All classes were canceled, and the fortune deity seemed to be on my side for that occasion as I had awoken overdue. I immediately turned off the set alarm that had been ringing for the past 3 hours as it was unable to awaken my consciousness by the designated time, although clearly, fate has blessed me. Due to the fact that not only all lectures were canceled, the first I laid my eyes on when my phone screen displayed in front of me was a notification for a message from 'Calix:)', forming a smile and happiness radiating off me.
It was a short message that simply greets, "hello?" to which I reciprocate the greeting.
I perked up as I saw his immediate, 'typing. . .' anticipating the response that he'll be sending me next.
Calix:): Seems like our challenge is canceled for the day.
He started, and it struck me the reason my alarm had been sounding for hours now. I'd set an alarm the night before, but I suppose I was far more exhausted than I thought I was.
Me: Right, I guess so.
By the next reply, I swore he was either capable of long-distance mind-reading, or he was living in my walls as he said—
Calix:): Because you slept late?
He reasoned my sentence of agreement.
Me: Nope, hahaha
Calix:): Hmm?
Me: What, I said no.
Calix:): Mhmm
Me: Ugh finee, you're right..
Calix:): That's what I thought, haha
Me: How did you know?
Calix:): Magic hahahah
Me: I'M SERIOUS
Calix:) : And you think I'm not?
Me: Bruh.
Calix:): Right, by the way. Do you have time today? Wanna hang out later this afternoon?
Me: Sure, I'm free today. When and where?
Calix:): Esther's Coffee shop by 2 pm?
I instinctively smiled as he mentioned the location of our first official encounter. I had expected his suggestion, despite the mortification that'd erupted from the flashbacks. Nevertheless he made his decision well—a good choice, and a good time, as the maintenance work on the sidewalk had been completed since the early morning of Monday, therefore I could take my usual route to the oftenly visited locations—Esther's coffee shop being one of them.
Me: Alright then, see you in a few hours. Bye Calix
Calix:): You too, Aslynne
My phone returned to the bedside table after his last message was read whilst rubbing my heavy eyes and ridding off the rheum as I left my bed lazily, stretching my limbs to oblivion as I started my routine as usual. I cleansed my mouth as well as my body, which nearly killed me as I'd forgotten about my wound and the water that seeped through was excruciating—I couldn't bear applying soap directly even if it's a very strong disinfectant, I'm sure. Still, I cleaned myself thoroughly, changed the bandaid and sprayed vanilla all over myself. I checked my phone, and noted that I had about an hour and a half remaining as I began selecting my choice of outfit for this afternoon.
I sneaked my hands through the pile of fabrics, and I ended up selecting a warm knitted brown sweater, after multiplying my layers underneath to keep myself shielded from the cold, and a thick wool skirt that ends by my lower calf as well as leg warmers over my socks to cover the entirety of my legs. To top it off, furry winter boots settled warmly on my feet, with a silk scarf embracing my neck and an ear muffle slightly deafening my ears. I went out half an hour before the due as I scrolled upon a warm-coded playlist after inserting an earbud before my ear muffle. I wore my gloves once I began treading my path and enjoyed the scenery and breath of fresh, cool air. Though it was much cooler than I thought, and my nose began to feel numb along with my cheeks and forehead which were the only unveiled areas.
Just as I was dozing off while waiting for the walk light to go off, I felt a hard push on my shoulders—surprising me as I turned around to find the culprit, meeting Calix who seemed proud and gleeful having succeeded in frightening me. We both laughed it off as the light walked and we crossed the road as we began to chat within ourselves whilst walking to our destination.
"Where did you come from? That scared the shit out of me."
I watched in amusement as he tried to calm himself from his outburst which succeeded after a few.
"Honestly, I was running, because I took a nap and overslept. But from a few blocks away, I could already tell it was you from your back profile. Speaking of which, It was a nice run actually, you should do it too whenever you feel like it's too cold. It kept my body pretty warm." He answered, and I laughed upon his confession, which he smiled sheepishly at—I could see his embarrassment about it.
"Ohh, thanks for the tip, I'll keep that in mind."
He smiled at my gratitude and opened the entrance door of the coffee shop as we arrived. I thanked him once again as I entered and was immediately greeted with the warm ambience and the soft scent of coffee beans, and of course—the cheery voices of my acquainted.
"How's your cheek, by the way?"
He looked at me, pointing to his own as we walked towards the counter.
"Ah, it was like hell taking a shower.. but the wound's started to dry up already. "
I smiled lazily as I cried internally remembering how surprised I was when my cheek twinged.
