Ethan stared at the blood slowly pooling near the jagged spikes.
"Okay... okay okay okay okay. That just happened."
His mental voice cracked like a preteen hitting a wrong note in choir. Goop sat next to the corpse, happily absorbing drops of blood like it was strawberry jelly, and Ethan tried not to throw up. Not that he had a stomach. Or a mouth. Or a throat.
Still. The urge to puke was real.
"That was a person," he muttered. "A real person. I mean, sure, he called me 'easy XP' and walked in like he owned the place, but... murder? Am I seriously just... fine with this?"
Goop burbled and did a little wiggle.
"Don't look so proud of yourself, you sentient Jello Cup. You bit him on the ear."
The slime spun happily.
Then another message popped up:
---
[Intruder Defeated!]
[EXP Gained: +15 | Mana Absorbed: +10]
[Core Level Up! ➝ Level 2]
[Level-Up Rewards: +10 Max Mana | Trap Slot +1 | Room Unlock +1]
[Current Mana: 20 / 20]
Ethan blinked.
Or, well, mentally blinked. Which really meant nothing because he had no eyes. Or eyelids.
"Wait. My maximum mana went up? That's new. And weirdly generous."
He checked his status panel again, half-expecting the system to pull a "just kidding" and snatch it back.
---
[Core Status – Ethan]
Rank: -F
Level: 2 (0 / 100 EXP)
Mana: 20 / 20
Mana Regen: 0.3/sec
Trap Slots: 2
Rooms: 1 / 2
Monster Capacity: 1 / 1
---
"Okay... so killing adventurers gets me experience, which levels me up, which gives me more power," he muttered. "I'm literally playing a base-building survival game with perma-death mechanics and I'm the base."
Goop hopped into view, covered in a light smear of adventurer blood. The little slime jiggled excitedly and burbled something that sounded alarmingly close to "bloop-bloop victory."
"Goop, you absolute menace," Ethan said with genuine awe. "You just tackled a guy into the afterlife. I mean, I helped, but still."
Goop bounced again, clearly expecting praise.
"…You are the stickiest MVP I never asked for."
Another system window popped up.
---
[Monster: Goop – Level 2]
HP: 28 / 28
Skills: [Tackle], [Absorb (Weak)], [Squish], [Sticky Hug]
Trait Gained: Sticky Hug – Immobilizes enemies for 3 seconds when Goop successfully clings
Bond Level: 2 (Affectionate Slime)
Emotion: Proud. Craving Praise.
---
"You're seriously asking for a high five after assaulting someone with body hugs?"
Goop spun in a slow circle, content.
"...You know what? Fair enough."
With a deep sigh, Ethan pulled up the system's new build options and stared at the second room slot now unlocked.
---
[Room Expansion Unlocked – Room 2]
[Terrain Options Available:]
Stone Floor (Free)
Mossy Floor (Free)
Cracked Tiles (Free)
[New Trap Available:]
Sticky Slab – Cost: 8 Mana
> Slows and roots intruders for 3–4 seconds.
---
Ethan snorted. "Oh come on. First 'Sticky Hug' and now 'Sticky Slab'? What is this, the Glue Elemental Starter Pack?"
He dragged the room tile to the left of the core room, laid out mossy floor for flavor, and slotted in the Sticky Slab just inside the entrance. Goop was posted right behind it like a loyal gooey bouncer at the world's slimiest nightclub.
"There. Welcome to the Slab Zone," Ethan muttered. "Population: idiots."
Goop jiggled in agreement.
---
[Sticky Hall of Doom created.]
Room 1: Core Room
Room 2: Sticky Hall
Trap Slots Used: 1 / 2
Mana Remaining: 12 / 20
---
A/N: Welcome to Dungeon Design for Dumbasses Vol. 1
Alright, listen up, fellow gremlins. Ethan's dungeon is now officially more than a fancy glowing pebble in a box.
Here's your ultra-serious, highly-professional layout update:
[Entrance Tunnel] ← Where adventurers with bad decision-making skills enter
↓
[Room 2 – Sticky Hall™️] ← Not officially named, but Ethan called it that once and now it's canon. Sorry, lore nerds.
↓
[Room 1 – Core Room] ← Where Ethan lives, panics, and makes fun of everything
Details for the nerds:
Room 1: Core Room
Stone floor. Basic. Depressing. 0 drip.
Floating blue light and one (1) very confused soul crystal.
No traps because Ethan spent his trap budget on murder tiles and regrets.
Room 2: Sticky Hall™️
Mossy floor, because Ethan said "for flavor" and then immediately regretted that sentence.
Has a Sticky Slab trap. Yes, it sounds like something you'd step in at a gas station.
Also includes Goop, the jello warlord, who now attacks people with what can only be described as emotionally violent cuddles.
Important Clarification:
The system didn't name anything. Ethan just made up "Sticky Hall" on the spot like a goblin naming his sword "Stabby." Expect future room names to be equally dumb.
See you in the next chapter, brave adventurers.
Bring boots that aren't allergic to moss.
---
Footsteps echoed again.
Soft. Light. Confident.
Then a voice: "Alright boys, I'm going ahead. If it's clear, we all dive in."
Ethan's core flared nervously.
"Oh no. No no no. Not a team. I just got two rooms and a blob! I'm not ready for teams!"
But only one came into view.
A girl — around his age, maybe seventeen, with short black hair, a chipped dagger at her side, and a scowl that screamed "I get motion sick in VR."
She stepped into the Sticky Hall.
And immediately regretted everything.
SQUELCH.
"What the—? What is this!? My boots!"
Goop launched from behind a rock.
"WHAT IS THAT?!"
[Sticky Hug activated.]
Ethan watched, trying not to laugh as the slime grappled her leg like a clingy child refusing bedtime. She slashed once, twice — hit nothing but goo.
Then she tripped.
And hit her head on the wall.
Hard.
Silence.
Ethan blinked. Then he laughed.
"Wait, wait—that's how she dies? Goop didn't even attack her, she tripped over her own rage and headbutted the wall!"
His laughter echoed through the dungeon, a wheezing soundless giggle like a possessed teapot.
"Oh man... Who the hell dies like that?! I didn't even do anything!"
Goop jiggled proudly next to the unconscious girl, his slime form vibrating like a smug water balloon.
---
[Intruder Defeated!]
[EXP: +20 | Mana Absorbed: +10]
[Core EXP: 20 / 100]
[Goop EXP: +25 – Level Up! ➝ Level 3]
[Bond Level: 3 – Loyal]
"Sticky Slab into Sticky Hug combo… we might've invented the world's dumbest overpowered trap," Ethan whispered, equal parts horrified and proud.
Goop did a small victory dance.
"Okay, Goop, let's get one thing straight," Ethan said, half-chuckling. "I'm the Supreme Dungeon Core. You're my minion. I am the terrifying boss here."
Goop responded by licking the unconscious girl's boot.
"…Right. As I said. You're the boss."
Ethan sighed, looking at the room's dim glow and slightly blood-smeared walls.
It wasn't ideal. He still had no idea what this world was. Why he'd been brought here. What the Supreme System really was. But for now, he had Goop. He had traps. He had a slime-themed murder hallway.
And—he had survived.
"Alright, system," Ethan muttered, voice steadying. "Let's keep this dungeon rolling."