She returned like thunder.
The silver-haired knight, tall and gleaming like a blade forged in war. She rode into the village square again, her crimson eyes full of fury. Her armored skirt flared as she dismounted, each movement trained and precise.
She snapped. "You! Blasphemous fraud!"
Kyle was halfway through feeding a beetle to the holy chicken.
He sighed without turning. "Let me guess. You had time to think and decided you're still mad."
She charged.
Kyle yelped and rolled sideways behind a barrel. Her sword slammed down where he'd been sitting.
"You're seriously trying this again?" Kyle shouted, crawling behind a stack of baskets.
"You tricked me! You are no god!"
He peeked out. "Correct. We're finally on the same page. Can I go now?"
She didn't answer, she was too busy chanting. Her blade lit with low-tier enchantment, glowing pale gold.
Kyle grabbed the nearest thing, a cooking pan. He braced it like a shield.
CLANG!
She struck. The pan held. Mostly. His wrists did not.
"OW… Okay, time out! This is how people get concussed!"
He stumbled backward, nearly tripping over the holy chicken's shrine. The bird clucked and retreated with a flutter into its coop.
The knight charged again. Her foot caught on a dropped prayer mat.
She fell.
Face-first into the chicken's ceremonial grain bowl.
The village gasped.
Kyle stared.
Then groaned, "This is going to be a whole new scripture, isn't it?"
Lina had already begun writing:
Verse 19: She Who Denied the Flame Was Humbled by His Feathered Justice.
The knight spat out grain, furious. "You—!"
Kyle raised his hands. "Please! Just fight someone else!"
She lunged once more. This time Kyle ducked on instinct, hands flailing.
His finger accidentally brushed the back of her sword arm.
At that exact moment. The wind shifted. A tiny spark from a nearby torch fluttered over and landed on Alya's cape, just enough to smoke, not burn.
She froze.
The villagers screamed.
"He stopped her with a single touch!"
"She smolders from guilt!"
Alya's face twisted. "That wasn't magic. That wasn't even skill!"
Kyle held up his trembling hand like a drunk actor in a drama. "Behold... the flame of pacifism."
She raised her sword again.
DING!
[ Low-level magical aggression detected. Activate Phoenix Shield for 25 BP? ]
[ YES ] [ NO ]
Kyle whispered, "Twenty-five? Fine."
He pressed [ YES ].
A tiny shimmer, barely visible, sparked to life just as her sword came down.
The blade glanced off it just enough for the impact to stagger her, not stop her.
Kyle stumbled, then fell onto his back with a groan.
She looked stunned. Her sword had hit something… divine?
The crowd began kneeling. Again.
One guard dropped his weapon. "He resists punishment with sacred stillness!"
Kyle coughed. "That was gravity."
Lina beamed. "You endure violence with divine grace!"
Kyle muttered, "That was a bruised tailbone."
The knight knelt.
But not in defeat.
In confusion. Embarrassment. And something much worse.
Reverence.
She stared at Kyle with tight lips and wide eyes, sword lowered.
"Your... barrier. It wasn't something my kingdom ever taught. Not divine light. Not standard mana. It felt like—"
"Budget magic," Kyle said, dusting himself off. "Probably on sale."
She didn't hear him.
Or worse… she did, and took it the wrong way.
One of her soldiers stepped forward, kneeling too. "Forgive us, Ember-Bringer. We doubted your flame. Please... grant our kingdom your presence. The Queen must witness your power."
Kyle blinked. "Sorry, no. I have a chicken to feed."
The crowd gasped at his humility.
Lina whispered, "He refuses worldly honor. The mark of a true god."
The knight gritted her teeth. "You saved my life. My squad. You command a power we can't explain. Like it or not, that makes you politically dangerous."
Kyle sputtered. "Wait, dangerous?!"
The knight stood. "If word spreads that we attacked a divine being and lost... do you know what the other kingdoms will do?"
"I dunno," Kyle shrugged. "Send omelets?"
"No!" she snapped. "They'll think our kingdom is weak. Or worse… faithless. You have to come. Just for a formal audience. Help us save face."
Kyle crossed his arms. "Hard pass. I'm busy farming poultry."
DING!
[ New System Quest: Attend Royal Audience ]
[ Reward: 5,000 BP + Access to Noble Favor Subsystem ]
[ YES ] [ Maybe ] [ You have no choice. ]
Kyle hovered his finger over [ Maybe ] then glanced at the villagers. At Lina, glowing with joy. At the chicken, now wearing a small embroidered cape.