"Alright then, you can take it off once it's fully dried up."
"Yeah, I will. Thanks."
I gratefully smiled at his consideration. He hummed and nodded in response as we stood by the counter with the mischievous eyes of the staff, leering at our interaction while wiggling their eyebrows in teasing.
Our arrival together was greeted with loud and noise as Calix seemed to be a regular customer just as I am here. We verified both our guessed-orders as they started to tease us about us. There were neither customers aside from ourselves at the moment, and they chattered noisily, speaking whatsoever they wished to. They were cupid attempting to shoot their arrows upon us, and they were adamant of their choice. Nonetheless, although their comments and remarks occasionally aroused embarrassment, it roused hysterical laughter as well, and it was fun.
"Hey, Aslynne? You alright?"
Calix waved his hand over my face as I snapped back to reality. I'd been too comfortable staying inside my thoughts.
"Yeah, totally fine! Why?" I replied, and I noticed a light shade of red tinted his cheeks as he smiled rather bashfully, covering his face.
"Um, no I just um—I'm sorry about their.. jokes and teasing, it happens when I come here with a woman," he said apologetically, I could understand him. It happened to me as well, previously.
"No worries, I can understand. It was hilarious more than anything, honestly." I laughed as I recalled one of their previous remarks.
"Mm, yeah. Thank you," he said, and a thought popped up in my head as I sipped on my drink.
"Right, speaking of which—have you been in relationships before?" I asked, opening up a new topic for us to talk about, hoping it isn't a sensitive one for him.
"Ah, yeah, I've been in a couple. How about you?"
"Me too, a few but most of them weren't that significant honestly. Sorry—I just want to make sure, is this a sensitive topic for you?"
"Hm? Oh, no, no. Don't worry, I'm cool with it."
"Good to know, so.. tell me about it?"
He spoke, "right.. well—there was this one… it was back in highschool, she was a literal 'it girl' back then. She was so pretty, and I was.. well, I was good at sports. I'm sure I was quite well known due to my sports abilities, and put it simply, we dated. Most of it was alright, but tell you what—the reason for our break up, now that I think of it—was extremely goofy. It was actually hilarious. She was the one who called the relationship off, and you know why? Because she thought I was gay," he ended with a blank expression, and I laughed at his story, but a question formed in my mind.
"Um, are you?"
His sexuality had never really crossed my mind, but now that he mentioned I was beginning to wonder about it.
"No," he said blankly, and there was a brief pause in our conversation before we burst into laughter—as I choked on my drink due to the explosion.
"Hey, woah, you alright? Careful, swallow first."
He concerned over me as he attempted to calm my choking fit, bringing my glass up to my lips in a form of help and giving some relief as the cold, sweet liquid traveled down my throat that had become slightly sore due to the same liquid formerly entering the wrong path. I thanked him as I urged him to continue.
"Okay, I'm alright now. So what's the story behind that? You've got to leave no details behind, alright." I said firmly, quirking an eyebrow at him who simply chuckled and nodded.
He began with a light laugh, "so apparently since I used to skip some classes to smoke behind the school with my best bud, who was the one she thought I was hooking up with—sometimes we both had no matches, but he usually always came prepared with a lit cigarette, while I didn't. For that, I'd ask him to pass me some, and you know how that works right? Yeah, so well if you see it from behind, it's quite likely that you'd think I was mooching off with someone." We laughed simultaneously. It was certainly quite the experience, and the comedy as well.
He asks, "what about yours? Any experiences you could share with me?" I laughed as I thought of one.
"Yup. So there was this one guy I dated back in.. I think—my last year of high school. He took me to prom, and of course I accepted. Everything was fine and well until the dancing part, during the entire dance—he stepped on my foot endlessly, and he didn't even seem to realize it until I got fed up and kicked his foot off mine, leading him to fall down on the floor. And guess what?"
"Pfft—did he cry?"
"Oh, he didn't just cry. His wig flew off of his head, and his glossy, spotless skin of his head was on display for everyone. You know what's even more hilarious to that? He was popular in my school for having the best hairstyle out of all the guys."
"Now we know why.. pfft—"
He burst into laughter and so did I, as the vivid image in my head was still as clear as day. It was forever an unforgettable memory as I recalled how exercised my stomach was—to the extent of cramping up for excessive laughter.
Afterwards, we continued to share our experiences with our previous partners to each other. Most of which were quite silly and actually hilarious. We spent the time that way, and I had more than a couple of good laughs talking about it, even the staff joined in our share of experiences as they closed the shop momentarily for a leisure time without interruptions.
