"What's the problem?"
Yamamoto scratched his head innocently. He was just helping them solve the issue.
He wasn't even competing for the right to play the boar. Was it really necessary to be this sensitive?
Hmph!
Daring to glare at me like that—fine. I was originally thinking that if Kamishiro introduced me to a girl, I'd bow down and stand on his side.
But he dared to glare at me!
Fine. Now unless he straight-up introduces me to a girlfriend, I'll never forgive him!
"What's the problem?"
The same question, but this time Iori half-lowered his eyes as he looked at Kamishiro. From the way Kamishiro tried to grab the boar head earlier, he'd figured something out.
This bastard was acting weird—really weird!
Just moments ago he was stressing over costumes. Now that a costume appeared, why was he trying to snatch it?
What was he feeling guilty about?!
Iori felt like he was getting close to the truth.
Wait!
IOU… costume…
Got it!!!
Iori's eyes widened as he stared at Kamishiro like a judge.
"You bastard—were you trying to skim the difference off me?!"
Kamishiro: (;?_?)
"T-that's impossible. You know me, Kitahara. I wouldn't bother making money off such a small amount."
Iori: (???)
"Stop acting. You always tilt your head when you lie—that habit completely gives you away! And a profiteer like you would never miss a chance to make money!"
And it's because I know you so well that I'm certain!
Back when they were kids, he'd always sold him rocks picked up by the river, claiming they were rare treasures… He'd been tricked into filling his room with stones!!!
"Ahem… let's get back to the costume issue. I think that setup is too fake—just a head. Anyone could tell it's a person in disguise… Why are you all looking at me like that?!"
Before Kamishiro could even finish speaking, he realized Kitahara and the others were staring at him like he was an idiot!!!
Unforgivable! When had he ever suffered such humiliation? Normally he was the one giving others that look!
Kohei even stepped up considerately and touched Kamishiro's forehead.
"No fever… so why are you talking nonsense?"
"And you haven't even started drinking yet."
"Heh," Iori said with a teasing smile. "Stop guessing. He's just feeling guilty, that's all~"
"Who are you calling guilty?! I just want to give Shiori the best experience!
That costume I've got—there's no way anyone could tell it's fake!"
Kamishiro declared confidently.
Of course, it was a lie. Kamishiro only ever lied this brazenly when he was selling his own products.
The mascot suit he could borrow clearly wasn't realistic enough to fool anyone—but that didn't matter!
What mattered was scamming Kitahara out of his money first!
Kamishiro continued to coax them.
"Think about it—since we've decided to do this, then of course we should do it properly… Why are you still looking at me like that?!"
(▼皿▼＃)
That "looking at an idiot" expression should never be aimed at him!
Yamamoto: "Well, we didn't really want to look at you like this either."
Kohei: "But your problem is…"
Nojima: "Do you really think there exists a mascot suit that can pass for the real thing?!"
Fujiwara: "That's completely impossible, okay?!"
!!!
Hiss!
Kamishiro sucked in a sharp breath. It had only been a few days—had these people's IQs suddenly gone up?
They could actually think things through now?!
It was just that their experience was still a bit lacking, so their thinking remained rather narrow.
"Of course there is. Haven't you heard about that guy in Japan who spent several million yen dressing himself up as a dog?
I think that one looked pretty convincing."
"..." ×5
The five people who had heard that news all fell silent, staring at Kamishiro with dark lines across their faces.
He… really thought that thing looked like a dog?
And besides—
"You bastard, you actually wanted me to owe millions?!"
Iori was visibly agitated. If he weren't afraid of making too much noise and drawing the attention of Shiori and the others who were still eating inside the restaurant, he would have already rushed forward to take Kamishiro's life.
Even so, he couldn't suppress his emotions and grabbed Kamishiro by the neck, shaking him violently.
"That's millions, you know!!!"
╭(°A°`)╮
"Stop shaking me, stop shaking me! I never said we'd buy that kind. If you keep this up, Shiori and the others are going to notice us."
Hearing this, Iori loosened his grip. Since he wanted to give Shiori a surprise, he really didn't want her to find out.
Otherwise, they wouldn't have deliberately come up with an excuse to come out together to discuss things.
That's right—lunch wasn't over yet. They had just stepped out to discuss a strategy to cheer Shiori up.
As for how to keep Shiori from getting suspicious, of course they had their own method.
And it was one that all of them thought was absolutely foolproof!
—Going to the bathroom!
Boys going to the bathroom together was completely normal.
Sometimes, you didn't even need to feel the urge—just one word, "Let's go," and everyone understood!
Can't pee when you get there?
That was impossible. The urge to pee was like that little gap in the chest—squeeze it a bit, and something would always come out~
"Hmph!"
Iori snorted and released Kamishiro's neck. "Forget it. You profiteering merchant, just give up. There's no way I'm buying costumes from you!
Besides, what's the point of realism if the size doesn't match? Or do you have a way to shrink all of us down?"
"..."
Kamishiro's mouth twitched. Right—he'd been so focused on how realistic the boar costume would be that he'd completely forgotten about the size issue…
Even if there really was an ultra-realistic boar costume, they wouldn't be able to wear it.
If the size didn't match, it wouldn't be a baby boar—it'd be a young adult boar.
And once a boar reaches that age, it's already past its cutest phase. There'd be no point in looking at it at all.
They might even get caught by an overly diligent security guard and sold off to a zoo or circus.
As for shrinking…
He wasn't Doraemon. He didn't have a Shrink Ray. How was he supposed to shrink these guys?
