When I was in high school, I was quite twisted.
I couldn't help it because my days were so boring back then.
Spending hours each day repeating croquis and copying, and then doing it all over again bylooking at geometric shapes to capture the sense of volume.
I spent hours doing this to improve my skills, but it didn't seem like my abilities were getting any better.
The guys next to me seemed to be improving much faster than I was, which only made me feel worse.
And so, I repeated my daily routine in that mood... It was an environment that was twisted enough to affect my personality.
I was stressed out.
So, at that time, I often thought like this:
Why is that person better than me even though I'm trying so hard?
We clearly practice the same amount, so why is their skill improving faster than mine?
Looking back now, it was a petty jealousy, but back then, that's how I felt.
I needed a place to relieve my stress.
And ironically, my way of relieving stress was by drawing 'cruel pictures.'
I didn't particularly like grotesque things, nor did I draw them with the thought of becoming a profound artist.
Yet, the reason I drew such pictures was simple.
It was because I had a troublemaker's nature inside me.
I drew cruel pictures to show them to others.
Huh? Why does that guy draw well?
Huh? Doesn't that guy get tired of drawing all day?
Huh...? Are they getting angry?
Surprisingly, I went through this thought process at that time, and when I did, I drew pictures of that kind.
Hoping that the other person would feel a bit uncomfortable.
'Ah! My eyes!'
'You bastard! Please just look at it yourself!'
'Hehe.'
Their reactions at that time were quite amusing.
Was this how those kids felt who secretly posted disgusting pictures during the early hours? The worse the other person felt, the better my mood became.
Pleasure is like water in a beaker; to fill it up, you need to steal the other person's emotions.
So, I often drew cruel pictures in high school.
Even if I didn't show them, drawing strange pictures when I was stressed had become a hobby.
As my skills in that kind of drawing improved, I could show even more disgusting pictures.
And that accumulated skill remained with me even now.
"I never thought that would be helpful."
Thanks to that, I can now confidently say:
No one could depict a cross-section better than me.
No one is more knowledgeable about the fluid dynamics of blood than I am!
"Satisfying."
It's already been five days since I changed my nickname to 'Hala.'
During that time, the community was inchaos.
Someone had spammed my drawings in the gallery during the early morning hours. Many people were affected by that indiscriminate attack, and my Pixiv comments were in disarray because of the people who came following the address.
[Hahaha]
[You bastard! You made the gallery a mess because of you!!]
[You draw well for nothing, making the disgust even stronger;]
[I'm really curious, why is there a pure love tag on this picture?]
And the terrorist was me. It was to attract more people.
Of course, if I attach a lot of tags, I can increase the number of views without having to spam-terrorize.
I didn't need to bring up BC and get cursed out like this.
But even so, the reason I did spam promotion...
'I need to see the reaction.'
It was simple. There was no place that gave as straightforward evaluations as that place.
No matter how much I had the memories of 'Lee Se-won,' I couldn't adapt to the reversed world right away. There must have been differences in some minor parts.
I needed to find out that gap. I needed to know that gap to read the demands of the consumer layer.
Gore fan art in that sense.
There was no taste that divided opinions as much as this, so it seemed easy to find the gap.
Look, even now, opinions are being divided in the comments section.
[oh! is so good!!]
[You guys who don't know how to appreciate this, don't you think this is cool?]
[Lol, that organic dildo is super arousing]
Although they are clearly a minority in the overall ratio, there is definitely a consumer base.
Surprisingly, there are people in the world who get turned on by human limbs being cut off.
The first consumer base I needed to target was these people.
'The organux dildo is super arousing... memo.'
I thought so and looked at my follower count.
Currently, my follower count is 150. It's not a large number, but considering that I've only posted 4 pictures, it's a pretty fast growth rate.
In other words, it's going smoothly. As expected, fan art is the way to go.
'The mental damage is a bit strong though...'
Mixing cruelty into male character drawings reduced the damage a bit. But there was nothing I could do about the mental damage.
What I want to draw is not a huge dick but big breasts.
