MAHIRA
After nearly losing my babies, I spent a couple of weeks in the hospital recovering. Mom finally gave me a break and accepted the twins. She didn't fight with Elena. Thane's family came to the hospital, well after coming from America two days later and they were by my side 24/7. No, I wasn't considering forgiving Thane. He chose the army over us.
Kaashvi came to the hospital perhaps a couple of hours after I was cut into two. Exaggeration much that shit hurts like hell. As soon as I recover I'm going to freeze my eggs, I'm never and I mean never getting pregnant ever again.
My baby boys were just enough, and most importantly, protection is important, ultra important.
News of me giving birth was all over social media, I'm pretty sure journalists were lined up outside waiting to bombard me with questions.
Well, labour was shit, pregnancy was shit, I hope motherhood won't be shitty as well I mean common.
Elena was sitting on a sofa further away from my bed. Today was the day we finally gave names to my kids. Apparently I needed the whole family for that. I couldn't refuse them so I had to agree.
If it was my choice I would have named my kids alone because I went through pregnancy alone and was crying in labor alone so I had all rights to name my kid alone.
Well I didn't find Kaashvi giving a name and Elena too, everyone else was just extra baggage.
Okay maybe im being a little mean but lets blame it on post natal side effects.
Kaashvi and my Alf came in, each holding one of my sons. They came and sat next to me on the chairs beside my bed. Elena excitedly got off the sofa and came running to their side. She smiled as she peeked over looking at one of the boys.
I held my new born twins in my arms for the first time ever since they were introduced to this world. They were so small, so cute, so fragile, I was afraid they would break if they fell.
Dr Smith, 'congratulations Mahira! You have two handsome babies. They're warriors just like their mother.'
'Your dream finally came true. They don't have your skin color. Cheers to white babies.'
'Is that you teasing me Kaashvi?' Kaashvi smiled and raised her brows teasingly.
'I'm a great grandma.'
I looked at Alf fighting hard to keep the smile on my face.
'If you think that this erases what your grandson did, then you're wrong. You have no rights whatsoever over my kids. Today better be the last day you ever come to see them because I sure as hell didn't give you permission to see me and them.'
'You don't have to be hostile.'
'Sure, tell that to your family, I'm only tolerating you for Elena's sake.'
'You're being selfish.'
'No. I'm putting myself first, there's a difference.'
'Everyone held my fairy godson except me, fairy can I hold them?' Elena pouted.
I pat the empty space on the bed next to me. She excitedly got on the bed and her eyes
glimmered so innocently, her gaze did not leave the baby even when I placed him in her arms and taught her how to hold him carefully.
'Awe, he's so tiny.'
'Support his head sweetie.'
'What will you name them Mahi?'
'I have been planning to name them with horatio and we decided that the best names for them would be Angelo and Alexander.'
Kaashvi clutched her chest and pretended to be hurt.
'And I wasn't even included.'
'Don't be so dramatic kaashvi, you suggested the names, remember, they were there in the list of names you sent me.'
Later that day I was discharged from the hospital. I had to book rooms in a hotel to
accommodate everyone because my penthouse didn't have enough rooms to accommodate everyone.
It wasn't so bad, I mean the hotel was clean and beautiful, just plain. This was a new beginning for both me and Elena. My boys would have a good life without a father and god forbid he ever comes back into my life.
5 YEARS LATER
My boys were growing up so fast and they were so sweet. Angelo and Alex were my little miracles. I don't know what i did to deserve such amazing children but they are the best thing that have ever happened to me
AMS was thriving. It kept getting bigger and better and sometimes it was overwhelming. Of course people had a lot of expectations from me. It got tiresome eventually but whenever I came home, they would run to me, my little boys would be so happy when I was home and when they called me mom, I swear something just shifted.
Kaashvi was a great aunt. They called her rich auntie, it was like a dream come true, they adored her. Elena lived with me but on school holidays she'd go back to America to visit her family.
The Carsons video called me regularly. I made it clear years ago that I didn't want them anywhere near my children and I'm glad they had respected that.
I haven't heard from Thane in the past five years. No calls, no letters, no hey how are my children doing, are they even still alive?
