Thank goodness I had something prepared. I wanted to think about how the date would go, maybe plan every little detail, but I kept getting distracted. I kept trying to picture how the evening might unfold, how the talking would go, what I would cook first, how she would react. But every time my mind tried to focus, it would drift away. And the reason for that distraction was Selene.
I wanted something private for the two of us. A quiet place where it was just me and Selene while I cooked for her. Somewhere I could breathe around her without the whole world staring at us. I had two options. The first was the Golden Ant Queen's place, but Selene hated her. Understandable, since the Queen tried to kill me. Odd, coming from someone who literally slaughtered me hours ago, but still. The point was that taking Selene there would be a disaster.
So I used my second option. The Maiden Club.
I told the others I needed a private space for a dinner with Selene. They prepared everything immediately. They always do exactly what I say. I am still the president of the club after all. I guess that still means something.
And now here I am, sitting in front of Selene.
She has been staring at me the entire time. Not new. She always looks at me like I am her favorite movie. Tonight she has that same soft smile. I have this feeling she is forcing the smile sometimes, but I can never prove it. She holds it too perfectly, like she trains herself to smile whenever she sees me. Her eyes do not move. They stay on my face even when I try to look away.
Oh Selene, how long will you keep wearing that smile?
I breathed out slowly and tapped the side of my knee to calm myself. "Okay, this is a private dinner between just us," I said. "So could you stop looking at me like that. You are not letting me think straight."
I looked away, shy, trying to avoid her eyes. Her gaze always made my stomach feel strange, like something warm was spreading through it. I took another quiet breath to steady myself.
"You look even more beautiful than you did a minute ago," she said.
She has been saying that a lot lately. I lost count. Every time she says it, her voice stays calm and even. I wondered if she even notices how flustered I get. My eyes drifted around the room, looking for Ice. I can see him even when he is invisible, but I have not seen him at all since this morning when He and Selene left.
"Where is Ice?" I asked.
"Ice is currently unavailable," Selene said.
"Why? Is he out on one of your spying missions or something?"
"No. He is having a time out. He tried to hide things from me, so he is in time out."
She said it calmly, still staring at me. Her expression did not change at all. I felt my shoulders tense a little.
"What does that mean? Why a time out? What did you do to him?" I leaned forward a little. It sounded simple, but with Selene, simple things could be dangerous. I wanted to know if he was okay.
"How are you going to cook me soba, Kisaragi. I am hungry," Selene said.
She changed the topic immediately. She did not want to talk about Ice at all. Her eyes narrowed slightly, telling me she would not answer more questions. She always does this when she wants me to drop something.
Great. Ice was my only hope for cooking soba. He was supposed to guide me through it. But I never had time for him to teach me the steps. I was too busy running around as a merchant. And now he was in time out, somewhere, doing who knows what.
I rubbed my forehead slowly and let out a quiet breath. Now I did not know what to do. Back in my world I would have checked online and watched a video on how to cook soba, or maybe ordered fast food and pretended I cooked it. But none of that existed here.
"Nice setting. I must say, Kisaragi, how did you manage to do all this?" Selene said as she finally stopped looking at me and looked at her surroundings. She noticed how the place was decorated. The candles. The low lights. The table and the soba ingredients and all the items for cooking. Thanks to my cousins the place actually looked perfect.
"I have connections. And good luck," I said as I tried to boast. I liked the fact that she liked it. Or at least I hoped she liked it. I stood a little straighter and cleared my throat. "Cough cough, hum so do you like the settings?" I said. "It is not like I do not want to know or anything. It is just that…"
"I love anything you do, Kisaragi, but you are the one I love more," she said as she stared at me again.
I quickly stood up. My body reacted before my brain. I pretended I was not affected by her romantic way of talking. I looked away and took another soft, careful breath to calm myself.
"Okay then I will begin my cooking. You cooked the last time. It is my turn to cook today," I said as I walked over to the table area. I swear I was acting very awkwardly. My hands did not know where to go. My feet kept stepping in the wrong places. I wished I was invisible. And I could actually do that, but I did not want to tuck myself away like a coward.
I washed my hands, lined up the ingredients, and tried to remember anything Ice showed me before his unexplained time out.
…
Rin finally finished preparing the soba and placed the bowl in front of Selene. Selene had been watching her the entire time. She did not speak once. Her eyes followed Rin, not the ingredients, not the process. Only Rin. Rin could feel the weight of that stare the entire time. She breathed in every few seconds just to keep herself steady.
When Rin set the bowl down, Selene's expression shifted just a little. She stared at it in silence, trying to understand what she was looking at. Rin waited nervously. Her fingers fidgeted behind her back. She swallowed, trying not to look too tense.
"Kisaragi, did you prepare soba or porridge," Selene asked.
The noodles were so overcooked they had turned into a thick paste. Not even chopsticks could lift them. It would need a spoon. Selene hesitated. She did not want to hurt Rin's feelings, so she forced herself to take a taste.
"So how is it, Selene," Rin asked, hoping for at least a small compliment. She leaned forward slightly, holding her breath.
Selene said nothing. She was still fighting the taste. She swallowed hard and reached for her water immediately. She drank the whole cup in one breath.
"When we get married, Ice and I will be doing the cooking, okay," she said as gently as she could.
"I knew it. It tasted bad. Even just looking at it, it is an F. I am a terrible cook. My parents and grandparents spoiled me so much they never even let me near the kitchen," Rin said, feeling miserable. "I am sorry, Selene. This is one of the reasons why I should not be your wife. If you marry me, I will just be a useless responsibility."
Selene shook her head. "Kisaragi, even if you give me poison, I will gladly eat it because it came from you. And also because I am immortal," Selene said, trying to comfort her.
She continued eating the entire bowl, spoonful after spoonful, until nothing was left. Every bite hurt her soul, but she still ate it all so Rin would not be sad. When she finished, she rested her palm on her chest and breathed out slowly. Then she forced a cute smile.
Rin tried to taste her own cooking and spat it out immediately.
"How did you even finish that," she whispered, shocked.
Selene stood up, walked around the table, and sat on Rin's lap. She wrapped her arms around her and rested her head on Rin's shoulder. Rin felt her warmth press softly against her. Rin breathed in and out quietly, trying not to panic from how close Selene was.
"Kisaragi, if the voices are ever too loud to handle, do not ask. Just hug me as much as you want. I will not say a word," Selene whispered before kissing Rin softly. "Since you never want to make the first move tonight, I already did."
She pulled back only slightly.
"Kisaragi, can I ask you a question."
Rin nodded. Her breath was slow and shaky.
"I may not be your first kiss," Selene said quietly, "but can I be your first love?."
Rin stared at her, speechless, unable to form even a single word as her heart pounded in her chest.