The first time I drew something.
I thought I was overflowing with talent.
"Oh my God! Honey, look at what our kid drew!"
"Wait, our son really drew this?"
For my age, I drew a pretty decent picture.
My first drawing was of a skeleton swordsman character that often appeared in TV cartoons. The lines were clean, and despite just being an elementary schooler, I even managed to add a bit of shading.
At a glance, it looked like some professional artist had doodled a fanart for fun. That was the level of praise I got for my very first drawing.
"Wow, this is genius~ He could debut as an artist right now."
"Right? Teacher? Our kid must have talent."
To others, I must have seemed like a prodigy. So naturally, I thought I was super talented.
As soon as I entered middle school, I dove into the path of entrance exam art. I believed this was the only road for me, and that someday I'd become a famous webtoon artist.
But despite that determination, I didn't draw all that diligently—because I had talent.
Unlike the other kids, I was a few steps ahead. And that was true, to an extent. I won a few prizes from school poster contests and stuff. My friends even called me "golden hands."
Looking back, I was arrogant in middle school.
"Hmm... Se-won, you need to work harder."
"With this level, you won't even dream of getting into a university in the capital."
That arrogance was shattered when I moved up to the high school prep class and entered a bigger pond. There were too many people more talented than me.
There was this guy at the art academy who drew a red apple to look exactly like the real thing. Another guy loved anime characters so much he'd draw more than 20 a day. There were also people who went to art high schools and dedicated their entire lives to this.
That art prep world was full of people like that. I only realized this after joining the high school class.
From that point on, I had no choice but to pull myself together. Of course, I got hit hard with self-doubt at first and gave up drawing for about six months… But six months later, I really tried.
I went back to the basics like everyone else: spheres, cylinders, tetrahedrons. I alternated between crappy croquis and copy work, cranking out 13 sheets a day.
Eventually, I got a sense of form. I could understand composition. I truly worked hard in high school.
…But apparently, that just wasn't enough.
"You didn't pass."
"Well, your drawing is really good, but it doesn't quite match the style of our school."
My first try at college entrance exams in senior year was a total failure. I got rejected from every university I applied to, and naturally ended up taking a gap year to try again.
Alright... just one more year. If it still doesn't work out, I'll give up on art school cleanly.
With that in mind, I ran hard once more. This time, I drew like a madman. It was my last shot, so I gave it everything I had.
I rented a tiny one-room place and lived on my own, repeating the routine of sleep – draw – eat – draw. I made up for my lack of funds by working a part-time job on weekends.
But...
"We're really sorry."
"We debated a lot on this."
Still rejected.
That's when I realized. Half-baked talent will never beat the true geniuses. The kids who had been eating, breathing, and drawing since they were little—our XP bars weren't even in the same league. That's when I gave up on art school.
…So what do I do now, you ask?
── I was drawing a nipple.
From flesh-toned to pink, and pink to flesh-toned.
I picked a color somewhere in between and filled it into a circle. It came out as a nice pinkish flesh tone with a moody atmosphere. It blended naturally with the surrounding skin.
Next, I added some highlights. I chose a light source direction and drew thin white lines accordingly. From another person's perspective, it probably looked like a glossy nipple.
With a rough coloring of light and shade, it turned out undeniably erotic. The areola forming from the plump breast was practically the finishing touch—like a painter's final flourish. With a few more touches, the completely nude woman was complete.
"..."
An artist of erotic illustrations.
Someone who helps others "release the bad stuff."
That was my job now. What started as a way to make some pocket money had become my full-time profession.
"Phew, finally done."
After finishing the drawing, I stretched my arms.
Doing this for about a year, I'd gotten pretty good at it.
At first, I was filled with shame every time I drew—but after tasting the money, I could now take on even the weirdest commission requests with a straight face.
Turns out, the money was quite nice.
Thanks to it, I could pay my rent without worry and even indulge in small luxuries.
Like adding string cheese to spicy cup noodles, or setting the air conditioner to 64°F on a hot day… that kind of stuff.
"Save it."
I saved the finished drawing in a folder and pulled down my pants. The day's work was done—now it was time for some happy time.
Given the nature of the job, drawing often built up certain urges.
When that happened, this was how I released them.
"Maybe I'll do some research while I'm at it."
I said that to justify what I was about to do, then visited a certain website. A site whose name started with H. A treasure trove of modern civilization.
Today was a day I was feeling 2D more than 3D. I scrolled down, curious to see what new artwork had been uploaded.
And then, the curse words spilled out.
"…What the f**k?"
Everywhere I looked—flat chests.
Muscular men everywhere, all shirtless.
"What the hell, why are there only gay pics?!"
I scrolled quickly. But no matter how far I went, all I saw were naked men.
When I saw the close-up of a guy's pink nipple, I nearly puked.
"Was the site hacked or something?"
Or maybe some damn perv dumped their One Piece fanart folder?
Whatever it was, it was bulls**t. Thanks to that, my half-erect buddy deflated completely.
My face crumpled up like I'd bitten into a bug.
"Well, it's over."
Realizing today just wasn't my day, I shut off the computer. The mood was completely dead. Even Dionysus would have cancelled the party in disappointment.
How many people suffered because of one damn perv? Not just me and Dionysus, but the millions of other horny souls entering that site with anticipation were let down. The damage was astronomical.
If I find the uploader, I swear I'll kill him.
"Guess I'll go grab a drink."
Thoroughly irritated, I decided to calm my nerves with some booze. Felt like a day for beer and buttered squid.
There was a convenience store near my place, so I quickly got dressed and headed out.
Ding-a-ling
The door chimed as I entered the store.
At the counter stood a female employee. She had medium-length hair down to her shoulders, and a bright, friendly expression.
Yes, a woman. And she totally looked like an extrovert.
Me? Online, I'm a Casanova who peeps at every nude anime girl in existence. But in real life, I'm a total introvert with zero resistance to women. Naturally, there's a giant wall between me and someone like her.
"Ah."
She noticed me and started to greet me.
"Welcome—huh?"
Or at least, she tried to. But upon seeing me, she froze mid-bow. Her eyes were locked on me as if frozen.
'...What the?'
Her strange reaction made me tilt my head in confusion.
Was it the way I looked?
Admittedly, I walked out looking like I hadn't even showered.
Wearing three-striped slippers, shorts, and a tank top half-covered by a hoodie
I looked like a classic basement-dweller loser. Yeah, I guess that's enough to warrant a stare.
"Hello."
The awkward silence made me uncomfortable, so I gave her a quick nod and walked over to the shelves.
Introverts take damage from prolonged exposure to extrovert gazes.
I had to disappear from view before my HP ran out.
'Hmmm, hmm~'
I hummed a tune internally as I began my happy shopping.
First, two cans of beer. Then, buttered squid.
Since I was already buying stuff, I grabbed a bag of chips too. That should be enough to finish both cans of beer.
With my arms full, I headed to the counter.
But the convenience store girl was still staring at me. Her gaze wandered nervously around me. Then, as if she snapped out of it, she quickly bowed and spoke.
"Ah, s-sorry!"
She probably realized it was rude to stare. Her bright expression twisted into embarrassment. You'd think she'd committed some kind of serious crime.
It wasn't that big a deal. I wasn't particularly offended, so I waved it off.
"Ah, no worries. I did kinda head out without even showering, to be honest."
She looked so sorry that I tried to joke about it to lighten the mood. I even gave her a rare awkward smile.
She looked like the kind of person who could handle a light joke like that.
"..."
But I was wrong. She froze again.
Her gaze fixed on my face, unmoving.