I expected him to come back but that hope died along the way because I couldn't keep doing that to myself. No matter how deeply I buried him or how much I avoided thinking about him, one thing that couldn't fade was the love I had for him.
Here's the thing about love, you can deny it as much as you want but eventually the heart will never comply with what your brain tells it to do, it will still beat for that particular person even if they're not good for you.
Thane may have been an asshole most of my life, but I can't explain why my heart still kept him so close.
I couldn't let my kids see that I was hurt by their father's absence. I hate that they were mature too at such a young age, they asked about him only once but I don't know I cried in front of them and they never asked again. I didn't want them to bear the burden of my emotions.
I didn't want to turn them against their father. I hated him, no thats a lie, I hated the idea of
giving in to him and him leaving again just like he did before.
Try as I might to build walls around my heart, it didn't change much. So I told them about their father one time. No I didn't feed them lies but I didn't tell him the truth either. I just told them their dad had to fight to protect the country but he loved them very much.
I guess they decided to not like him though because they weren't interested in talking about him much.
They made it their daily job to tell me how much they loved me and that I was enough for both of them and that they didn't need anyone else.
Elena was at school today, she had extra classes but Angelo and Alex wanted to go out for ice cream today so I had to go without Elena.
We had ice cream at our usual spot, no it wasn't a fancy cafe or mall, just at an old man's ice cream stand. Mr Pedro was a really lovely old man. He loved the kids too. His wife died 15 years ago and his kids, well they left him all alone after tasting success.
Mr Pedro loved the boys though and he was generous too. Even with the little things in life he was content. He wouldn't take any money from me so the only way I could support him was buying at his stand most of the time. Sometimes I send kids to his stand and give them money to buy from him. Most of those kids were orphans but he'd never know. After ice cream I took the kids to the nearby mall. I needed to buy a dress for Elena to make it
up to her for not bringing her along.
I was going through the row of dresses in Louisa when Angelo came with a maroon knee length butterfly dress and Alex was holding a bow that matched with the dress.
'Look what we found mommy, godmother will look so beautiful in this.'
I took the dress and analyzed it, 'hmmm. I wish there was a size for me too. This is so pretty, my boys know how to make a girl look beautiful with such great taste in fashion.'
Alexander ran his hand through his hair and smirked while Angelo blushed.
'Mahi?'
I turned around to see who had called my name only to find Thane standing there wearing a white golf shirt and suit pants. His hair had grown over the years and it was covering part of his forehead messily. His honey brown eyes shone with an emotion I didn't want to identify.
Play smart. Play smart.
'You have become so beautiful over the years, even as a mother you look like a goddess.'
I smiled and brought my hand forward for a handshake.
'I'm so flattered, sir.'
'Mommy. Who is this?'
'Ooh, I don't know, I think he's a fan of mine, you know since I make movies. I'm sure he wants an autograph.'
I looked back at Thane who was surprised by what I had said. I took my lipstick from my bag and tissue paper, then I applied the lipstick and kissed the ply of tissue and gave it to him.
'I'm sorry, I don't have a pen but I'm sure this will do. Have a nice day.'
I took Angelo and Alex and left the store. I decided I would pay for the dress and bow online and since I was a regular here they let me go.
Angelo and Alex didn't ask any questions and I was glad they didn't. They were too busy admiring Elena's dress and passing compliments on how beautiful Elena would look in it.
It's been 5 years, why did he come back now? Why now?
'Mom. I want to pee. Can you please hold Elena's dress for me.'
'Okay baby. Lets go I will wait for you guys outside.'
I waited for them outside.
'A fan? Wow.'
Thane stood in front of me, hands crossed over his chest.
'My sons are gorgeous. You did a good job Mahi.'
'You've got the nerve to show up now. I was serious when I told you that you won't see them.
They don't need you.'
'You can't keep me away from my son's Mahira. I want to see them.'
'They don't want you in their life.'
'You are being selfish. What you are doing is not right.'
'Who's being selfish? Me? Well then it's just the beginning. I was willing to let you back into my life but you fuckin chose the army over us.'
'I don't regret joining the army. I know that the old Mahira would've supported me and waited for me. I made a mistake but following my dreams was not a mistake.'