Not being able to draw what I want to draw made me feel like I was back in the college entrance exam period.
This is not good.
'I need to find a way soon.'
Either draw what I want as a hobby or find a compromise where I can satisfy the consumer base while also satisfying myself.
Anyway, I needed a method. Otherwise, my mind would become exhausted.
[This stop is ○○○ station. Those getting off, please use the right door.]
While thinking such thoughts and zoning out, I had arrived at my destination station. I got off the subway with heavy steps.
Now, I was heading to university.
A sigh naturally escaped.
"Sigh..."
I don't want to go.
I don't understand what the classes are about at all, and even getting up in the morning is too tiring.
And damn it, I don't know anyone, so I feel really out of place by myself.
Especially during break time! While other students are chatting and joking around, I'm just fiddling with my phone alone.
I end up feeling self-conscious.
"I really feel like dropping out."
But what can I do? I paid the tuition, so I have to go.
Today's classes are Microeconomics and Economic Statistics.
Both are classes that I don't understand at all.
The only fortunate thing is that other students seem to be as clueless as I am.
Perhaps because it's not a very good university, the students are clearly divided into those who study and those who don't.
Thanks to that, I think I can get at least an average grade just by memorizing to some extent.
"Hey! You should've protected the damage from that part yesterday!"
"How can you tolerate the opponent rolling forward not knowing his place? I can't endure it."
"Anyway, you brat, you're going to treat us to drinks today."
As I entered the classroom, I saw the girls in the back row talking about their 5:5 internal match as usual.
From their conversation, it seemed they had lost to the physical education students again.
'Those girls are always having internal matches.'
I thought to myself as I quietly went to my seat.
Unfortunately, the only remaining seat was near them, so I had no choice but to sit nearby.
As soon as I sat down, I checked my phone.
The current time is 8:43.
It was still early for the professor to come in.
I decided to check my drawings again during this spare time. It's a small joy in everyday life.
Seeing the views increase occasionally made me feel good for some reason.
But since I'm in school, I turned the brightness down to the minimum.
Because it would be troublesome if someone else saw it.
I turned down the brightness so that others couldn't see my phone.
A male college student looking at fan art in the morning at school... wouldn't this be quite a cool point?
I was thinking such silly thoughts as I entered pixiv.
And at that moment when I was about to check the views...
Bang!!!!!!
Suddenly, the door opened and a woman entered.
She had long black hair with a blue tint and was wearing a blue baseball cap. Even though the cap covered part of her face, her slender face shape showed that she was pretty.
"Hey punks! Are the drinks ready for me?"Then the woman walked towards the back seat.
It was where the female college students who had been talking about League of Legends were sitting.
I still couldn't take my eyes off her.
It was because her figure was amazing.
'...Wow.'
Moderately large breasts that weren't excessive, a slim waist, and a pelvis that connected like an hourglass.
Overall, she seemed to have a slender body type, but she had curves in all the right places.
For a moment, I even thought she was a model.
"Ah, come on... open the door gently."
"Hehe, forget that, drinks. I'm going to get everyone's drinks."
I can't take my eyes off her.
Why am I like this... is it because I haven't watched any adult videos lately?
My body refused to look away from the unexpected stimulation.
Especially those Adidas leggings... crazy, coming to school wearing leggings?
Is this possible? Is this really a reversed world of men and women?
The thin nylon leggings clung tightly to her pelvis, blatantly emphasizing her already great figure.
"...Huh?"
Eventually, she noticed my gaze and turned her head.
It was only then that I was able to turn my gaze away.
It's an enormous mass. I thought it was a black hole.
'Did she notice me...?'
To be honest, I did stare quite openly.
Even in a reversed world of men, a gaze filled with desire is something to be cautious about. I hoped she would pass by quietly.
"...?"
Fortunately, she didn't seem to notice and just looked at me for a moment before turning her head away.
"Hey, hurry up with the drinks. Let's go buy them now."
"Ah, okay, I got it. Let's go."
They left the classroom leisurely like that.
I sighed in relief.
'I hope she didn't notice.'
At that time, I didn't know how I would get involved with her.