Zayan Woke Up Feeling Suspiciously Normal And That Alone Was A Red Flag Because The System Never Let Him Rest Without Some Kind Of Mental Torture
The Silence Was Too Peaceful No Screaming Alarms No Glitchy Countdowns Just The Soft Hum Of The Fan And A Bird Chirping Outside His Window Like It Didn't Know The Kind Of Life Zayan Was Living
For A Moment He Let Himself Hope Maybe The System Had Finally Crashed Or Gotten Bored Of Him Or Transferred To Someone Who Actually Enjoyed Public Humiliation
Then The Voice Returned Like A Mosquito In His Skull
Good Morning Host Welcome To A New Day Of Awkward Growth Today's Mission Is A Classic Office Prank War Your Target Location Is Malik Textiles Pvt Ltd Fourth Floor Break Room
Zayan Sat Up Slowly Trying Not To Panic
Office Prank What Office I Don't Even Work There
You Do Now Said The System Cheerfully Your Temporary Employment Contract Has Been Digitally Forged You Are Now The New Intern At Malik Textiles Welcome To Corporate Suffering
Before Zayan Could Protest He Found A Cheap Blue Shirt Hanging On His Door With A Paper Tag That Read Property Of Malik Textiles Intern Department Please Wear With Shame
Half An Hour Later He Was Standing Outside A Boring Grey Building Clutching A Fake ID Badge And Wondering If This Was What Rock Bottom Looked Like
The Receptionist Didn't Even Blink When He Walked In Just Pointed Toward The Lift Like She Dealt With Lost Souls Every Day
On The Fourth Floor A Middle Aged Man With A Coffee Stain On His Shirt Greeted Him With A Nod
You Must Be The New Intern Go Sit Near The Fridge Don't Touch My Mug Or You're Fired
Zayan Sat Down At A Desk That Looked Like It Had Been Rejected By A Thrift Store And Waited
The System Buzzed Again
Your Mission Is Simple Initiate A Prank War Without Getting Caught Cause Maximum Chaos Use Tape Balloons Soap And A Live Chicken If Necessary
Zayan Looked Around At The Tired Faces Of Office Workers Typing Away On Ancient Computers And Thought This Might Be The Worst Place To Pull A Prank
But He Was Already Here And Failure Was Not An Option Unless He Wanted To Be Shocked Into A Coma
He Started Small Swapping The Labels On Two Coffee Jars So That Regular Became Decaf And Vice Versa
Then He Unplugged The Air Conditioner Just As The Manager Walked In Wiping His Forehead
Someone Call Maintenance This Place Feels Like A Tandoor
Encouraged By His Early Success Zayan Moved On To Bigger Things
He Placed A Whoopee Cushion On The HR Chair Just Before A Serious Meeting And Taped A Picture Of The Boss's Face Onto A Fan So It Would Spin Around Like A Helicopter Of Disappointment
Laughter Began Spreading Through The Office People Started Whispering About A Mystery Prankster While The Real Intern Sat In The Corner Pretending To Read An Email From HR About Team Building Exercises
Then Things Escalated
The Voice Giggled In His Head Like A Child With Firecrackers
Final Stage Release The Chicken
What Chicken He Whispered Panic Creeping In
The Left Drawer Host Check The Drawer
Zayan Opened The Rusty Drawer And Found A Live Chicken Wearing A Tiny Tie With A Note That Said Cluck Them All
Why Is This Even Here What Kind Of System Stores Chickens In Drawers
The Prank Must Be Completed Within Three Minutes
With The Weight Of Bad Decisions On His Shoulders Zayan Picked Up The Chicken Tiptoed Into The Main Office Area And Let It Loose With A Quiet Whisper
Fly Free My Feathered Brother
The Chicken Took Off With Surprising Speed Knocking Over Mugs Paper Stacks And A Vase That Looked Expensive But Probably Wasn't
People Screamed Some Jumped On Tables One Guy Tried To Catch It With A File Folder Like He Was Playing Cricket With Despair
In The Chaos Zayan Slipped Back To His Desk Sat Down Casually And Sipped Water Like A Man Who Had Done Nothing Wrong In His Entire Life