I tilted my head slightly to one side and raised my eyebrow. 'Seriously Thane. You have no ounce of shame. The old Mahira, who madly loved you, she's dead. Consider her dead. You killed the old Mahira, no one else did it was you.'
'Mahira, please…'
Thane slid his hands around my waist and pulled me close, locking me in a kiss. His lips were so soft, warm and plump. His tongue had a hint of peaches, he tightened his grip on my waist but not enough to hurt me.
God he tasted so good, I felt soo good being in his arms, I wanted to stay here forever, to be his forever to give in, to feel his hands all over me.
Snap out of it Mahi.
I pulled away gently, more gentle than I intended to be.
'Don't do. That. ever. Again.'
I wiped off his spit from my lips and glared at him. Angelo and Alex came out of the bathroom hand in hand and I took their hands separating them and walked away as fast as I could.
After two days from that meeting with Thane I took Angelo and Alex to AMS. They had been posturing me for a white now to take them along so I decided to come with them today.
The boys had been playing in my office since we got here. I promised to take them around to tour the building after I was done with analyzing a couple of documents.
The knock on my door caught my attention. I checked the surveillance cameras only to see Thane. What the fuck was he doing here? I looked at angelo and alex who were so engrossed in whatever game they were playing and decided to let him in.
I opened the door myself because I didn't want the kids' attention to be on him. Well i didnt want them to see him.
'What do you want, Thane?' I whispered.
Thane looked sincere. Yeah just like he did when he nearly convinced me to forgive him.
'I want to prove myself to you Mahira. To show you I'm committed to being a father.'
'And what makes you think I'll let you?'
'because I'm willing to do whatever it takes.'
'You can't just waltz back in after 5 years. It doesn't work like that Thane. I can't repeat the mistake of falling for your words again.'
'Please Mahira just hear me out.'
I looked at the kids again then back at him and hesitantly let him in. Was I making a mistake, I don't know. If they wanted him in their life I'd put my pride aside but I hope they don't.
'Talk!'
I kept stealing glances at the kids to make sure they were focused on their game. Thane sat down on my office couch.
'I know I made mistakes. But my love for you was never fake. I know that maybe if I had come earlier, you would've accepted me and my career but I love you and I'm sorry.'
'If you had reciprocated my feelings then I would have gladly accepted your career and waited for you. But you used me to get blessings from grandmother. Thane, that was selfish.'
'Give me one last chance Mahira. At least let me fix things. I'll never abandon you again. Please Mahi.'
I searched Thane's eyes seeking sincerity. He did look sincere. That's what hurts. He looked sincere last time too but he still left, he still chose the army he still left me even after saying that he loved me. 'I'll let you talk to them but if they want you gone, you will leave, you will respect their wishes.'
'Do you still love me?'
He took small steps towards me, as if I would disappear if he came too quickly.
'N..n..no! I d... don't love you.'
He came closer, closing the space between us and gently pulled me into his arms. He stroked my face leaving trails of heat on my skin and I leaned in into his touch. I craved him, I can't deny that I craved him, his touch, his love.
'My touch still affects you, I can still make you wet. It takes you a second or two to break free from my kisses. Everytime I touch you, I know your heart yearns for more but you are stubborn.'
'What are you doing to my mom?'
Alex pulled Thane away and pushed him then stood in front of me like a shield.
'It's the crazy fan brother. Why is he here?'
I looked at him and he looked so happy. He couldn't control the smile that cracked on his face as he looked at both of them.
I crouched down to their level and held them both. I bit my lip trying to figure out where to start. I looked up at Thane then averted my gaze back to the boys.
This is... your father.'
Well played Mahi. You just dropped the bomb just like that. Couldn't you be a bit more gentle, smoother lines or something. Soothe them first and then tell them he's their father. Their kids and you decided that shooting straight to the point was the right way to do it.
Angelo turned to face Thane walking towards him cautiously. I stood up anticipating what would happen next.
Well shooting straight to the point might not have been so bad after all.
'Dad...dy.'
Thane smiled genuinely with a hint of nervousness. He looked so cute even though he was nervous.
'Hi champ. Wanna give daddy a hug?'
