Tuesday Evening
Location: Kang Family Kitchen
Kang Joon-Ho returned from the Gold Star with an important mission:
Smuggle the newest vending snack back to Earth.
Why?
Because today's special was:
> [Intergalactic Sour Cream Garlic Puffs]
Side Effect: Makes your voice echo for 3 seconds after each sentence.
He didn't care.
They were delicious. And he was starving.
So, he carefully zipped them in a triple-layer pencil case, hid them inside an old sock, and buried it deep in the veggie drawer of the family fridge.
Flawless plan.
No one would ever—
"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
His mom's scream echoed through the apartment like a banshee on fire.
"WHO PUT A CURSED SNACK IN THE KIMCHI DRAWER?!"
Joon-Ho froze mid-sip of water.
His sister peeked out from her room.
"Oppa," she said slowly. "Did your interstellar vending machine… come to Earth?"
"...Maybe?"
---
Kitchen: Now with Holy Water
His mom held the snack like it was a demon artifact.
"IT GLOWED, JOON-HO!"
"It's limited edition!"
"It whispered to me!"
"That's just the bag crinkling!"
"IT SAID 'EXTRA GARLIC' IN SEVEN LANGUAGES!"
She sprayed it with vinegar. Then tried salt. Then held it over a candle like it was a cursed doll.
"OPPA," Soo-Min said, "be honest. Are you in a cult?"
"I AM THE CULT," he muttered dramatically.
"What?!"
"Nothing."
---
The Next Morning: School, But Worse
Joon-Ho wore sunglasses and a mask.
Not because of a virus.
But because of fame exhaustion.
People still screamed "Banana Milk King!"
Someone tried to boil ramen on his locker.
A girl claimed she saw him "levitate while blinking aggressively."
And then…
She appeared.
So-Ra.
The class president.
Smiling. Holding… a notebook.
Labeled: "Kang Joon-Ho Sus List."
"Good morning," she said sweetly. "Ready for your daily interrogation?"
"Can I say no?"
"You may try. I will ignore it."
---
So-Ra's List of Suspicions
She opened her notebook.
"Point One," she said. "You disappeared for 11 minutes yesterday during lunch. Reappeared smelling like burnt popcorn."
"…Coincidence."
"Point Two: You always come back with mysterious glowing snacks. Snacks that aren't sold anywhere in Korea. Snacks that might bite back."
"They're imported?"
"Point Three," she said, leaning in close, "you hovered in the auditorium, Joon-Ho. You. Hovered."
"That was… wires?"
"There were no wires."
"Then… my soul left my body and came back."
"…That's the most believable thing you've said so far."
She slammed the notebook shut.
"I know you're hiding something. I just don't know if it's criminal, magical, or mildly radioactive."
He sighed. "Can't it be none of those?"
"Nope. I'll find out. Eventually."
---
Later That Day: Fan Gifts Strike Again
Joon-Ho arrived home to find eight boxes stacked in the living room.
Each box labeled:
> TO: Vending Machine Oppa 💛
FROM: DanceKing_Fan1998, BananaMilk4Life, So-Ra_SupportSquad
Contents included:
7 banana milk plushies
3 personalized body pillows (one of them winked)
A drawing of him fighting a dragon with a vending machine gun
His dad stared at the pile.
"Son… are you… an internet celebrity?"
"Technically, it was an accident."
His mom opened one box.
It meowed.
"WHAT IS THIS?!"
"Uh… it might be a snack."
"THIS IS NOT A SNACK, IT'S A PUFFED GARLIC CAT THING!!"
The puffball hissed and tried to lick the wall.
---
System Pop-Up: Too Late to Be Normal
> [Fan Popularity Increased: You are now Level 4 Micro-Idol]
New Unlocked Features:
– Fan Club Management Mode (optional)
– Daily Snack Voting (coming soon)
– Reputation Score Visible to the Public
> Side Quest: Keep your family from learning you own a planet.
Progress: 2%
Danger Level: 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥
Joon-Ho stared at the notification.
"…System, are you trying to ruin my life one snack at a time?"
> Yes.
But stylishly.
---
To Be Continued…