In his seat, Axel sat motionless.
The noise around him blurred into static, laughs, whispers, the dull drone of a lesson. None of it reached him. His mind trapped him in a storm of spiraling thoughts.
T-This can't be real. Just when I was finally getting used to everything!
No, stay calm, take deep breaths Axel. They can't hurt you now.
One breath. Then another. Short, sharp gasps clawed at his lungs as he pressed his forehead into his arms.
I'll be fine.
"Hah, hah, hah." Axel buried his head in his arms.
I'll be fine. I can do it. He repeated.
But the words felt hollow. He couldn't hear properly. Couldn't think. Every breath amplified the noise instead of muting it, and time itself felt like it stretched just to torment him.
Where people still looking at him? Talking, whispering? What are they saying?
When class finally ended, Axel grabbed his things and bolted. He didn't care about his next period. Didn't care about attendance. His mind screamed for safety, and his body obeyed.
He ran. Through the academy halls, past the polished doors and marble walls, until he reached his dorm. His safe place.
The door slammed shut. The lock clicked.
Then he dropped onto the bed.
"Hah... hah... hah..." He breathed raggedly, trying to convince himself that things would feel better in the morning. That he could sleep this off.
So he forced himself into sleep. Anything to stop the noise.
…
Morning came.
But with it came dread.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
He dressed like normal. Moved like normal. But he felt anything but.
Dungeon Ecology.
He made it there without breaking down. But as he approached his usual seat beside Yanin, he saw it, her bag placed neatly where he normally sat.
Without thinking, he reached to move it.
A hand snatched his wrist. The grip was bruising. Cold.
"Don't touch my shit," the girl snapped.
Not Yanin. No, that couldn't be her, but… it was.
The voice was different. The tone was worse.
His brain short-circuited.
No. Not again! Why?! Just WHY?!
Axel tore his wrist free and stumbled out of the room like something had bitten him. His legs barely worked. His heart pounded like a war drum inside his chest.
He collapsed into a secluded hallway corner and curled up, burying his face into his knees like a child hiding from a nightmare.
"Hah... hah... hah... hah..." He gasped, trying desperately to breathe.
WORK, DAMN IT! LET ME BREATHE!
THUMP THUMP THUMP
He couldn't tell what was louder, his heartbeat or his breaths.
I-I'm not some baby. I can get through this. This is nothing. WHY CAN'T I BE CALM?!
Love, I just want to be loved! I deserve kindness. Yes! I deserve happiness.
But…what if I don't? The main character's role is to save the world.
But why should I save a world that has forsaken me?
After who knows how long in silence, Axel heard a voice call out to him.
"Student, are you alright?" A pleasant, feminine voice rang out.
He begrudgingly looked up, his gold eyes meeting green ones.
"P-Professor Livrein?" The sudden interaction cleared his thoughts for a bit.
"Breathe," she whispered, placing a hand lightly on his head. Her fingers threaded through his hair, not intrusively, but with care.
Her other hand rested softly on his stomach, grounding him.
And suddenly, he could breathe.
"Hah... hah..." The tension in his body eased.
For a moment, he just sat there with his eyes closed, taking in the warmth of human touch. Of human care.
Was this what it felt like... to be comforted?
When he finally looked at her, really looked, he saw the only teacher who ever seemed to give a damn. Messy blonde hair, tired but kind eyes, and that foxlike smile that radiated patience.
He sat up slowly.
"Thank you," he said, voice hoarse but sincere.
"You're welcome." She smiled. "Axel Lycan, right? You're one of my students. Why did you run out of class like that?"
"I... I felt overwhelmed," he admitted after a pause. "Everything just... crumbled."
"Are you okay now?" She questioned kindly.
"Yeah, better than ever." Axel gave her an awkward smile, the curves of his lips barely moving however.
Aeris clearly didn't believe him, but a teacher shouldn't pry too deeply into a student's life.
"Will I see you tomorrow in class?"
"...Hopefully." Axel replied.
With that, she left him alone.
And yet... he didn't feel quite as alone.
I can get through this. I always have.
…
One week passed.
Axel didn't sit beside anyone anymore. He didn't try to strike up conversations. He trained on his own, kept his head down, ignored the whispers, ignored the stares.
He didn't approach Landon. Didn't even look at the heroines.
What was the point?
But one morning, something changed.
Axel blinked at his phone, confused.
The date had changed.
It was a week earlier.
The day before everything crumbled.
This sudden back and forth made him feel… nauseous.
Why must God test me like this?