The light from the lamp wasn't just bright—it was *
"staring directly into the sun after a long night"* bright.
I shielded my eyes, stumbling over the glass shards still scattered on the floor. When the glare faded,
I blinked up at...
A floating blue man.
No legs.
No pants.
Just a swirling,
misty tail like a special effect from a low-budget movie.
**Me:**
"Holy— You look like a Disneyland cast member who got fired for 'creative differences'!"
You look like a cartoon genie, but... bluer.
The genie grinned, arms crossed.
**"Wow. What an original observation."**
Never heard that one before
His voice was weirdly casual, like a barista explaining why the Wi-Fi's down.
**"Yeah, I'm a genie. Name's Janno. No, I won't sing any musical numbers 'Friend Like Me."**
I gaped. **"You— You know about musicals and Disney?"**
Janno rolled his eyes so hard I worried they'd stick.
**"Dude, it's the 21st century. I've got Wi-Fi in the lamp. Do you know how many K-dramas I've binge-watched while waiting for someone rub blood on me?.You think I just sit around waiting for idiots to summon me?"**
**The Rules (With Extra Sass):**
Janno snapped his fingers.
A glowing scroll unfurled mid-air, written in what looked like Comic Sans.
**"Three wishes. Restrictions:
No love spells—too messy.
No bringing back the dead—I don't do necromancy.
And no wishing for more wishes. HR policy."**
I squinted. **"HR policy?"**
**"Higher-Dimensional Regulations,"** he said, like it was obvious.
**"Anyway, make a wish. Last guy wished for 'endless pizza.' Tragic."**
**Me, a Genius:**
**"Do you… wanna be free?"**
Janno stared.
**"Wow. You *did* watch *Aladdin*. Congrats."**
He floated upside down, checking a holographic smartwatch.
**"Newsflash: Genies aren't 'trapped.' The lamp's a *portal*.
We chill in a pocket dimension with Netflix and snack deliveries.
It's *nice* there."**
*
Then he dropped the bomb.
**"Also, I'm the last genie on Earth. After your wishes, I ascend to godhood—*entry-level* godhood, but still.
Think of it like a promotion from intern to… slightly less disposable intern."**
My brain short-circuited.
"Wait. Gods are *real*?
Like, all of them?
Jesus?
Buddha?
Zeus?"
**"Some real, some myths,"**
Janno shrugged.
It's complicated.
The divine bureaucracy is huge.
I'll probably end up as the God of Minor Conveniences.
Ever prayed for your phone to charge faster?
That's *my* future department.
Inspired by sheer panic and way too much anime, I blurted: I want a system! Like a status panel! With time-stop and unlimited inventory!
Janno choked on nothing.
**"Seriously?!
That's *broken*!That's hax!
He yanked out a flip phone from thin air and speed-dialed someone.
Boss? Yeah, it's me.
Some guy just asked for
*game-breaking* powers…
What?
*Seriously?
**Me:** **"Who was that?"**
**"My Boss. Goddess of Loophole Abuse."** He sighed.
**"She said 'fine' because *'humans asking for money is boring.'*"**
**SNAP.**
A blue screen materialized in front of me, glowing like my future poor life choices:
---
**NAME:** Ron "Average" Heard
**AGE:** 27 (but feels 45)
**ABILITIES:**
• **TIME-STOP:** Freeze everything except yourself. Warning: Does *not* pause buffering.
• **UNLIMITED STORAGE:** Pocket dimension for non-living items. (No hiding pets. They *will* suffocate.)
---
**Me, vibrating:** **"I'm basically a video game protagonist now."**
Janno gave a slow clap.
**"Congrats. You've broken reality. Now, *please* don't wish for a harem next."**
I ignored him, already testing my powers.
With a thought, time froze—the hum of the fridge silenced, a fly mid-buzz turned into a statue. I cackled, swiping Janno's floating donut.
**"This is *awesome*."**
**"Uh-huh,"** Janno deadpanned.
I took a deep breath, suddenly overwhelmed. **"Hey, Janno… let's continue tomorrow. I'm kinda shocked right now."**
Janno smirked. **"Fair. First existential crisis is always free."**
**"Just remember: Every overpowered hero gets a villain eventually. Sleep well, champ."**
With a puff of vanilla-scented smoke, he vanished back into the lamp.
I collapsed onto my couch, my mind racing. Tomorrow, I'd process this properly.
Maybe test the limits of time-stop.
Maybe freak out more.
Maybe rob a bank (kidding… unless?).
For now, I just stared at the ceiling, grinning like an idiot.
Life just got *very* interesting.
---