The walk back to the room was slow and painful. The night guard patrolled every two hours, and since they had already made one round, the corridor would be empty for the next two hours. Despite knowing this, Joo-hyun couldn't use his powers because he no longer had a guide. There was no room for indulgence.
Without even crutches, Joo-hyun was slowly walking, leaning against the wall. Before he realised it, he found himself standing not in front of his room, but in front of the lounge. To be precise, he was standing in front of the public phone attached to the lounge corridor wall.
The hesitation was surprisingly brief. Joo-hyun picked up the receiver with his bandaged hand and stared down the hallway, hoping the guard wouldn't discover him.
Of course, there was no guard. Joo-hyun dialled a very familiar number slowly. This was the first time he had called Cha In-ho since the latter had left the hospital. Despite knowing there was a high chance he wouldn't answer, a sliver of hope persisted.
Joo-hyun twisted the phone cord with his free hand and bit his lip until he tasted blood, eventually letting out a sigh. The longer the dial tone went on, the colder the heat in his chest became.
"Beep, after the tone, please leave a message."
He knew this would happen, yet he felt a crushing sense of defeat. He scolded himself for feeling this way. The cold grey floor made his feet ache.
"...Hey."
How awkward his voice sounded. With a bit of embarrassment, he hunched his shoulders and gathered the courage to continue.
"You said I didn't value my life, right?"
Cha In-ho was the first person to say this in anger, not as a passing remark like his colleagues in Block C. Joo-hyun leaned his shoulder against the grey wall, struggling to remain on his feet.
"You were right. No one would cry if I died, and no one would laugh if I lived. Even I don't care about my own death. It's so insignificant that I never learnt to value my own life."
Sometimes, he went on missions intending to die. The world that hated him so much never granted his wish.
"But Cha In-ho..."
Joo-hyun had seen his tears. He had seen Cha In-ho holding him, covered in blood, crying like a child. He thought again how good it would have been if he had died then, hearing In-ho's weeping and dying in his warm arms.
That chance was gone now. Cha In-ho had left forever, and he would never again receive such tender mourning.
Once was enough. With his eyes closed, Joo-hyun slowly curled his lips into a faint smile.
"Thank you for everything. I hope you get matched with a better esper."
The receiver clattered back into place. Standing in the corridor filled with silence and darkness, Joo-hyun tried to forget the now-useless number. It didn't work, but he would keep trying until he succeeded. Maybe someday.
* * *
A runaway esper always caused casualties and property damage. Thus, an esper who survived a runaway episode must dedicate their life to paying for their crimes. Lying in bed because of injuries was not an option.
"How long can we wait when he keeps saying he can't come because of some circumstances?"
The staff member grumbled, his expression twisted in frustration, while Joo-hyun walked silently, staring at the floor.
"I knew it wouldn't last long when they said he'd be matched with a runaway esper. He looked like a pampered pretty boy."
The self-congratulatory staff member grabbed Joo-hyun, who was lagging behind without crutches. Joo-hyun stumbled but didn't fall, clenching his teeth. The staff member chuckled, lightly tapping Joo-hyun's cheek.
"Are you going to snap out of it? You don't have that esteemed matching guide anymore. One more glare from you, and who knows what kind of guide you'll get next?"
Currently, Joo-hyun was on his way to meet a guide to heal his injuries. As before Cha In-ho came, a criminal under community service order would be waiting in the guiding room.
"If you understand, lower your gaze and follow quickly."
With no energy to resist the voice that mixed threats and amusement, Joo-hyun moved his legs a bit faster.
His still-healing hands were forced behind his back, bound by handcuffs, causing pain from his fingers to his arms. Due to lack of proper guiding, his recovery was slow, and his broken ribs hadn't healed, making every breath a sharp pain.
Hoping the guide wasn't rough enough to handle a bandaged patient carelessly, Joo-hyun slowly entered the guiding room.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Joo-hyun reflexively squinted at the face he saw immediately. The staff member ignored him, shoved him hard, and closed the door. The man sitting on the bed in the corner of the room grinned.
