I died a virgin.
This might not matter much to others. Besides, I was the one who held onto my virginity until the end, and I never had anyone to take it, not even a hot neighbor, cousin, or a stepsister with peculiar tastes. I'll confess, I never had charm with women.
You know the worst part? I died because of a drunk who pushed me onto the subway tracks on my way home from work. I saw the bald, middle-aged bastard, stinking of piss and grinning while he grabbed some chick's ass, and damn, I'm the one whose face got smashed.
Man, if it weren't for the situation right now, I'd be cursing God and half the divinities out there… the situation? Oh, banging someone in a random brothel in the middle of the Imperial City.
This blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman, beautiful as an angel pulled from a Renaissance painting, is lying on the bed right before my eyes with her legs spread wide open. I've never seen her in my life, but I still feel a warmth circulating through my groin and enveloping my best friend.
In other words… yeah, I had to die to lose my V-card.
"Harder, Darius!"
Wow, this really is my moment, even if my name isn't Darius… Wait, what is the Imperial City?
Before I could properly process what was going on in my head, I felt her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me into her breasts. As the incarnate beast I'd just become after more than 20 years of suffering, I seized this chance in the best way possible: I dove in without mercy..
Her moans mixed with the pungent smell of our bodily fluids, throwing me into nothing short of Nirvana. Each thrust redefined my reasons for living, sending delicious shivers through my little head and up my torso, only to reach my brain like a crazy dopamine wave.
I want to do this forever!
Our mating ritual continued for who knows how long, but when I finished, the poor woman was, for lack of a better term, wrecked. I took a deep breath, sitting on the edge of the bed with my best friend tired, but victorious for the first time.
I threw my hair back, standing up with a lightness in my shoulders I don't know if I've ever had in my life… and then for the first time, I had a chance to see myself in the mirror.
Hold on, that's not me.
Looking closer, I noticed several different things. There's a mole below my right eye, purplish irises, short black hair that would make supermodels envious, a slender face. I look like a character straight out of a movie!
Calm down, now that I think about it, why did I think about an Imperial City too…?
"Hah, Darius, that was incredible!"
I turned my head to the side. The lady of the night who helped me was still trembling in bed, waving at me with her hand, seemingly conscious.
"You know, I missed you so much, I thought we'd never see each other again. Today you came with so much desire, more than the other times!"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"What, did you forget, sweetie? My dear Darius always calls me his 'favorite whore' and 'the best lady in the Imperial City.' Honestly, I just wish I knew where you get all that money to pay me so much. Have you been stealing from your father and stepmother? Hehehe, just kidding."
As she snaps her fingers to light a pipe with a flame that appeared out of nowhere, a cascade of memories floods my mind. I am Darius, the bastard son of the Moonlight family, born from an affair between a carpenter and Duke Moonlight.
The reason I'm in the capital is because I was "discovered" by the Duke and dragged here to marry a girl from another noble family, or rather, I'm like a bull on a farm. My father is the farmer who wants to pair me with a cow to have a grandson.
But the name Moonlight... it sounds... familiar... Oh, shit!
"I-I got it! Thanks, Elizia, but I have to go now!"
"Already? No tip?"
"Oh... Alright, but just this once! Don't make that face, you know I can't resist!"
I flick a gold coin with my finger, a very generous tip in this economy.
"Ohh, you really are an angel! I love you, my boy!"
"Yeah, yeah! See ya, Eliza!"
And so, with my clothes practically falling off, I rush out of the room at full speed.
My hair is standing on end and my face is still covered in sweat. Plus, I must reek terribly of a certain kind of flower, but that's not what worries me! No, what truly worries me is if I'm where I think I am!
I look from side to side. I understood that I died and reincarnated, just like hundreds of thousands of webnovels out there; it was as clear as day! The problem is the world I was born into, which is too familiar for me to be mistaken. The name Moonlight also seemed strange when I first heard it, and now I understand why.
I'm in the world of a really shitty story I read in the past called "Sword of The Iron Maiden." Why is it shitty? Simple, the protagonist is an asshole who kills EVERYONE he sees as a villain! Especially the women, those with the coolest designs in the entire work!
Seriously, I couldn't read it to the end because of that. I know a few things here and there, but the main issue is that the protagonist is a psychopathic serial killer without a shred of mercy. The further away I stay from that lunatic, the better!
Now... where am I going again?
Oh, right, the palace. The blessed royal palace, where the Moonlight family is currently staying, but screw that.
I don't want to get near that snake pit right now, especially knowing what awaits me: a cold handshake from the duke, a murderous glare from the stepmother, a fancy banquet where everyone ignores me, and then a carriage to the village of Podunk, where I'll be married to some daughter of a bankrupt baron who chews hay for breakfast.
But then comes the problem: I'm lost. Literally.
The streets of the Imperial City are a maze of alleys, bridges, and narrow lanes with absurd names like "Crimson Hammer Alley" and "Hanged Cinnamon Street." I could've sworn I'd left the red-light district, but apparently, I'm in a neighborhood called "Fourth Ring," which sounds like an erotic toy and sends shivers down my spine for some reason.
"You look lost, handsome sir."
I turn immediately. A fat man with narrow eyes and a greasy mustache is leaning against a stone wall, smoking a cigar the size of my forearm. He's wearing a worn leather vest and a garish green scarf around his neck, staring at me as if he's about to sell me a kidney.
"Just exploring... Getting some fresh air."
"Fresh indeed, huh? With that smell of jasmine and open legs? You just came from Madame Cerise's brothel, I bet."
I don't know who Cerise is, but if she owns the place I just left, I have to commend the decor. That red tapestry with naked nymphs really left an impression on me.
"What's up, I'm busy. Is there a decent tavern around here?"
"There is. But I'll give you a piece of advice, kid: if you are who I think you are... you'd better go back to the palace. The carriage has been waiting for you since sunrise. The Duke doesn't like to repeat orders."
Shit. News travels fast in this city, huh? I had half a dozen thrusts and I'm already the talk of the morning.
"Thanks for the info, but I still have somewhere to go first."
"You're going to meet the Galbraith heiress to walk so freely, are you?"
I freeze, not expecting him to drop that bomb in my chest.
Now that I remember, the Galbraiths are one of the families who were negotiating an alliance with the Moonlights through an arranged marriage.
The detail? Their eldest daughter, Ravenna Galbraith, was about to be tried for "conspiracy against the crown" in the initial arc of "Sword of The Iron Maiden." After all that, the protagonist rips off her head just because she "spoke rudely."
Was Ravenna a villain? Maybe, but I swear being decapitated just for cursing in front of someone is too much. I believe she's also the first on the MC's serial killer list.
"Maybe I am. Where is she being held?"
"What audacity..." The man lets out a laugh. "In the Second Ring prison. But I warn you, if you go there now, you'll probably be locked up until the Duke gets you out."
"Then I hope the handcuffs are silver with a good finish." I take a step to the side, adjust my wrinkled shirt, and flash a roguish smile. "Thanks for the warning, uncle. But I'd rather stick my nose where it doesn't belong than wait for the Duke to use me in an arranged marriage."
With that, I duck into a side alley and disappear from his sight. You know, this world loves to create good villains just to discard them later, so screw it.
If the script is shitty, I'll be shitty too.
If it wants to throw me in the mud instead of the podium, fine, I'll throw the shit at the fan and let it fly everywhere.
I'm going to ensure my own satisfaction. Eat who I want. Do what I want.
Villainesses, villains, heroes, heroines, I don't care. I'm going to do whatever I feel like in this second life!