Soon, it was time to leave. It feels as though the once bright sky had flown to the other side of the world as quickly as Usain Bolt. We realized it quite late as all of us were too occupied and immersed with each other's experiences. So we left the shop that closed shortly after we began our walk back home.
There weren't any vehicles passing by at all as it's drizzled sometime in the evening and the road was covered with thin ice. We walked in silence by each other's side, as our clothing occasionally greets each other, and while it was peaceful, needless to say—it felt awkward, at least to me. I couldn't help but sneak glances at him as I thought hard of a topic to break up the dry silence that was beginning to eat me out from the inside. Then as soon as I thought of a topic I immediately—
"So.. wanna talk—" "So what about–"
We both spoke at the same time. Responsive to that, we both laughed as my legs swayed, unable to walk straight with my eyes half closed due to the intensity of my laughter and I had to stop, and stand still for a moment to actually laugh it off and calm myself down. Once I did, I realized Calix was waiting while watching me calm myself from my uncontrollable laugh, and I felt deeply embarrassed, walking ahead over him as I didn't wait to get rid of the embarrassment I was feeling. He noticed and realized, of course—which he laughed lightly over, catching up to my pace before we both started walking in silence once again, but this time it didn't last long.
He asks, "can I ask you?" He looked at me with a small hint of nervousness that made me quite curious, since his question in itself was so vague. But I nodded as a permit.
"What's your ideal type? If you don't mind me asking." I let out a soft hum as a way to deliver my acknowledgement to his question, taking my time as I thought of the answer.
"Wait, um ideal type as in physically or personality?"
"Ah, well.. personality."
"Alright, then—I'd like someone who's patient and gentle in handling me and what they do, even during conflicts—actually no, especially during conflicts. Good humor, good listener.. and, um… yeah that's it."
I couldn't help the smile of awe that made its way on my face as my imaginations traveled far and wide to such a person, and such a person as my lover. It'd be like a secured home of paradise in the midst of hell.
"That's really sweet."
"Haha, thank you. What about you? "
"I love.. someone who has much love within themselves, dedicated and committed to things they love, things they want. Affectionate, someone who listens to me well, someone who would try for me, even if it isn't something within their comfort zone. Someone who gives me true advice, but knows when to give me just emotional support on difficult times. Ah—hey, are you—you okay?.."
"I'm sorry, I um—I don't know, my eyes feel spicy—"
I didn't know why tears were pouring out, it wasn't as if he said anything particularly sentimental. A magical chili dust went inside my eyes and it started stinging all of a sudden and there were tears forming before I knew it. Calix laughed at my pathetic description of feelings and I did too, as a tear slipped and I was laughing crying, while he was trying to help me, taking out a soft napkin to wipe my tears while still laughing from what I said with his back hunched over, slightly crouching, and he was wiping my lips instead of my tears.
I couldn't stop the river flowing down my cheeks, yet I wasn't capable of controlling the laughter that kept slipping past my lips either. It was an incredible combination of feelings, and honestly—I had never felt this emotionally free. While Calix was consistently rubbing my lips, I couldn't think of anything except of how I wished this would last forever just like this. But I'm not so childish, I know there is no such thing as forever. I just.. wanted to be a bit childish for now, to just let go of all reality and all that's happened, and just—live in this moment.
"Calix—mp—hey–"
"Wha—hahahahha—sorry—what?"
"You're.. pf—wiping my lips–"
As I said that, he just dropped his hand from my face and held his stomach while hysterically laughing. I was wheezing, but I was beginning to calm down from all the laughing that's actually physically draining me, to the point that I let go of my weight and just sat down on the sidewalk as I enjoyed the moment and relaxed a bit. Calix joined me shortly, but he was still laughing, it nearly triggered—though I was able to control it before it was let loose.
"Is there anything you find yourself passionate about?"
He suddenly asked in the midst of the softly whooshing breeze that honestly penetrates through my skin painfully, but for the sake of this moment, I didn't seem to mind it that much.
"Well, yeah but…"
"But, what?"
"If you're going to ask me to talk about it, I can't."
"Ah.. why?"
"I'm just not good at initiating."
"It's okay, I'll ask you questions then. What are you passionate about?"
"Why.. Why are you so persistent? I mean—"
"I understand, don't worry. It's alright, Aslynne. I just.. I want to hear more of you. Can't I?"