Helpless, Kamishiro finally gave up, sighed, and said, "If that's the case, then there's really nothing we can do. Let's go with what you said and try it first?"
Hearing Kamishiro's seemingly conceding words, Iori's expression instantly turned smug.
Good thing this guy didn't have a tail—otherwise it would've been sticking straight up into the sky by now.
At this moment, Iori was completely immersed in the joy of victory, unable to pull himself out.
He'd finally beaten Kamishiro again! That feeling was just too good!
So good that Iori didn't even want to wake up from it!
Fortunately—
At the critical moment, the fiercely protective "big brother" Kohei snapped Iori back to reality and promptly shoved the boar headgear onto his head!
Boar Man—Kitahara Iori (Simplified Version), has arrived!
"So? How is it?"
Iori's muffled voice came from inside the headgear. Before Kamishiro and the others could answer, he turned his head a bit himself. His field of vision was actually pretty good.
That lottery really was quite generous!
Kamishiro: "Well… something feels a bit off. Kind of weird…"
Nojima: "Could it be because he hasn't fully transformed yet?"
Yamamoto: "Then let him hold this first."
With that, Yamamoto directly took down one of the restaurant's signboards and put it into Iori's hands.
It appeared!
The boar man holding a knife and fork—Kitahara Kohei!
"..."
Kamishiro: "Why does it feel even weirder now?"
Looking at this familiar outfit, Kamishiro couldn't help but think of an anime.
Yamamoto and the others also shook their heads.
"No good."
"I can't explain it, but it's definitely not good."
"Even cheap imitation has its limits."
Kohei complained. As a fellow otaku, he and Kamishiro were clearly thinking of the same anime.
However—
Iori hadn't seen that anime. To be precise, he hadn't watched anime at all, so he completely misunderstood their reactions.
He thought the problem was that he was being too restrained.
Actually, he felt the same way. The moment he put on the headgear, Iori felt something slowly awakening deep within him!
He was a little confused at first, unsure why—until he saw the boar statue not far away.
Since when did animals wear clothes?!
Once he figured that out, Iori felt enlightened and immediately began taking off his clothes right in front of Kamishiro and the others.
Nojima: "Hey, hey, don't take them off yet!"
Yamamoto: "If you keep stripping, something is definitely going to go wrong!"
Kohei: "This seriously crosses a line!"
Kamishiro: "Don't forget what scared the little boar in the first place!"
Fujiwara: "..."
Everyone hurriedly tried to stop Iori.
Whether it was because their words worked or because Iori's conscience suddenly kicked in, he stopped after taking off his shirt.
But…
This look—shirt completely off and tied around his waist, wearing a boar head, holding weapons in both hands—
It somehow matched the image in his head even more.
Kamishiro and Kohei exchanged glances, both seeing huge question marks in each other's eyes.
Did this guy secretly binge-watch anime behind their backs? Otherwise, how was his cosplay this accurate?
This totally counted as cosplay, right…? That casual perfection almost made the two seasoned convention-goers feel a bit insecure.
Even his physique wasn't far off!
After all, this guy was known as the "Land Battle God"—having some muscle and faint abs was perfectly normal.
Honestly, Kamishiro suddenly felt that if Kitahara showed up at a convention dressed like this, tons of girls would line up to take photos with him!
Damn it!
By sheer coincidence, this bastard had stumbled upon the correct way to pick up girls. It was seriously irritating.
The good news was that Iori still hadn't noticed his own charm!
Realizing this, Kamishiro silently swore that he would absolutely never tell Kitahara about his talent for cosplay!
Let this idiot continue being an idiot—that was his true destiny!
Just as Iori stopped moving and Kamishiro was about to ask whether he'd secretly been watching anime—
Something unexpected happened!
Iori, who had been standing there just fine, suddenly got hyped up and leapt out of the alley with his knife and fork!
At the instant he jumped, Kamishiro noticed that Iori's pants were in a half-open state, held together by two stubborn strings tightly tied around his waist.
Kamishiro stared at the scene with a deadpan expression.
So… it wasn't that their words worked, and it wasn't Iori's conscience awakening…
It was just that he couldn't untie his damn waistband!!!
Smack!
Kamishiro slapped his forehead. Kitahara really did manage to do things beyond his imagination every single time.
Because Iori jumped out so suddenly, Kohei and the others didn't have time to react and could only watch helplessly as he leapt into the crowd.
As he jumped, he shouted, "Whatever! Let's try it first!!!"
Boar Rush!!!
{{(°△°; "}}!
"Don't!!!" ×5
Kamishiro and the others shouted in unison. Shiori wasn't here—meaning the only ones Iori could "test" this on were those poor tourists.
The problem was, not all tourists liked boars—especially not a half-naked boar freak wielding a knife and fork!
What kind of terrorist would do something like this?!
They could already imagine how chaotic the scene would become.
Either the crowd would scatter in panic, the police would chase Iori down, and they'd sell him out for the reward—
Or the crowd would go berserk and attack him directly, and the boar man would be done for…
Both outcomes were thrilling in their own way.
Kitahara Iori—a man forever skilled at seeking his own doom!
However, after a while, things didn't seem to go the way they had imagined.
There were no cheers, no screams of terror. It was so quiet, as if Iori had simply evaporated from existence.
Filled with intense brotherly affection (curiosity), the five of them lined up and peeked around the wall to look for Iori.
Well, there was no need to look, really.
Not far from them stood a staff member, staring at them with an unsettlingly gentle smile.