Celine wrapped herself in the blanket tighter and retreated into the dining room, sitting behind the table.
'Great, just great.'
There was another guy who wanted to see her tied and whipped now.
She was a woman. Not a horse. She wasn't meant to be tied and whipped. She was meant to be loved and adored.
But here she was. Throwing all the chances of getting any of that away because of some stupid promise she made to some stupid guy from her stupid past.
Lucian thought the Rocheforts were all mighty, and that she would continue to hold the fort until he was ready to ask for her hand in marriage?
Well, the world wasn't going to wait for him. Despite all the power, all the money, and all the influence, she was just a woman, a woman whose time was ticking and running out.
Someone got there before Lucian, and she could do nothing about it. Someone else was going to be her husband. Someone else was going to be the father of her children.
Celine stabbed her fork into the banana inside the bowl. The banana lost. Its mushy corpse was brutally murdered.
She really thought her life was over. What could she do against the royal family without anyone's backing? She would either end up as a cattle to be bred, milked, and slaughtered; or a convict to be hunted and captured for the rest of her life. A Rochefort heir on the run was a dangerous Rochefort, no matter the gender.
So, she gambled. She gambled on Lucian. On his feelings, and his heart.
She wasn't raised to be kind and compassionate, selfless and caring. She didn't have all the time in the world to wait for him. She needed results. Fast.
Love was a good motivator, but hate? Hate was easy to feed, easy to keep alive. It didn't need watering, or attention. It could survive and thrive on its own.
The more motivation Lucian had, the better. She needed him to be motivated. To be hungry. Hungry and desperate like she was.
She broke Lucian, and he came back to break her. It was a fair trade, wasn't it? An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. A broken heart for a broken heart.
Celine stabbed another piece of banana, murdering it too.
'If we went his way, we would still have continued our little secret affair, but until when? Until we turn old and gray? Until death do us part? He is a man and has all the time in the world. I don't!'
Celine took a deep breath, 'He just loves to watch me suffer, doesn't he? He is enjoying it. He knows nobody wants a bride who is past her prime. Nobody wants a bride who is known to have affairs. Nobody wants a bride who doesn't have a shred of innocence left in her body.'
Lucian knew it for a long time. During her academic life, he watched and enjoyed as she brought herself to her doom. He let her continue to destroy her own life and reputation, and let her continue to be a disgrace. It bought him time, but it ruined hers.
'How stupid of me!'
She should have taken a different route and not put her fate in his hands!
'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!′
No matter how high he climbed, it was never enough for him. She longed for marriage, but his fear always held him back from going along with her plans─a merchant of humble origins had no place next to Celine Rochefort, or so he believed. He was always doubting his worth. Always doubting his strength. Or maybe he was just bluffing and had never planned to marry her at all!
Celine stuffed the mushy banana into her mouth, 'I was supposed to be married and pregnant by now, and look where I am. The audacity! He promised to protect me, but he lied. He lied to me. He let everyone hurt me. He let everyone mock me. He let everyone humiliate me, and he let everyone trample on my dignity. He made me like this, and he knows it. He made me like this, and now he dares to mock me like the rest?'
He didn't care about her reputation, about what people thought about her.
He didn't care because he had her, and it was enough for him.
He chose his comfort zone, and the safe path while she was the only one taking risks, being exposed, and being vulnerable.
Five years. For five years, she had been delaying the marriage with the Crown Prince. Five years of buying time, and five years of using all kinds of excuses to break the engagement.
She was getting old, and nobody took kindly to unmarried women, not even her father.
'He wants to punish me, does he?'
'He wants to see me cry, does he?'
He should be grateful that she wasn't the one to hunt him down and skin him alive!
'Now that he is a big shot, he thinks he can mess with me? Me?'
Celine hated how they had to hide and sneak around like they were doing something wrong, something bad. She was a proud woman, and she would have been a proud wife and a proud mother if he hadn't left her hanging.
If she hadn't done what she did, it would have taken Lucian thrice the time to reach where he was now. Thrice the time to reach the height he was finally satisfied with.
Celine gritted her teeth and swallowed when she thought about what happened five years ago, pushing in another spoonful. She felt like she was going to throw up, but forced the fruit down anyway. She needed to be able to run, and hunt, not be sickly and bedridden. Not be weak and useless like her mother, who would lay in her room and cry all day, every day.
She put up a front to keep the Rochefort's dying might, and at the same time, put up a front so those vultures couldn't get their claws into her. She made them think she would be the Rochefort's downfall because of her arrogance and ignorance, not knowing it was to protect herself from being killed like the rest.
She played her cards well, but she could not keep this facade forever. They would soon start to notice that the Rochefort was still going strong, and would start to wonder why and how.
'He wants to see me miserable? Is that it?'