Monday Morning. School Assembly. Gymnasium.
Kang Joon-Ho stood next to the principal, sweating bullets in front of four hundred students, ten teachers, three pigeons stuck in the rafters, and the mayor of the district.
Yes.
THE MAYOR.
Why?
Because someone — most likely the cursed class president — submitted his space dance video to the district's "Youth Inspiration Showcase."
It won.
Not "Best Performance."
Not "Funniest Accident."
No.
It won Most Spiritually Uplifting Use of Interpretive Movement by a Minor.
And now Joon-Ho, teenage part-timer, gold bar collector, and reluctant space dancer, was about to give a speech titled:
"Finding Light Through Unexpected Talent."
---
Five Minutes Earlier…
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" he hissed to the class president backstage.
So-Ra smiled like a cat with diplomatic immunity.
"I told you, you had potential!"
"I was literally flailing because I tripped on a power cord!"
"Art is subjective."
"I was airborne for 45 seconds!!"
"And now you're airborne in society. You're welcome."
---
Back to the Stage
The principal patted Joon-Ho's back.
"You're doing great, son."
"I haven't said anything yet."
"Exactly. No mistakes. Flawless."
The mic squeaked as he stepped forward.
He took a deep breath.
He looked out into the sea of curious students, confused officials, and one man wearing sunglasses inside (possibly a fan).
He adjusted the mic.
And said the first thing that came to mind.
"…Banana milk saved my life."
Silence.
A pencil dropped.
Someone coughed.
One student whispered, "I KNEW it."
He cleared his throat.
"I-I mean… we all go through hard times. Sometimes… you mop floors for minimum wage, and think life is boring."
"Tell it, brother!" a teacher yelled.
"And then one day… you slip. And you dance. Not because you meant to. But because gravity betrays you."
More silence.
He had no idea what he was saying anymore.
"And in that moment… I found freedom. In pain. In rhythm. In… vending machines."
A few students clapped.
The mayor nodded like it was poetry.
"So follow your dreams. Or at least your feet when they trip. Because maybe, just maybe… that's where your talent is hiding."
Standing ovation.
The entire gym erupted in applause.
Someone threw a headband.
The school band played a confused trumpet version of the national anthem.
---
After the Speech
So-Ra grinned. "You've officially leveled up from 'guy who always smells like fish cake' to 'local icon.'"
"I don't want to be an icon."
"Well, good luck with that. You're trending again."
> #BananaMilkSpeech
#VendingMachineWisdom
#DanceLikeYouTrippedButOnPurpose
Joon-Ho checked his phone and nearly choked on air.
> System Notification:
[Stat Boost: +1 Intelligence, +2 Fame, +1 "Public Nonsense Delivery" skill.]
[New Feature Unlocked: "Fan Gift Mailbox" will now appear in your room.]
Warning: Fans may send socks. Lots of socks.
---
Later That Night: Home Once Again
Joon-Ho sat in his room, now filled with:
14 boxes of banana milk
5 hand-knitted hats
3 stuffed dolls labeled "Dance King"
1 suspiciously moving box that he refused to open
He stared at the wall.
Then at the glowing gold bar in his drawer.
Then back at the wall.
"…I need peace. I need noodles."
> [Teleportation Ready: Gold Star]
---
Back on Gold Star
He arrived.
The vending machine glowed warmly in the alien wind.
Today's new item:
> "Cosmic Spicy Corn Ramen: Extra Crunch."
Side effect: May cause minor electrical static.
He slurped it happily, smiling for the first time all day.
"…No fans. No speeches. No dance tributes."
Just him. Gold. Ramen.
Silence.
Until the vending machine beeped.
> [Incoming Message from Fan Club President So-Ra: "Hey! Do vending machines work in space too?👀"]
Joon-Ho dropped his chopsticks.
"HOW?! HOW DID SHE—?!"
> [Side Effect Activated: Static Shock x Earhole]
ZAP!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
---
To Be Continued…