They say that when you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. Its almost as if you relive it all in a sick sort of way. Scientists believe that when this happens, it takes about 7 minutes for you to relive your entire life. Mine didn't even feel like 7 minutes. As I was laying there, on the carpet floor, choking on a large piece of chocolate my fat-ass thought I could swallow, my entire life flashed before my eyes.
Except, there was nothing. My life hadn't amounted to much, I had barely graduated High School, and was about to go into a career that I only chose because of the money. I didn't care about success or fame or power, I just cared for the money. I enjoyed my simple life of mediocrity. However, I paid for it. I paid for it in my time, my studies, one good friend and no girlfriend. However, I still remembered the entire day that had led up to this moment.
My alarm blared its annoying incessant sound, and I groaned awake. Rubbing my eyes and looking around my bright room. It was quiet and I could hear a bird chirping outside. I hated its chirping. I quickly got up and put on a baggy white shirt. Heading right outside my room, I looked around and realized I was completely and utterly alone. I smiled, and walked over to the pantry. I hadn't gone to the gym in months, and it was starting to show. As I was about to pour my bowl of cereal, I felt my small belly hit against the counter, I felt its small blubber against the cold counter. I groaned, It was summer and I just wanted to take a break from it all.
"Dammit, guess it couldn't hurt to drive over to the gym later" I told myself.
I poured my bowl of cereal and quickly sat down at my computer and watched a bit of YouTube. As I ate, I pondered what I should do. Should I apply for jobs, maybe go outside...nah. For as much as my family enjoyed calling me a Hermit, It was nice having solitude. Everyone loves some peace and quiet by themselves. Even Superman himself, his house is literally called the Fortress of Solitude.
I chuckled to myself, thinking I was clever for making such a basic joke.
I got up after finishing my cereal and put it in the sink. Turning around I looked back at the pantry.
"Mmmmm, one piece couldn't hurt" I smirked deviously.
I walked over and grabbed a piece of chocolate from the pantry. As I walked back into my room, I threw my piece of chocolate up in the air and it landed perfectly into my mouth. Too perfectly. I felt my entire throat suddenly close up. I quickly tried to breath, but it was no use. I began to panic.
"Hhhhhg Uuhhhh, Hhhhrrrggg Uhhhh"
I was struggling to get air into my lungs, I collapsed on the floor and held my throat.
"Is this it...Do I die this pathetically?" I told myself.
As I grabbed for the carpet, the world itself began to go dark. I began to feel calm and I slowly began to relax. I felt Euphoric, what on earth was I feeling? As the world began to fully go dark around me, I let go of the carpet and completely closed my eyes.
But then...
I heard the whooshing of wind...
I suddenly felt my throat, it felt clear. I took a deep long breath and laid there.
"Heh...Ha...Hahaha" I laughed to myself.
"Oh man, some sick nightmare" I said aloud.
I suddenly felt something beside me, It didnt feel like my bedsheets to me. As I gently opened my eyes, it was bright as usual. Something was off however, the bird, the bird wasn't chirping. As I slowly sat up, I saw the most beautiful clear blue sky I had ever seen. The air smelled clean, very clean. As I gently got up, I looked around and found myself in a clear green field.
"Where the hell am I, is this...a dream within a dream?" I wondered.
I began looking around, It was a massive field, but out in the distance, forests surrounded me. Everything felt so serene. So perfect.
"Am I in heaven?" I said to no-one.
Suddenly I heard the sound of a horse galloping. I turned around and saw a large horse heading straight for me. I felt too shocked to move, I saw a hooded person riding atop, their face completely obscured by the massive hood covering them. I slowly raised my arm and waved.
"H-hello!!!"
The person on horseback raised their arm. I smiled and thought they were waving back. When I squinted however, I saw that they put their hand behind their back and unsheathed a sword.
"W-what the hell!!!" I yelled out.
I quickly began to run the opposite direction. I ran as fast as I possibly could. There was nowhere to run, being in the middle of a field made me the only target.
"Dammit" I told myself. "What on earth is going ON !!!!
The galloping got closer and closer. I knew I wasn't going to be able to outrun it, so I stopped in my tracks and turned around. The horse caught up immediately, stopping a few feet away from me. The hooded figure got off the horse and began to walk up to me. I felt like I was going to pass out. My feet felt like noodles and I suddenly felt light headed.
The hooded figure walked straight up to me, I could see their burning red eyes. They raised their sword up to my chest.
"H-hey, um...you wouldn't happen to know if this is heaven or hell right?
The figure groaned in annoyance. Suddenly, with lightning speed, my baggy white shirt was slashed right off me, revealing my somewhat hairy chest. My jaw dropped to the floor. What in the Diddy Flash was that?!?
"Um what the HELL!!" I yelled in anger. "JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO RIP OFF MY SHIRT LIKE THAT"
The hooded figure suddenly lifted their hood and released their large fur jacket, both falling to the ground behind them. I looked and saw the hottest woman imaginable! She wore large boots, dirty with mud. A large baggy brown skirt that lead up to her tight leather tunic, a tunic that was barely able to contain the size of her MASSIVE BREASTS.
"Gulp" I stared.
"HEY, EYES UP HERE" She exclaimed. Pointing her sword at my throat. I shook and stood frozen in place. I looked at her face, her beautiful clear skin and silky long red bangs. Her red eyes flared with power and fury.
"You-You're a man" She stated.
"uhh...duh" I snapped back.
She stood silent for a moment and then stated:
"My name is Reina Bloodwater, and with the power bestowed by the Queen of the Bosomir, you will be taken to the great and powerful Queendom Bosomir as a political prisoner!"
"W-what, Why!!!!, I haven't done anything wrong!!" I yelled back.
Suddenly, she threw her sword in the air, and as I stared up in shock, I didnt notice her charge up her roundhouse kick and I felt her boot slam into my face, knocking me down cold. As she stood over me, she began to talk, but I could not hear her. My ears were ringing and the last thing I saw was her large voluptuous breasts bobbing in her tunic.
"Well, I think I'm in heaven, and the beautiful pearly gates are bobbing in front of me" I stated before I passed out.