"No... this can't be real."
My hand, trembling, reached for the bathroom mirror. The cool glass against my fingertips was the only thing that stopped the shaking, but a new urge immediately took its place—the overwhelming desire to just punch the goddamn thing.
"Seriously, no way. This isn't right. This shouldn't be happening...!"
But I knew I couldn't. Because if this body really belonged to that character, the mirror would shatter into a million pieces with the slightest tap.
Besides, no matter how much I wanted to deny the 'me' in the reflection, a pathetic outburst wasn't going to make me feel any better. My current state of mind was far beyond a simple temper tantrum. If the storm of emotions brewing deep inside me was that easy to quell, I would've gotten a grip on myself ages ago. Not that it's even been an hour yet, but that's just a minor detail.
"Whoa—"
Ha. So now I can't even curse properly. An automatic filter? I was trying to let out a satisfying "Fuck," so why did it come out sounding so damn cute? The fact that it was in my new voice made it all the more absurd.
To be fair, being the one speaking instead of just listening, it does feel a little different from the voice I knew. But this was, without a doubt, the character's signature exclamation. I guess it's a small mercy that it came out with more of a gritty, curse-like undertone than her usual cheerful vibe...?
Then again, the original owner of this body probably wouldn't even know a word as vulgar as 'fuck.' She might have had a bit of a sharp tongue, but she was, for all intents and purposes, a prim and proper young lady.
Not that any of that really matters right now.
...Well, okay, it's not that it doesn't matter. But let's get back to the root cause of why I'm having a meltdown in front of a mirror. My situation is hopeless. So hopeless, in fact, that I'd almost rather be dead.
I think anyone who enjoys creative works like games, novels, or manga has, at some point, imagined themselves entering that world. Tropes like 'transmigration' or 'reincarnation,' so common in novels, are born from those very delusions. You know, the kind of fantasy where you become Luffy from One Piece or Itachi from Naruto. It's a common childhood daydream.
Long story short, the reason my mental state is shattered to the point of being powdered dust is that I've been transmigrated into a specific character from a certain game.
The game's title is Blue Archive. It's a mobile game often shortened by its users to BlueArch or BA, sometimes even called the 'Mol?'-Game...
But honestly, to me right now, it's just a goddamn trash game that I despise.
Blue Archive is a gacha game, a waifu-collector blatantly designed to milk the otaku market. As a game aimed squarely at a male user base, it features an extremely skewed gender ratio where, with a few exceptions, all the main characters—the ones the user can play—are, of course, female.
The game is set in a sprawling academy city called Kivotos. This city is home to thousands of academies, all of which have banded together to form what is essentially a federal state.
Even if you've never played Blue Archive, you've probably figured it out by now. The main characters driving the story are the female students attending these various academies.
And that's the game I've been thrown into. Not as the protagonist, the 'Sensei,' but as one of the playable characters. One of the 'students.'
Me, a guy, has been transmigrated as a female student in a game portrayed as being populated almost entirely by female students. Honestly, wouldn't it be weirder if someone didn't have a mental breakdown in this situation?
I'm sure even those guys who constantly say things like, "I wish I was born a girl," or "I'd love to live as a girl for just one day," would change their tune the moment they actually sprouted a pair of massive breasts, their voice went up three octaves, and the family jewels went missing. I'm sure there's some weirdo out there who'd be into it, but that weirdo isn't me.
"...I don't remember doing anything to deserve getting zapped by a gender-bender beam."
From what I remember, the genre of fiction known as 'gender-bender' has a pretty dedicated fanbase. Stories about a protagonist's gender suddenly flipping are surprisingly in demand.
But that's them, not me. I never liked the genre. Not once, not even for a split second, did I ever wish for something like this to happen to me.
"Hooo..."
I take a slow, deliberate breath, trying to find some inner peace. It doesn't work.
I faced the mirror again, slowly taking in my new reflection. My favorite character, who had only ever existed as a 2D image on a screen, was now standing before me, living and breathing. The fact that she was me was the problem, but still, it was a moving moment.
Her disheveled hair was a unique shade, starting as pink at the roots and fading into a sky blue at the tips—a color impossible to achieve without intentional dyeing. Of course, this being an otaku game, it was all natural.
Her skin was so fair and flawless you couldn't find a single blemish. Does she even need makeup? I had the useless thought that trying to apply some shoddy makeup would only ruin her skin.
Her eyes were primarily gold, but the strange thing was that the upper part of her irises faded into a mysterious color reminiscent of the cosmos. They had a strange charm that made me stare blankly, completely captivated.
