The next morning, at the Uchiha clan head's residence, a family of four sat having breakfast while reading the newspaper.
"Today's wind feels kinda rough," Shen Uchiha couldn't help but remark after finishing his read of the Konoha Daily.
"So this is all you've managed to do as head of the regulatory body, huh? You see how they're slandering me in this paper—making me look as dark as charcoal. Told you ages ago to throw a little cash around and buy out this rotten news agency. Now look— even the village's richest guy doesn't respect us anymore."
Zhi Jian wore a face of despair listening to Shen's complaints. Who would've thought these newspaper guys would actually dare publish false rumors, knowing full well it might anger him?
"Old man, maybe we Uchiha should start our own newspaper too! That Konoha News Agency won't stand a chance against us!"
"You think it's that easy, brat? Where are you gonna find so many stories every day?"
Shen wasn't about to give up either. "We can take submissions! Didn't Hokage Uncle say his disciple's always eager to publish a book? We'll commission some exclusive serializations and pay him a little!"
"But how much can one person really write? And most people probably wouldn't care about that kind of novel anyway."
Zhi Jian also knew all too well about the Third Hokage's notorious student. They say this man was already sneaking into the women's side of the Konoha Bathhouse when he was just Shen's age. The novels he wrote were exactly the kind decent people wouldn't touch—but the indecent ones would eat right up. But where on earth would Konoha find enough indecent people?
"Then I'll do it myself! Guaranteed they'll be begging us for more newspapers, guaranteed!"
Confidently declaring that, Shen totally shocked the other three at the table.
"Shen, you write novels too? What genre?" Aiko (Qingzi) asked with concern, worried their child might end up writing similarly questionable content.
"Whatever genre Mother wishes to see, that's what I'll write!"
Fugaku finally perked up with interest too. "Really? How about something epic?"
Shen laughed loudly, hands on his hips. "Wahahaha… Of course there is! I, Shen Uchiha, am a master of everything!"
"Fine then, write me a first draft and let me take a look." Zhi Jian had already made a decision. In his mind, although this kid often seemed unreliable, when it came to taking suggestions seriously, he never disappointed.
"Old man, I guarantee once you see the first draft, you'll be chasing me across town demanding I keep writing!"
"Then I shall wait and see."
Shen knew exactly his father wouldn't believe he could pull off something compelling. But he was confident nonetheless. As someone who'd crossed over from another world, how could he not be a copycat genius? His trump card—the "hard drive" stored within him—contained all his past life's memories, including all the novels, small dramas... and yes, I mean those kinds of movies. Even those washing machine and microwave principles he'd created were painstakingly simulated from bits of knowledge extracted from that archive.
Not long after, at the Ninja Academy—
"Did you hear? The Senju heir got rejected by the Uchiha's second young master and ended up beaten so badly he'll be bedridden for at least three months!"
"Heard about it, heard about it! I mean, what's wrong with that Uchiha kid anyway? Just because someone confessed to him, did he really have to beat the guy up like that?"
"Ah, you wouldn't understand that," said another student. "I heard the Senju heir was rejected once before. Probably why Uchiha's second young master couldn't tolerate it and decided to eliminate him. I heard Hinata was there too."
"A love triangle? How exciting!"
"Yeah, right! What do you think will happen between those three in the end?"
"What's going on? Why's everyone suddenly gone quiet?"
Shen Uchiha, who had just arrived at the Ninja Academy with Nayou, frowned darkly as he overheard these discussions among the students. He patted the shoulder of the student who'd spoken last.
"Shen Uchiha."
"You're curious about what'll happen between us three, right? Now I can tell you directly."
"N-No thanks, I gotta go!"
The poor student quickly fled under Shen's gentle yet unsettling gaze, though he had no intention of chasing after him.
Seriously, there were way too many students at the ninja academy—should he beat up each one individually? That would be exhausting. The gossip king figured he'd let things cool off for now.
"Nayou, do you think my reputation can still let me live peacefully here at school? Maybe we should..."
"No way! Absolutely not! No chance!"
Nayou immediately shot down Shen's suggestion with a triple refusal, having gradually figured out his tricks. First, play the innocent victim; then twist the narrative to make everything seem perfectly reasonable—so he could stir up trouble without guilt.
"Hmph. You're such a coward, Nayou. Didn't we both set the school on fire last time? So why did I end up taking all the blame?"
Nayou didn't respond but gave him a particularly perfect demonstration of an eye-roll.
"Hmph."
Shen Uchiha immediately backed off, entering the classroom with an unhappy frown on his face.
Akimichi Heiji, the round-faced boy, had sharp eyes and instantly stood up straight, bowing ninety degrees when he saw the second young master walk in.
"Good morning, Boss Shen!"
"???"
Shen was completely confused inside—how had Akimichi Heiji suddenly become his little follower? Had he unknowingly fallen under Kotoamatsukami?
As he tried to sort through possible explanations, the atmosphere in the room turned quite strange.
Sensing something odd, Nayou looked back and saw Shen with unfocused eyes. She immediately knew he was plotting something again. She elbowed his ribs sharply.
"Ow! What the—? Oh!"
Three different expressions followed—pain, confusion, realization—all captured by Shen's "Ow! What the—? Oh!"
"Hello, Big Sis Nayou!"
"!!!"
"Fatty, I'm warning you—food can be eaten carelessly, but words must not be spoken recklessly!"
Before Nayou exploded, Shen hastily threatened Heiji, though he himself felt something was off.
All the classmates were stunned speechless by this utterly illogical exchange.
But Heiji wore an expression of complete understanding: "Only a real boss could say something like that!"
"No, no—that's not what I meant at all!"
"Please accept my snacks, Boss Shen!"
Startled by the sudden pile of snacks shoved into his arms, Shen stiffly caught them before slowly realizing he hadn't even gotten to say the words "that's not it!"
Smiling sweetly at him, Nayou remarked, "Such eloquence from our oh-so-brilliant young master Shen."
"Good heavens! The sky and earth bear witness — our Little Iceberg just cracked a joke!" Shen, the true culprit behind it all, remained totally unaware of his role while internally lamenting how times have changed and hearts grown cold.
"Rin rin—"
A sharp ring cut through the air.
Shen turned to check the classroom wall clock and realized it was already 8 p.m. As he still struggled to find words for his own defense, Nayou tugged at his sleeve and dragged him into a front seat.
"Nayou, just now—"
"I get it completely. You don't need to explain — I understand every word."
Cut off mid-sentence again, Shen was now seriously having an existential crisis. Was Little Iceberg... actually getting sassy? And who on earth had influenced her like this?
"Damn that son-of-a-thousand-curses bastard! Not even the Sage of Six Paths could hold you back — and thus I, Shen Uchiha, hereby declare—"
Deeply resolved inside himself, Shen truly didn't have an ounce of common AC-sense left.
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