By Monday morning, Li Jian had three regrets:
1. Eating the toothpaste pill.
2. Letting a ghost grandpa dictate his weekend.
3. Charging his phone overnight — because it made the ghost grandpa stronger.
⸻
The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the humming.
Not the usual hum of the fridge or power lines, but a low thrum in the air — like the world had been tuned an octave lower.
The second thing he noticed was that his phone was glowing. Brightly. Too brightly.
And then it spoke.
"Ahh… I've absorbed a full cycle of Electric Qi! The lightning essence of this realm is so clean… so stable… so refined! This must be the ninth-tier Thunderwood Essence, yes?"
Li Jian blinked sleepily. "It's a Huahua charger I got from a sale."
"Marvelous artifact."
Elder Sheng Tai floated half-out of the screen, larger now. His ghostly robes rippled with golden veins of current. His beard looked fluffier. His reading glasses had somehow acquired a second lens tier — double the judgment.
He looked like a celestial librarian who'd just discovered caffeine.
"My spirit form has strengthened by 12%! Soon, I shall be able to manifest my alchemical cauldron once more. A true breakthrough!"
Jian rolled over. "Too early for breakthroughs. Come back after breakfast."
"There is no breakfast in the Dao, only fasting and enlightenment!"
"Yeah? Then why are you glowing like you just ate a battery?"
"Because I did. And it was delicious."
⸻
Later that morning, Jian brought the phone with him to school, mostly because he had no choice — and also because if he left it at home, he was 90% sure his rice cooker would explode.
Sheng Tai's voice, thankfully, stayed quiet during homeroom. But as soon as lunch period hit and he pulled out his portable charger, the phone buzzed with excitement.
"Ah… yes. The Portable Lightning Vessel. A spiritual artifact disguised as a 'Power Bank.'"
"Please don't make this weird. I just want to charge my phone and scroll."
"Nonsense! This is a cultivation opportunity!"
Jian looked around the school rooftop — a favorite lunch spot — to make sure no one else was watching. Then he sighed and pulled out the power bank.
The moment the cord connected, a golden surge of Qi-like energy spiraled around the phone.
"Witness, disciple! I am channeling Electric Qi into my core! Behold!"
The screen flashed. A pop-up appeared:
💥 Spiritual Qi Charging… 36%
📈 Vitality Pill Refinement Boost: +10% (Static Affinity Bonus)
🔥 Alchemical Flame Level: Temporary Stage 1 (Bluetooth Ignition Active)
Jian raised an eyebrow. "Are you… unlocking system upgrades through electricity?"
"Your mortal realm's energy networks are a treasure trove! I've calculated that each percent of battery contains roughly 0.73 units of Electric Qi."
"You calculated that?"
"I estimated. Using the Principle of Plugged-In Enlightenment."
"You made that up, didn't you?"
"The Dao is flexible."
⸻
By mid-afternoon, Elder Sheng Tai had fully evolved into what Jian now mentally referred to as "Tech Grandpa Mode."
He had figured out how to control the flashlight function (which he called his "guiding lantern of clarity"), the ringtone volume ("spirit resonance horn"), and even the calculator app ("pill compression equation matrix").
Jian watched as the ghost floated upside-down in front of the camera lens, muttering to himself while occasionally tapping icons with his spectral beard.
"This 'Notes App' shall serve as my new Pill Refinement Journal."
"You don't even have fingers!"
"Then you shall type for me. Henceforth, you are my scribe. Open a new entry."
Jian sighed and pulled out his earbuds.
"Fine. What's the title?"
"Volume I: Treatise on the Harmonization of Alchemical Qi Using Portable Lightning Storage Treasures and Third-Tier Charging Cables."
"…I'm not writing that."
"Make the font bigger. My spiritual eyes are aging."
"You're already dead!"
"Spiritual aging is different! It's metaphorical."
⸻
When Jian got home, Sheng Tai insisted on trying a second alchemy attempt.
"Rice cooker again?"
"No. We've unlocked Level Two. Add the induction stove."
"Fancy."
"This time, we will attempt a Stamina Booster Pill. For your own benefit."
"Because I fell asleep during math?"
"Because your life force flickers like a wet candle in a wind tunnel."
"Wow. Motivational."
The "refining" session involved:
• One rice cooker filled with water.
• One steel pot on low heat.
• Ingredients: green tea powder, leftover cereal, a vitamin gummy, and a slice of lemon.
"Activate the Qi swirl! Pour while chanting!"
"I'm just stirring!"
"In the Dao of Cooking, all stirring is sacred!"
Jian muttered something not sacred at all and added a pinch of sugar.
Fifteen minutes later, the kitchen smelled like someone had tried to bake a matcha donut inside a fish tank.
"Taste it."
"Nope. You first."
"I am incorporeal!"
"…Convenient."
He tried a sip.
His soul briefly left his body, did a U-turn around the fridge, and returned.
"I think my ancestors are suing."
"Excellent. That means it touched your spirit and soul."
⸻
Later that night, Sheng Tai floated gently above Jian's cluttered desk.
"There is something I must ask."
"What now?"
"Your device… sometimes it connects to an invisible force called 'Wi-Fi.' What is this spiritual current?"
Jian looked up from his manga. "It's not spiritual. It's how you get internet."
"But it is invisible… fluctuates depending on placement… requires offerings in the form of money…"
"…I mean, yeah."
"So it is a fickle spirit! One that grants knowledge and distracts the mind with illusion!"
"Sounds about right."
"In my time, we called it the Cloud of Heaven."
"You're accidentally kind of correct."
"We must build an altar to it. Perhaps near the router."
Jian pointed at the glowing box on the shelf. "It already has blinking lights."
"Then it is a spirit beast!"
⸻
At 11:04 PM, just as Jian was finally dozing off, the phone buzzed again but not with a normal message.
But a system pop-up.
🧭 New Quest Unlocked: "Upgrade the Alchemical Circuit!"
🪙 Reward: Unlock [Spirit Mode – Cauldron Manifestation (Lv. 1)]
📢 "Hint: Elder Sheng Tai requires a Qi surge of 88% battery while chanting the Flame Sutra!"
Jian rubbed his eyes.
"…I swear, you're turning into a gacha game."
"I am the reward."
"Then why do you keep yelling at me like a fantasy Siri?"
"Because you keep calling me that!"
They argued until 1:00 AM. Then they fell asleep — one on a futon, the other inside a smartphone, both dreaming of rice cookers and lightning Qi.