The portal to the mortal world opened with a sound like a cat meowing into a karaoke mic.
Mimi, wrapped in shimmering illusion-tails and eyeliner sharp enough to kill a goblin, posed dramatically on the threshold.
"I hope he's hot," she whispered. "And tragic. And owns a velvet cape."
"You'll get... at least two of those," Karma-1 replied.
HONK.
And she was gone.
Realm of Arcania-12: The Shattered Veil
The room was dark, the kind of dark that whispered, tragedy lives here.
Candlelight flickered off obsidian stone. Smoke curled from an incense pot in the corner, smelling vaguely of burnt regret. Thunder cracked outside the fortress tower, rattling stained glass windows depicting various dead ancestors.
A half-circle of grim mages chanted in unison.
At the center of the summoning circle stood the target of Mimi's fate: Lord Veyrion Nightshade, Archmage of the Ember Wastes, Slayer of Beasts, Keeper of the Ninth Seal, and 3x Winner of Arcania's Most Brooding Bachelor.
He scowled into the void.
"Another familiar," he muttered. "It better not be a goblin again."
The summoning glyph blazed.
Then—with a POP!—Mimi materialized in a burst of glitter, perfume mist, and a very theatrical "Nya~!"
She landed in a crouch, anime-style. Her frilly soul-transferred outfit shimmered in pink, her twelve illusion tails flicked with mystic flair.
"Behold!" she declared, "It is I—Lady Nyanaria Sparklefluff, reborn!"
Silence.
A single cough echoed from one apprentice.
Veyrion stared. "What in the seven thrones is that."
"Excuse me?" Mimi gasped. "That? I am a certified divine soul-creature with passive charisma, glitter absorption resistance, and tail physics version 3.5."
Veyrion slowly walked around her. "Small. Loud. Very pink."
"And expensive," she added proudly.
"I asked for a wyvern."
Mimi stomped. "You get me! I can claw your enemies and summon emotional support sparkles."
Veyrion narrowed his eyes. "Can you breathe fire?"
"No, but I do emit magical pheromones."
His lip twitched. "Useful... for diplomacy, I suppose."
Mimi opened her mouth to argue, then paused.
Wait.
Did he just accept her?
One Week Later…
Mimi lounged across silk pillows beside Veyrion's war table, licking a magical paw and watching him argue with generals over siege plans.
"No one ever appreciates the tactical value of cuteness," she muttered. "I should lead the flank."
Veyrion absentmindedly reached over and scratched behind her ear.
Her pupils dilated like saucers.
Oh. Oh he pets.
"You have my full strategic support," she purred.
Later that evening, he brought her grilled trout on a golden plate.
The next day? A custom collar enchanted to sing praise poetry whenever she enters a room.
By the third week, she had her own war council seat, pillow included.
When a rival mage insulted her tails during a banquet, Veyrion incinerated him politely.
"Apologies," he said flatly. "He insulted my familiar."
Mimi, sitting in his lap like a smug deity, sipped enchanted milk and sighed contentedly.
"This," she whispered, "is reincarnation done right."
Later That Night she curled on his cloak near the hearth while he studied an ancient tome.
A thunderstorm raged outside the fortress. The flicker of lightning illuminated Veyrion's scarred features as he turned a page.
Mimi watched him for a while, then whispered, "Do you always brood this much?"
He didn't look up. "It's how I breathe."
She blinked slowly. "You're like... emotionally chewy."
His brow raised slightly. "That's a new one."
She stretched. "If you ever die tragically saving me, I will write fanfiction about it."
"I already have," he said.
"Wait—WHAT?!"
Riku was flat on his back in the Bureau lounge, staring at the glitter still stuck in Karma-1's grill.
"That girl left glitter in my spleen," he muttered.
Snicker Dude walked past, balancing three cupcakes and humming the Mimi theme song.
"You survived the Mimi Protocol," Ginger Snap said, dropping a new folder on his chest. "So here's your next disaster."
Riku sat up and read the glowing label.
📄 SOUL FILE: DEREK O'CONNELL🧍 Age: 22🎮 Subtype: Otaku💀 Cause of Death: Crushed by life-sized waifu figurine🎯 Reincarnation Request: "Become a vending machine."
Riku stared.
He opened the folder.
Inside was a sticky note with sparkles on it and a single sentence scrawled in bold crayon:
"Make me a snack god. Preferably in a dungeon. With limited edition chips." — Derek
Riku exhaled. "This job just keeps getting weirder."