Then at Alya. She was biting her lip. Her pride clearly shredded, but her stance... still noble. Still kneeling.
He sighed.
"Fine," Kyle muttered. "But I'm not dressing fancy. And I'm bringing the chicken."
The knight blinked. "What?"
Lina was already singing a hymn.
The villagers packed offerings, eggs, baskets of grain.
A soldier whispered, "Should we build a throne cart for him?"
Kyle raised a hand. "No thrones."
[ New Title Unlocked: Unwilling Dignitary ]
[ Passive: Increases charisma while sulking ]
And so, with a reluctant heart and a chicken under one arm, Kyle was dragged into royal politics by mistake. Again.
***
The journey to the capital began with what Kyle assumed would be a quiet, awkward walk.
It turned out to be a holy procession.
Trumpets made of carved tree bark played off-key hymns. A line of villagers followed, heads bowed, hands raised, chanting about eggs and salvation.
At the front, Kyle rode a wooden cart that creaked under a throne someone had built entirely out of hay, bones, and what looked suspiciously like garlic bread. Sitting beside him on a silk cushion was the Sacred Chicken of Ember's Hope, now wrapped in ceremonial gold cloth, its feathers fluffed like royalty.
The soldiers who once came to arrest him were now escorting the whole event with deadly seriousness.
Kyle stared blankly ahead, letting the cart roll forward.
"This has gotten completely out of hand."
[ Followers +3 ]
[ BP +1 ]
[ Your chicken has been blessed by three children +2 WP ]
He groaned. "Why is the chicken getting more worship points than me?"
The system didn't answer. The chicken did, though. By laying another egg directly into a golden bowl someone had placed beneath it.
Gasps filled the air.
"A second Holy Egg... within a day!"
"A miracle!"
"Make space! Let the blessed yolk breathe!"
Someone waved a feathered fan at the egg.
Kyle leaned toward the bird and whispered, "You do realize they're going to make you pope at this rate, right?"
The chicken clucked and pecked at a seed offered by a worshipper. It was unfazed. Or perhaps quietly plotting a spiritual coup.
Then the system pinged.
[ Farming Subsystem: Online ]
[ New Feature Unlocked: Divine Livestock Management ]
You can now hatch Holy Beasts, bless harvests, or trade chicken products for Divine Currency.
[ Warning: Neglecting your sacred livestock will reduce Worship Points ]
Kyle froze.
"So, I do have to farm now."
The screen blinked again.
[ Additional Quests Available: ]
– Feed the Sacred Chicken (Daily)
– Bless a Holy Egg
– Cleanse the Coop of Impurities
Rewards: +BP, +WP, +Village Loyalty
He pressed his palms against his eyes.
"I didn't reincarnate to play God Simulator: Poultry Edition."
Still, under the careful eyes of everyone, he reached over and gently pet the chicken.
It cooed.
The villagers burst into applause.
"Did you see that?! Divine Affection!"
"A true bond between Flame and Feather!"
Kyle drawled. "This is how cults happen. One egg at a time and soon begin the worse of all, kingdom."
***
Midway through the journey, the procession stopped to camp for the night.
Tents popped up like mushrooms, small fires were lit. Soldiers took turns guarding, while villagers began carving wooden statues of Kyle and worse, his chicken included.
Kyle watched as one artisan proudly unveiled a six-foot sculpture of the Sacred Chicken with wings outstretched and a crown of sunflowers.
The statue of Kyle, meanwhile, stood off to the side, smaller and awkwardly smiling.
He stared at it.
"Why do I look like the chicken's assistant?"
[ Title Considered: Divine Attendant of the Feathered Throne ]
[ NO ] [ ABSOLUTELY NOT ]
He punched [ ABSOLUTELY NOT ].
The silver-haired knight returned. Her lips were no longer sealed. Still, she flinched whenever Kyle spoke.
She bowed stiffly. "Great One... scouts report that the capital prepares a grand welcome for your arrival. Word of your miracles has reached the palace."
"Wonderful," Kyle said, "can't wait to meet whatever royal lunatics run a place named The Holy Kingdom of Light of Blessing."
"There you go, you can said the full name." She twitched. "Also, please refrain from mocking sacred titles."
"You're right. How come I can remember that long name?" he muttered.
Her hand hovered over her sword. Then she noticed the chicken sitting beside him, preening its feathers like an elegant matron.
She dropped to one knee.
"Blessed be the Winged Companion of the Flame-Bringer."
"Oh no…" Kyle gawked. "You too?!"