I looked at him slightly startled as he said that, seeing how he simply smiled at me while laying his head over his arms on top of his bent up knees. A piece of hair from the top of his head plopped down with the pull of gravity. Suddenly, I felt a bit shy from his explicitly obvious staring, so I quickly nodded in response to his yes-no inquiry and tilted my head front as I looked down to delve in my thoughts. We stayed in silence for a while as I kept myself deep in my thoughts.
"I guess I'm.. passionate about art generally. Although I ended up choosing the category of writing."
"Mm.. I see, when did you discover your passion?"
"I noticed I enjoyed doing art more than other subjects, and I was better at it than other kids in primary school. Actually, I used to enjoy drawing a lot more than writing." I chuckled to myself as I remembered some old, nearly forgotten memories.
"Oh, really? I'd like to see you draw for me someday then," he said enthusiastically, and he seemed rather determined upon his statement.
"Wait, no no. I haven't drawn in such a long time, I've probably lost it already.."
"You'd be surprised. When I was young, I liked to draw, but as I learned the trends, I realized that it was kinda weird I liked to do art, which was supposed to be girls' things, not guys. I was pretty narrow-minded back then, and I didn't draw for—what, 3, 4 years? But once I started doing it again, I managed just fine. "
"Oh, damn. Well I can't really say anything to tha—"
I was stopped as he suddenly leaned forward as his hand approached my face before brushing off a small pile of snowflake on my nose that I didn't realize had been there considering how numb my face felt. It was also due to that, that I realized snow was pouring down, and there began to pile up tiny mountains of snow around us. Suddenly, a wind struck me and I surprised myself. I'd often felt guilty and a bit uncomfortable that I was talking so much, as I had dealt with the hurt of seeing how bored or uninterested people become when I speak. Well, I didn't want to assume and had no intention of assuming Calix was the same, but it happened so much, too much—that it happens naturally, even without my own realization. Except, this time I barely noticed—I barely felt it. More than anything, it felt as if his ears were truly comfortable hearing my voice and receiving my words that often categorized bland.
I observed his expression—I inspected for a facade, yet there was none. I saw Calix smiling softly as he watched me, listened, and I could clearly and visibly see him enjoying our conversation. He had an expression on his face that encouraged, and comforted me to speak, and I couldn't have been any more grateful for that. I could hear his unspoken, "continue, I'm listening."
"Ah, sorry there was a bit of snow on your nose. Did you not feel it?"
"No, everything feels numb."
I lightly giggled as I said that, since although that statement is partially true, the other half is a complete lie with how explosive and full my emotions are.
"Mm, yeah. I could see it, your nose is like Rudolph's nose." He laughed, and I reciprocated.
But a breeze of the cold, and the awareness of the piling snowflakes over our faces made me realize it was time to return. I stood, and offered my hand to Calix who was looking up on me. He took my hand, and expressed his gratitude as I noticed the way his fingers trembled from the cold, similar to mine.
We continued the rest of our walk in silence, yet once we reached our destination I halted before the entrance. It was covered by my long skirt, but my limbs had weakened, and my legs were trembling terribly underneath. I was weak, and extremely tired. It was difficult. Realization wasn't within me for how horribly the cold was attacking me before the damage impacted me all at once. Calix looked back as his eyes were glazed with concern and confusion—he didn't know. I gave him a smile of assurance and forced myself to take a large step and keep walking. It's not that far away, my room. I tried to assure myself, but it was still difficult. Everything was immensely numb, and my body felt almost frozen. As if coated in ice, from head to toe.
I didn't—couldn't say anything to him as we stood alone in the elevator to reach our respective floors. But I still bid him farewell and my gratitude before he left. Finally, once I reached my floor, and my room, I let myself fall on the ground. My head was spinning, and I could feel myself being captured away from my own consciousness. I was always one far more sensitive to the cold than others. Though it was warm now, the cold hadn't left my body, and it was keeping me numb. So I dragged myself over by the bed and pulled my blanket as harshly as I could, with however much strength left in me. Once I succeeded, I immediately wrapped myself whole—head to toe. I closed my eyes, and melted in the warmth.
I kept myself mantled within the heavy warmth that battled the cold which enveloped myself internally for a while, before deciding that I had recovered myself to a good extent, and I returned my blanket over on the bed before heading to the shower, and preparing myself a warm bath. Once the warm water had filled up the tub, I dipped myself inside, before settling myself inside, keeping my body underneath the water that was removing the cold imprint on my body.
While my body rested in the warmth, I felt the cold of my tears flowing down.