Mission Completed Said The System With Pride Reward Is A Corporate Survival Guide And A Five Percent Boost In Mischief Statistics
Just As He Thought The Madness Was Over The Real Intern Walked In Carrying A Sandwich And Froze
Who Are You He Asked Frowning
Zayan Blinked Smiled And Replied
I'm You But Better
Security Was Called Minutes Later But By Then Zayan Was Already In The Lift Holding A Chicken Under One Arm And Waving Goodbye To His Brief Career In Office Work
He Walked Home Slowly Wondering If Any Of This Was Real Or If He Had Just Hit His Head Really Hard A Week Ago And Imagined It All In A Coma
The Voice Spoke One Last Time As He Climbed Into Bed
Good Job Host Tomorrow's Mission Involves A Shopping Mall A Karaoke Machine And Three Elderly Judges Prepare Accordingly
Zayan Pulled The Blanket Over His Face And Muttered Into The Darkness
I Miss When My Life Was Boring
But Deep Down He Knew He Wouldn't Trade This Stupid Insane Journey For Anything Else
Because Chaos Had Become His New Normal
And He Was Starting To Get Very Very Good At It
Zayan Woke Up With A Feeling That Something Terrible Was About To Happen But He Couldn't Remember What Until The System's Voice Blasted Into His Brain With The Subtlety Of A Fire Alarm
Good Morning Host Today's Mission Involves Performing Live Karaoke In A Public Mall While Being Judged By Three Random Elderly Individuals Please Ensure Maximum Public Impact Minimum Self Respect And Bonus Points For Passionate Arm Movements
Zayan Rolled Off The Bed Face First Onto The Floor Letting Out A Groan That Could Have Been Mistaken For A Dying Cat He Lay There For A Full Minute Wondering If It Was Too Late To Change His Name Move To Another Country And Start A New Life As A Mango Farmer
But The System Didn't Allow Escapes Or Timeouts Or Even A Decent Breakfast It Just Gave Him A Countdown Clock And A Location Marker Blinking On A Map
Your Performance Slot Is Booked For 2 PM At Galaxy Mall Central Atrium You Have Four Hours To Prepare Your Soul
Zayan Stared At The Ceiling And Muttered
Why Can't You Give Me Missions That Involve Staying Home Watching TV And Not Embarrassing Myself
Because Host Said The Voice Warmly That Would Not Be Character Development
After A Very Long Shower And A Meal That Consisted Of Toast Burnt Beyond Recognition Zayan Dressed In His Least Humiliating Outfit And Practiced Posing In The Mirror Like A Rockstar Only To Realize He Looked Less Like A Pop Idol And More Like A Guy Who Got Lost On His Way To A College Presentation
Still He Left His House With His Head Held High And Anxiety Clawing At His Chest Every Step Toward The Mall Felt Like Marching Into A War Zone Where The Only Weapon He Had Was His Poor Taste In Music
Galaxy Mall Was Crowded As Always People Moving In All Directions Children Screaming Teenagers Laughing Shoppers Fighting Over Sales And In The Center Of It All A Small Stage With Lights Speakers And A Large Glittery Banner That Read Karaoke Showdown Sing It Like You Mean It
Zayan Took A Deep Breath And Walked Toward The Registration Table Where A Girl With Blue Hair And Headphones Greeted Him Without Looking Up
Stage Name She Asked Bored
Zayan Panicked Again And Said Mango King Because Apparently That's His Default When Life Crashes
The Girl Typed It Into Her Tablet Nodded And Pointed At A Plastic Chair Behind The Stage
You're On After The Dancing Uncle Try Not To Break Anything
Zayan Sat Down Hands Clenched Together Heart Pounding He Could Hear The Audience Laughing And Cheering As The Dancing Uncle Did Something That Involved Finger Guns And A Lot Of Hip Movement He Tried To Calm Himself But The System Chose That Moment To Buzz In Again
