I was back in my room after my little journey, I thought about Leo long and hard, I'm not a manipulator and I will never use someone but he has been trying to offer his help, I figured if he's genuine I'll take his help and it'll benefit me and if there's some ill intent behind it, I already have the mentality that I'm not trusting him and we're not on the same side, I will discuss with him about it but I won't reveal anything to him.
I don't remember for how long I've been in Keon now, not that I'm dying to go back to Azarthis, my plan to escape is being set into motion already, there's still a lot to consider, where do I go? What do I do? There's so much uncertainty and I'm so lost but I know I have to do it anyways.
It was dinner time and Leo was sitting opposite me, this is my oppurtunity to talk things out with him but I'm finding it hard to decide where to even start from, this is the third time I've cleared my throat, at the count of three I'll start to speak, 1....2....3...! Silence, What is wrong with you, I was arguing with myself in my head before I was interrupted, 'how was your day?' Leo asks me, I stare at him blankly, blinking multiple times before speaking up, my mind wanders to the place I found accidentally, 'nothing unusual', I settle with saying just that, 'seems boring, why don't you do anything?' I look at him dumbfounded wondering how he asked such a stupid question.
'Maybe because I'm not allowed to!' Sarcasm dripping from my words, 'I'm sorry, it was a foolish question to ask,' he rubs the back of his neck, 'about what happened to you, we tried to investigate as secretive as we could not to raise unnecessary suspicions, we couldn't find any explanation, you still don't remember?' He questions me. 'I don't, we should forget it happened, I want to talk about something else with you'.
I'm glad he started this conversation or I would've given up on talking to him. 'Its not normal for you to want to speak with me, not that I'm complaining, I appreciate it because I genuinely want to be of help to you princess,' he replies. I exhale, 'I don't understand you, what is it that you want? Why are you offering your help? There must be something you could gain from this' I fold my hands around myself waiting for his answer, it's eating me up inside, I wish I could read his mind so I know his true intentions.
He rubs his chin with his hands, holding eye contact with me, he stays silent for a few seconds before speaking up. 'I'm not asking you to trust me, neither will I ever ask you to trust me and I know anything I say won't convince you but that's not who I am Reyna', my eyebrows shoot up at the use of my name, its been so many years since anyone called me by my name, that definitely stirred something in me, 'since I was a child, its been drilled into my head to hate your people and all the races of the ocean, when your people turned their backs on us, no one stood behind us, the whole ocean followed suit, my race has kept that grudge against everyone for generations, it was important for us to pass that grudge to our offsprings, it wasn't just a grudge, we developed deep hatred towards you, we heard stories of all the cruel things you did to us, but that didn't stop my doubts.
Hundreds of species both intelligent and non-intelligent and we were the only ones outcasted, how could a single race be right and hundreds be wrong? Even in my daily life, the majority was always right, why was our situation the exception? Even if we were right, we were the minority so shouldn't that make us wrong?
I questioned everything, the majority decided what was right or wrong, the majority invented the right morals that exist today, that is the logic of the world, our logic even, but it didn't apply to what happened to us, it was rather hypocritical to me, my race were hypocrites, I came to the conclusion that we were in the wrong and hence never accepted the idea of revenge, it sounds unbelievable but I blame us completely for what happened, I have never shared this to anyone and I never want to, every mermaid would disagree with me and they'd be right, they're the majority after all.
I was constantly arguing with myself, the logical part of me knew we were wrong and hence faced the consequence of our actions, the mermaid in me believed we had a right to revenge and the healer in me just wanted all this to end.
I'm saying this to you because its the pure truth which you wish to know and I believe you won't disagree with me, I'm not following my father because I think he's right, I'm following him because I do not have a choice, behind the scenes I'll do whatever I want which right now is to be of help to you.
I adore your race, heck I envy it, everything about you guys is mesmerising, the world is so large and there's so much to know and so many races to mingle with, I was amazed at how your father handled the attack years ago, how he ruled over everything, I've read anything and everything I could about your race, I hate how you treated us, how you banished us, how you punished us, its the one wrong thing you did and one wrong shouldn't define a whole race, which is why in this war, I'm not on anyone's side, my wish is that things go back to how they were and we all live in peace, it was lonely being the only race beyond the seven seas, confined to one territory, now that we're here, I should be able to feel like we won but its not the case,
we're ruling over everyone with fear, this is not the world I wish to live in Reyna, I sincerely apologise for everything we put you through, its not fair, I am begging you to let me help you, the guilt is eating me alive, I hate the way things turned out, I've been forced to pretend that all of this is right but deep in my heart I can't cope with seeing people suffer. The healer in me breaks down every time I have to do something cruel, my power is to heal and help not bring about pain and suffering.'
I was speechless, I was listening to everything he said without interrupting, looking at his face I could tell he was tearing up, I was so shocked all I could do was stare, I watched as he got up from his seat, moving closer to me, he got on his left knee and bowed, his head mere inches from my thigh, both his hands were intertwined together, he raised them to his face, the tips of his fingers touching his forehead, I audibly gasped, I shoot up from my own seat, taking a few steps back.
'Princess Reyna, rightful heir to the throne of Azarthis, your ancestors wronged us, but we've wronged you even worse, made you pay for crimes you didn't commit, I am begging you to forgive us, it may be too much to ask of you but at least forgive me and allow me to atone for our crime, allow me to help you in any way I can, this is coming from deep within my heart princess, give me a chance, I am making an oath to you, to stand behind you every step of your way, and eventually release you of your suffering, that is all I have to say, I can only hope you believe me.' He glanced at me before letting his eyes wander to the ground again, I saw the guilt in his eyes, the slight change of their colour from his tears.
My body was frozen in place, tears were leaving my eyes silently as well, please no, why would he do this to me, how dare he do this, he's a mermaid, he's evil, they're evil, I thought, I look down at him again, no, I voice out this time, my voice shaking, don't do this to me, I was on the verge of breaking down, but I couldn't let that happen in front of him, I turn around, heading for my room immediately, I ran away from him, going as fast as I could, I yanked my door open, the second it closed I leaned against it, allowing myself to freely sink, all the emotions kept in me poured out with my sobs, I muffled it, shoving my face into my thighs, though I know no one would hear me anyways, I let it out, reminiscing everything I went through, losing my parents, Zaria, everyone in the kingdom. The same way they thought of us to be evil, we thought the same of them too and now I have to pay the price.
Its extremely difficult to change ideals you grew up with, I was never taught to hate them, I was taught of their punishment, the consequence of their actions but after everything they put me through, I found myself hating them all. Leo released something in me, I cannot explain what I feel or why I feel this way, what he did scared me, because I wasn't ready to accept the truth, to accept him, I wanted to continue living in my hatred bubble towards mermaids. He bowed to me, not the bowing I receive for being royalty, but the bowing of forgiveness, a sacred tradition for us, an action to show submission, to seek forgiveness and accept anything that comes with it, there's a myth behind it, whoever performs the ritual with dishonesty or ingenuity in their hearts will have great misfortune befall them because not only are you seeking forgiveness from the person but from the most high himself, the creator of everything, the supreme being. I am certain Leo knows this, which is why I broke down, he was genuine, he was telling the truth and I'm not ready to accept that.