Min Jiwon—still adjusting to being Rosaria Ellis, Official Saintess of Light and Accidental Hot Mess—was being strangled to death by a corset.
"A little tighter, Lady Saintess," the head maid chirped cheerfully as Rosaria's soul tried to leave her body. "You'll be meeting His Highness soon, after all."
"Mmhph," she replied. Loosely translated: Please tell my ancestors I love them.
Across the room, Riri hovered like a smug fashion critic.
'You look like a divine pastry.'
'I feel like a divine crime scene.'
After two fashion meltdowns (sparkles in unfortunate places), one shoe-throwing incident (her heel broke), and a failed updo that made her resemble a startled poodle, she was finally declared "presentable."
Her reflection showed a girl in soft cream and gold, with loose blonde curls, delicate earrings, and absolutely no clue what she was doing.
She looked stunning.
"Great," she muttered. "Time to meet the royal peacock."
---
The cathedral gardens were, of course, absurdly gorgeous. Blooming roses, white marble pavilions, birds that probably sang in tune—because even wildlife had etiquette here.
At the center of the garden, under a vine-draped canopy, sat the Crown Prince himself.
Lucien Valerius.
Golden hair, silver uniform, posture so straight it could slice diamonds. He was stirring his tea like it owed him money.
Help, Jiwon thought. He's beautiful and terrifying.
She approached with the grace of someone actively trying not to trip. "Good morning, Your—um—Sparklyness."
A pause.
Lucien looked up slowly. One golden eyebrow arched. "Excuse me?"
"I meant—Your Highness," she squeaked. "Sorry. New title adjustment issues. You're very… bright."
Abort mission. Teleport out. Play dead.
He nodded once. "You may sit."
Riri cackled in her head.
'You're off to a phenomenal start.'
---
Rosaria sat down and immediately grabbed the teacup with both hands like a stress toy. The tea was fragrant, delicate, and absolutely wasted on her trembling nerves.
Lucien regarded her in silence for a moment. "I trust your accommodations are satisfactory? If you are not satisfied with the church's arrangements you are always welcomed in the royal palace."
"Oh no need, no need," she said quickly. "The church is being very generous. Very fancy. Lots of… lace. And throw pillows. So many throw pillows. I counted seventeen."
He blinked. "That's… good?"
She dunked a biscuit in her tea.
Lucien froze. So did a nearby maid.
Oh crap. Was that not allowed? She slowly lifted the soggy biscuit, watching it droop in existential shame.
Riri sighed.
'You dunked in front of royalty. Bold move.'
Trying to recover, she smiled brightly. "Delicious! Before I was chosen by the light I grew up in an orphanage so I'm not familiar to high society, I hope your spar—highness won't take offense."
The prince didn't respond. But he did tilt his head, just a little, like he was trying to figure out what species she was.
To make matters worse, her brain-to-mouth filter failed again. "So, do you… sparkle naturally, or is it enchanted?"
Lucien's lips twitched. Just barely. "Excuse me?"
She wanted to disappear. "Please forget I said anything."
---
Just as she was internally planning to fake faint, a new figure stepped into view.
A noblewoman with cascading violet curls, a pale lavender dress, and a face that screamed "I give backhanded compliments for fun."
Rosaria stared before recognizing who it was.
' Ugh, mean girl number 2 had to show up'
'Who now?' riri asked
Rosarias answer came immediately.
'Vivienne Loreaux. Daughter of Count Loreaux. Mean Girl Number Two. Always hovering near Seraphina, the supposed villainess, like a well-dressed mosquito.'
Vivienne didn't speak, but her glance in Rosaria's direction said enough: I already hate you, and we haven't even had scones yet.
Rosaria smiled nervously and returned to sipping her tea in defeat.
---
After an excruciatingly formal twenty minutes, Lucien set down his teacup.
"I've heard much about you, Lady Saintess," he said.
"Oh?" she said. "Only the good parts, I hope?"
"That remains to be seen."
Wow. Charming.
But before she could panic, she heard a soft DING inside her head.
A pink box popped into view, slightly translucent.
---
✨ [New Character Added!]
Name: Crown Prince Lucien Valerius
Love Value: 10/100
Description: Arrogant royal peacock. Might secretly enjoy chaos.
---
Rosaria blinked. Ten points? For what?! I dunked a biscuit and called him sparkly!
Riri hummed.
'Maybe he likes unpredictable girls. Or maybe he's just impressed you didn't pass out. Either way—first point on the board, baby.'
"I look forward to seeing you at the banquet," Lucien said, standing.
"I'll… be there," she replied weakly.
He paused. "Try not to trip. It would be… entertaining."
Then he walked away.
---
As soon as he disappeared behind the hedges, Rosaria let out a wheeze and flopped sideways on the bench like a dying fish.
"That went horribly."
Riri twirled in the air.
'On the contrary. That went perfectly. He remembers you. He's confused by you. You've invaded his brain like glitter. The crown prince is already ised to proper well mannerd young ladies.'
Rosaria side eyed the floating ball of fur "Are you saying I'm not well mannerd?"
Riri cleared her throat 'Uhm, I'm trying to say the crown prince is used to seeing girls chase after him, the same personality with different fonts, you on the other hand is chaotic and unpredictable. It too soon if he find it attractive, but at least it's enough to make him curious, that's a good enough start.'
"Why do I feel like I just passed a royal boss battle on sheer dumb luck?"
'Because you did.'
---
As she stood up to leave, Vivienne, who has been pretending to be mute so far, gave her one last glance. A small, perfect smile curled on her lips.
Rosaria smiled back, with exactly the same energy as someone waving at a bear while slowly backing away.
This world was ridiculous.
But she had survived Tea with the Crown Prince.
Now she just had to survive a ballroom full of nobles, magical shoes, and the next item on her quest list.
No big deal.
Probably.