lessons today, that you were probably still upset about the other day. Are you feeling better?"
She said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. As if there had been an "other day".
I glared at him with pure hatred. Not because he'd done anything wrong, but because he existed... and treated me like a puppy.
I sighed. Not out of resignation, but because even I needed oxygen to plan my existential revenge.
"AI."
[Yes, fun-size version of Goo?]
"I want my original body. I want my height. I want my muscles. And I want my voice."
[Noted. You'll get them back… once you're old enough to vote.]
"I'm going to burn this world to the ground."
[Learn to write with crayons first.]
I walked down the stairs with a frown and my arms crossed, as if that could somehow bring back the muscles they stole from me. Denki hummed happily ahead of me, like this was some damn breakfast anime scene.
And then I saw them.
A woman with light brown hair, sweet eyes, wearing an apron with tomato prints. A tall man with a kind face, reading the newspaper in a bathrobe. They both looked up at the same time and smiled like… like they'd known me all my life.
"Good morning, sweetheart!" the woman said. Her voice was warm. Too warm.
"Did you sleep well, son?" the man added, sipping his coffee.
I stopped cold. Not out of fear. But because something inside me twisted.
A heartbeat.
A memory that wasn't mine. A visceral impulse, almost automatic. Like my muscles —these ridiculous little arms— recognized those voices before my brain did.
And that messed me up.
My body wanted to run to them. Hug them. Smile.
I didn't.
I didn't know these people.
"… Everything okay, son?" the woman asked, tilting her head with offensively tender eyes.
Son.
The word hit like a rock.
My jaw tensed. My hands trembled, though I couldn't tell if it was from anger, rejection… or confusion.
[Interesting reaction. Your body is adapting to this timeline. Its physical and emotional memories are syncing.]
"You're telling me… I'm starting to feel things that aren't mine?"
[Correct. But don't worry, your original memories remain intact. Though maybe… you'll start to understand why kids cry when their moms hug them.]
I looked at them.
And for one instant —just one— I felt peace.
Then I puked it up inside.
"Great. Not only am I eight years old… now I have feelings. How horrifying."
[Welcome to childhood, Goo Kim version.]
"I'm going to destroy the system."
[I can hear it sobbing already.]
Denki gently nudged me toward the table. My "mother" served me a smiling toast. My "father" winked at me.
And I…
I sat down.
Because even if my soul screamed that I didn't belong in this world…
My body —that traitorous bastard— had already accepted it.