Carrie was right. I did enjoy the chase. The thrill of knowing that every time I left the house or came back from school, he would be there. What wasn't thrilling, though, was trying to avoid him.
I've now learned there's a vast difference between saying you'll do something and actually doing it. Especially when he suddenly decided to start using my number. He would text asking how I was doing, if my neck was okay, if I was still up to the tour I promised him. And I fought the urge to text him back. I mean, there was no harm in replying right? Afterall, this was him reaching out. Not in the way I wanted but still...instead I opted to reply to the last one
Me:Hey, Nick. My neck is fine, I'm fine, just really busy. Like, a lot busy. How about I ask Jay to show you around? He loves hearing himself talk.
I watched the little typing dots bounce like they were playing hula hoop… only for them to stop and start again. This went on for like ten seconds before it stopped and disappeared.
I could not help but wonder if he was mad at me. I let out a sharp exhale, feeling the frustration gnaw at me. I was my own enemy like always. What would happen anyway if he asked me out or asked to date me. Would I even say yes to that?
"You know, if you sigh one more time, I will strangle you," Tanya's voice yanked me back to the present.
"I am not sighing," I argued.
"And it's totally raining cats and dogs," she shot back sarcastically. I stuck my tongue out at her.
"So, how's the dreamy guy? Is he the one texting you?" she asked, craning her neck to peek at my phone, blatantly.
"You're so nosy." I glared at her. "And why do you assume it's a man, exactly?"
Tanya smirked. "Only a man could make you stare at a message like that, and what I've heard he like calling you beautiful." Lizzy was the first thought that came to my mind. She and Tanya of course were close.
I rolled my eyes, but before I could say anything, Tanya grinned.
"You know I can call you beautiful whenever you want, right, beautiful?" she said, leaning in and batting her eyelashes, her face splitting into a Cheshire cat grin.
I shot her a glare.
"No?" she teased. "I don't make your heart skip a beat?"
That earned her stinky look, but Tanya just burst out laughing. "Now, now. This is me showing you affection, so don't get all wounded, okay, beautiful?"
I found myself chuckling at her theatrics and teasings. Tanya was always a sunshine to be around.
"You're insane," I muttered, shaking my head as I slipped my phone into my pocket.
"And proudly wearing it for the world to see," Tanya declared, like being called crazy was some kind of badge of honor.
"Now, I suppose you won't be signing up for VallaeBeau?" she asked all the traces of teasing vanishing from her face.
"The what now?" I asked, completely lost.
"Oh my! Aren't you the most misinformed person on campus?" Tanya gasped. "I figured you'd notice everything with those sharp little eyes of yours behind the camera."
"Now you're making me sound like a paparazzi." I scowled. "Please don't tell me this has something to do with—"
"Okay, okay, okay, Miss I-Despise-Valentine's-Day," Tanya cut me off, rolling her eyes. "Even a blind person can hear the venom in your voice when you say the word."
She took out her tablet, turned to show me a purple and pink app with the name ValleuBeau on it. She pressed it and started scrolling through various profiles. "It's basically a dating app for students. It matches people based on interests and activities around campus. I think it's a brilliant idea for the holiday season. No?"
"First, don't refer this as 'holiday season'." Tanya snorted on my comment. "Second... I think it's...Creative," I shrugged, catching Tanya by surprise. I know she was waiting for some sarcastic comment, but even I knew when something was worth a praise.
We were in the post-production room; a vast space filled with high-end equipment. Tanya and I were putting the finishing touches on the film we had been working on for months, while the rest of the team had stepped out for lunch.
"The app isn't free?" I asked, mildly intrigued.
"Nope," Tanya confirmed. "It's run by students majoring in digital marketing. You pay a registration fee to upload your photo, and matches are based on attractiveness. If someone wants to connect with you, they have to pay too."
I raised a brow. "And let me guess—the app was developed by the IT department?" meaning Sivia's was on it.
Tanya grimace. So, it was true.
With the day was finally over, Tanya and I went our separate ways. I checked my phone, hoping—stupidly—for another text from Nick but there was nothing. My stomach dropped in disappointment.
Shoving it down, I decided to clear my head with a walk around campus, camera in hand. Photography had always been my escape—a way to lose myself in fleeting moments, to capture emotions that might otherwise slip away.
There was something almost magical about it. A couple sharing a quiet kiss. Friends laughing as they strolled past. Strangers lounging on the grass, sipping their drinks without a care in the world.
Each shot made me feel lighter.
But then, in my attempt to capture a bird landing on a branch, my camera lens betrayed me. It zoomed in on a face I'd rather never see again. Even if he was the last person on earth. My hands went numb. My breath caught. For a few suffocating seconds, the world seemed to have stopped.
Then, slowly, too slowly, I lowered my camera only to come face to face with him.
From a distance, his presence had been enough to wreck me. But now, with him mere steps away, I didn't how to feel. His gaze locked onto mine as if he had something to say. As if he had the right. I felt an old, familiar fear claw at my throat.
No.
I would not break. Not here. Not in front of him. He had already stolen too much. I wouldn't let him continue to take this too.
I fought to steady my breathing, to ground myself. My mind screamed at my body to move, to run but until when? I just need a moment. Just one moment to hold myself together.
'I have a gift for you...'
The past threatened to claw its way back. the voices, the mocking laughter, the memories I fought so hard to bury. My grip on the camera tightened as if it were the only thing anchoring me to the present. I just needed a few more minutes.
Just hold on.
I forced myself to focus, to grasp onto anything that could stop the panic from consuming me. Something—anything...
'I prefer beautiful; it suits you.'
'You think I'm handsome?'
'No need to be shy.'
'I love wild cats.'
'Do you want me to be your boyfriend?'
And just like that, the storm in my mind began to settle.
You'll be fine, right? Nick's voice echoed in my head, and that's all I needed for my head to clear. I took a slow, shaky breath and faced him head on.
"Hi, um, can we... can we talk?" He finally spoke, and I felt my ear prickle at how his voice was still the same. His tone was soft, careful, almost considerate. Always considerate. But I knew better. He was no prince charming.
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to meet his gaze. "You're already talking." My voice was steady, sharp that surprised even me. "And just to answer—no." with that I turned to leave. But he was quicker. My skin crawled when he wrapped his hand around my arm, holding me back
One look at him had him releasing me instantly, stepping back as if burned.
"The last I remember, you weren't supposed to come within fifty feet of me," I said, my tone cold.
"Um, about that... the time is up, so I—"
"We can always fix that. One call to my father—"
"I didn't mean it like that. I—"
"Do I look like I care what you mean?" I cut in, my words slicing through whatever excuse he was about to offer. "Do I look like I care about your existence?"
Silence.
"Do us both a favor and stay out of my way," I continued, turning on my heel. "Next time, I won't be this civil."
And with that, I walked away.
My heart pounded so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest. Three years—three years—since I had last spoken to him, and yet, somehow, he still thought he had a right to my time. The shock on his face was like a satisfying prize for holding my ground and not allowing him to see how much his presence still affected me.
A slow, unexpected smile crept onto my lips as I reached the gate. I could not help buzzing coursing in my blood at this small victory.