Cha In-ho had never sat on the bed. Dismissing the sudden thought, Joo-hyun slowly approached the guide.
"Do you know how much I missed you when I heard you got a matching guide?"
Suppressing the nausea rising from the touch on his cheek, Joo-hyun, as always, endured it with a blank expression, subtly moving his face.
Slap! The thick hand struck Joo-hyun's cheek hard. With a single blow, blood vessels burst, and a nosebleed trickled down his philtrum.
"I told you not to dodge. Do I need to teach you from scratch again?"
His cuffed hands clenched into fists. Joo-hyun, who could kill the man in front of him without lifting a finger, slowly shook his head. The man, examining Joo-hyun appraisingly, smiled and pointed between his legs.
"Come here."
Understanding immediately what he was commanded to do from past experiences, Joo-hyun bit his tongue and approached.
"Sit down."
He had no right to refuse. In the guiding room, no one would intervene until the pager was pressed. Knowing that hesitating would only prolong the painful time, Joo-hyun slowly knelt.
Pain shot through his broken leg. He broke into a cold sweat but didn't show any pain, knowing it would only please the man. He dug his nails into his palm and endured.
"So, how was Cha In-ho? Is he as good in bed as he is on TV?"
Joo-hyun didn't answer. If he said that Cha In-ho didn't do such things, the man would surely hurl even more humiliating insults. Instead, he intended to silence the man by burying his face between his legs.
Satisfied, the man laughed, pulling Joo-hyun's hair.
"Do you know how angry I was when I saw you on TV? Who kept you alive despite guiding deficiencies?"
There was no need to tell him there were many other guides besides him. Joo-hyun quietly closed his eyes and opened his mouth. He faintly heard the sound of the door opening but couldn't confirm due to the hand pressing his head down.
"That bastard tried to steal what's mine."
"Why do you think he's yours?"
Amidst the man's coarse and rough voice, a pleasing yet firm voice intervened. Suddenly, there was a thud, and Joo-hyun was released from the hot, heavy hand.
"Who the hell are you?!"
The man, not noticing someone had entered, clutched his swollen cheek and stood up abruptly.
Still dripping blood from his nose, Joo-hyun looked up and saw the face of Cha In-ho, realising what he looked like when truly angry. His eyes, distorted with fury, glared at the man. The fierce aura made the man hesitate despite his initial aggression.
"I asked why my matching esper is yours."
Cha In-ho's voice growled like a beast. That voice, which frightened the man, brought Joo-hyun a deep sense of relief. His matching guide took a step closer, as if to protect him.
Joo-hyun knew he was much stronger than Cha In-ho. Yet, he couldn't understand why he felt safe behind him.
"Matching esper? That's ridiculous! You're just using him temporarily until you throw him away anyway, pretending-"
The man didn't finish his sentence. Cha In-ho grabbed him by the collar, dragged him to the door, and threw him out into the hallway. Despite his size, the man tumbled across the floor.
Click. Cha In-ho locked the door before the man could get up. Ignoring the pounding and curses from outside, he finally turned around.
Joo-hyun flinched, and their eyes met in mid-air.
"..."
"..."
"Ha..."
Cha In-ho let out a long sigh as he looked over Joo-hyun's bloody philtrum, swollen cheek, and bandaged body. Quickly approaching, he knelt before Joo-hyun.
"What am I going to do with you?"
Pulling out a handkerchief, he gently wiped away Joo-hyun's nosebleed. Joo-hyun opened his mouth but found no words and remained silent.
"You cause trouble whether I'm here or not. Can't you live without getting hurt?"
For some reason, Cha In-ho meticulously wiped his lips more thoroughly than his dried philtrum. He then gently caressed Joo-hyun's cheek, soothing the pain with his guiding.
It had only been a few days, but it felt like a long time since he had felt this warmth. Joo-hyun instinctively closed his eyes and leaned into the palm. The hand hesitated before cupping his face. Fingers brushed his earlobe, and a thumb tapped near his lips.