Song Has Been Selected Host You Will Be Singing I Will Survive The Remix Version With Double Tempo Good Luck
No Please No Why That Song
Because Nothing Screams Resilience Like Singing About Survival In Front Of Strangers While Sweating Through Your Shirt
The Host Called His Name With Way Too Much Energy And The Lights Blasted Into His Face As He Stumbled Onto The Stage
Ladies And Gentlemen Give It Up For Mango King
Zayan Stood There Blinking Like A Confused Owl As The Music Started And His Instinct Took Over He Gripped The Mic Closed His Eyes And Let His Soul Die Quietly Inside As He Sang The First Verse
His Voice Cracked On The First Line He Missed The Beat On The Second And Nearly Dropped The Mic On The Third But Somehow The Crowd Didn't Boo Instead They Laughed A Little Then Cheered A Few Even Started Clapping Along
Encouraged He Began To Move His Hands Channeling Every Bad Talent Show He Had Ever Watched On YouTube He Pointed To The Sky Twirled In A Circle And Added A Sudden Spin That Almost Knocked Over The Mic Stand
The Elderly Judges Sat In The Front Row Watching With Serious Expressions One Had A Notebook The Other Two Just Stared With Eyebrows Raised So High They Could Touch Heaven
As The Chorus Hit Zayan Belted The Lines With So Much Force That A Nearby Kid Dropped His Ice Cream And A Woman In A Saree Whispered Something About Drama Possession
The Second Verse Was Worse He Forgot Half The Lyrics And Started Making Up Lines About Mangoes Falling From Trees And Rising Again Like Heroes Reborn The Crowd Loved It They Thought It Was Part Of The Act
A Group Of Teenagers Pulled Out Their Phones And Started Recording Cheering Mango King Like He Was Some Sort Of Meme Lord Sent From The Internet Gods
Near The End Of The Song Zayan Got On One Knee Pointed Toward The Judges And Sang With Everything He Had Left In His Voice Cracking Screaming Shouting Until The Speakers Gave Out A Loud Pop
Then Silence
For One Second The Mall Was Dead Quiet Everyone Just Staring At Him Covered In Sweat Kneeling Like A Man Who Had Just Fought A Dragon And Lost
Then Came The Applause
Loud Unfiltered Applause Mixed With Whistles And Laughter And A Shout From Someone In The Back Who Yelled I Felt That In My Bones
The Elderly Judges Gave Their Scores
One Held Up A Card That Said Seven Point Five The Other Nodded Thoughtfully And Said He Reminded Me Of My Late Husband During Karaoke Night And The Last One Just Said Emotional Damage Ten Out Of Ten
Zayan Bowed Then Slipped Off The Stage Almost Falling Onto A Display Of Perfume Bottles Before Catching Himself On A Cardboard Standee Of A Shirtless Model
Mission Completed Said The System Reward One Golden Microphone Sticker And A Fifty Percent Increase In Unwanted Fame
Zayan Staggered Out Of The Mall Feeling Like He Had Just Run A Marathon While Being Chased By Clowns
Outside A Stranger Walked Up To Him Phone In Hand
Are You Mango King From Insta That Song Slayed Bro You're Going Viral
He Mumbled Something About Needing Therapy And Kept Walking Ignoring The Notifications That Were Now Exploding In His Mind
By The Time He Got Home He Was Too Tired To Even Take Off His Shoes He Collapsed Onto His Bed Face Down Arms Dangling Off The Sides Like A Puppet With Its Strings Cut
The Voice Returned Softly Almost Kindly
You Were Magnificent Host Tomorrow We Dance In The Streets For Freedom
Zayan Groaned Into His Pillow
If I Have To Sing Dance Or Publicly Melt Down Again I'm Eating My System Chip
The System Replied
Noted But Please Know That Consuming Internal Code May Lead To Explosive Flatulence
Zayan Closed His Eyes And Whispered
I Hate You
The Voice Smiled Inside His Brain
And Yet Here We Are Together Forever
Because The Only Thing Louder Than A Bad Song
Was The Sound Of Chaos Becoming A Lifestyle