Then there were the eyelashes, so long I wondered if they needed special maintenance; a nose that could only be described as adorably cute; a small mouth that looked like it couldn't handle anything larger than bite-sized food; and lips, currently twisted into a pout that reflected my mood. Overall, she had the face of a beauty who would turn heads anywhere. She was, without a doubt, the most overwhelmingly beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life.
This girl, with her messy hair and no makeup, was prettier than female celebrities who'd spent a fortune on stylists and makeup, all enhanced by camera filters. How is that even possible?
And why, of all people, did it have to be me?
"...Right. This is why they call her 'Princess.' She's disgustingly beautiful."
As the one now possessing this body, I didn't want to admit it, but this was the character I was head over heels for. Thinking back on all those days I spent simping for a character who wasn't even playable yet, a small smile naturally formed on my lips.
Watching that smile in the mirror, I marveled at her beauty for a moment before the reality that this was me crashed down on me all over again. A sigh escaped my lips.
"If only I had become Sensei, I would've had nothing more to ask for."
If that were the case, I might have been able to set aside my worries about my old life. The chance to meet my favorite character, who existed only on a screen, in the flesh? That's something that should be impossible, even if the heavens fell.
I know the world of Blue Archive isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but if I could just meet her, it would be worth it.
But for me to become her is a different story entirely. She's a character who openly shows her affection for Sensei, and at some point, even starts to exhibit some seriously obsessive, yandere-like tendencies.
If everything unfolds according to the original story, I'm destined to become a literal female who's head over heels for Sensei, who is most likely a man. I'd rather die. The mere thought of me fawning over a guy is so repulsive it makes me want to vomit.
My old life, the one I was living so earnestly, flashes before my eyes. But a way back to reality?
Let's be honest. Does something like that even exist?
The most plausible option would be to get help from Gematria, the organization that serves as the masterminds or villains in Blue Archive. But frankly, I don't trust them one bit. They seem like the type to perform all sorts of bizarre experiments on me without a second thought.
I wouldn't care if it was my original body, but I can't stand the thought of them performing strange experiments on my favorite character's body. It just feels... wrong.
"Ah."
A thought suddenly occurred to me.
...If I die in this body, can I return to reality?
As far as I know, none of the students in Kivotos are purely human. They're all a mix of fantasy races like beastmen, angels, and demons.
Maybe that's why they don't die easily. They can get shot and be fine; take a direct hit from an anti-aircraft gun and just be temporarily out of commission, or even keep moving. They boast an insane level of durability. That said, they aren't invincible or immortal. If they take a shock that exceeds what their body can handle, they can die.
My gaze drifts up to the top of my head in the mirror. A halo, shaped like a galaxy or a supernova explosion, was rotating there. All students in Blue Archive have a unique halo above their heads, but the character I've become is the only known student with a rotating one.
It's mentioned in the story that a student dies when their halo is destroyed, but the only thing that can actually destroy a halo and kill a student is a 'halo-destroying bomb.' And even that is a weapon whose actual effectiveness has never been proven.
So, 'destroying the halo' should be seen as a figure of speech. Just as a halo fades when a student loses consciousness, it permanently loses its light when they die.
If there were a guarantee that I'd return upon death, I might not have passed up such an easy option. Isn't one of the fundamental reasons we fear death because what comes after is an unknown terror?
But there's no certainty, and honestly, the thought of dying is just as scary here. Even if I could go back, the idea of killing my favorite character with my own hands just feels wrong.
Right, there's that saying, "Live with the courage it takes to die." Let's just try to live. Who knows? Maybe a way back will present itself.
I try to force myself to think positively, but the effect is minimal.
...Screw it. My head is throbbing so hard it feels like it's about to explode.
I should just get some sleep and think about it again later. I really hope this is all just a bad dream.
I prayed fervently that when I woke up, I would be back in my own body, eagerly awaiting the start of my favorite character's pickup banner.
Completely oblivious to the fact that my new body was that of a student who had to go to school. Completely unaware that the original owner of this body had never missed a single day, and that her unannounced absence had sent her childhood friend into a complete panic.
And even though I knew exactly what ceiling would be waiting for me when I opened my eyes again, I once more forced myself to seek a sleep that wouldn't come in the body of my favorite character.
There was no grand cause-and-effect, no special karmic reason why I, who had always championed for the princess's release, had now become that very princess.
There was only the result: I had become my favorite character from Blue Archive, Misono Mika.