Thane kneeled down his arm's extended, tears welling up and the site looked like something out of a movie.
'Do you know us?' Alexander asked.
Thane smiled, 'of course I know you guys. You are my two precious twins. My little miracles.'
Angelo looks up at me, fear written all over his face. Why is he scared? I never said anything against Thane so why is he scared?
'It's okay baby.'
Angelo takes a step forward, trembling as if Thane would devour him. Alexander also cautiously approached Thane. I smiled, maybe they needed their after all and I was just being selfish.
Suddenly Alexander stepped back.
'I don't like you!'
'Alexander?'
'You are going to hurt mommy. Like always, if you come back you will make her cry again.'
'I won't let you hurt mommy. Stay away from mommy.' Angelo backed up his brother.
'I promise I won't hurt her. I love your mom.'
Alexander shakes his head in denial. 'No you don't love her. If so, why did you leave us? If you could leave her once, you can do it again.'
'Alex and I will protect mommy from pain and if you are the cause of her pain then we will protect her from you.'
Thane took a few steps towards me, reaching his hand out to touch me.
Alexander and Angelo in unison, 'Don't touch her!'
'Please don't do this to me.'
Alexander glared at him sternly, his eyes as cold as ice, void of any emotion. His eyes were red, his nose flared and his tiny hands were curled into a fist.
'Mom raised us alone for five years. She can do it again. Where were you then? We could live without you for five years and we can do it again.'
'Relax. Look guys, he never hurt me, who told you that. He had to go because he has a duty towards the country.'
Alexander and Angelo's faces scrunch up in distaste, refusing to look at me.
'I hate you!'
'Yeah, I hate you too.'
'Angelo and I know everything. We heard aunt Kaashvi talking about mommy's past. We know that you are at fault for mommy's pain.'
'Yes, I agree with Alex. Once I saw mommy crying and it's all because of you. You abandoned us. You left mommy crying and sad.'
'You don't deserve mommy.'
'Boy, let's talk about this.'
Thane's eyes welled up with tears as he realized the depths of his son's resentment. Thane looked at me and nodded his head. The pain in his eyes was so elaborate. I held Angelo and Alex close as they continued glaring at him.
Thane left my office leaving nothing but unanswered questions which I had to find answers to.
The boys shook my hands off and their gaze pierced through my soul. I opened my mouth to explain but no words came out because I didn't know what to explain. What would I say? They both left my office, no questions asked, just the weight of my decision lingering so heavily in the air.
I called Rachel and asked her to cheer them up by taking them on a tour through the company and she told me she found them. I called Aliya and asked her to come to my office. She was at the door of my office 4 minutes later. I opened the door for her and she entered my office, her heels clicking on the marble tile. She looked around and then looked at her nails as if I was boring her, which maybe I was.
'Thane was here. The kids refused to acknowledge him and told him to stay away. I just, I don't know if I should push him away.'
She raised her brow then rolled her eyes before fixing her posture. Sure. Wrong person to seek advice from because although she was my sister, she didn't really fit the role well.
'Listen Mahi, I really don't care about your personal life, okay.'
She leaned against my table taking out a pink colored vape and inhaled from the thing then puffed out a cloud of smoke.
'Have you heard the saying, another man's garbage is another man's treasure? Thane is rich and handsome and you sure as hell don't want him so I can take care of him for you.' She said it so casually as if what she had said was nothing serious.
'Aliya, he's the father of my kid, that means he's someone to me, you can't just…take him.'
'I am 18 now Mahi. I can make my own decisions.'
'Yeah but make your decisions a mile away from my Thane.'
Aliya rolled her eyes.
'You don't want him right, so quit acting. Should I pity you for always playing the victim.'
'Aliya, I'm warning you, stay away from Thane.'
'I know Thane still loves you. But show a man some skin and he will be all over you. It's that simple.'
'He is mine, what makes you think he'll be head over heels for you just like that.'
'Watch me, watch me take him and make him mine.'
'You're going to get hurt.'
Aliya smiled, a crooked smile that screamed danger.
'Or maybe I'll hurt you.'
'Watch your back sis, take care of the kids too. Good luck.'
She puffed another cloud of smoke, this time maintaining eye contact as if daring me to do something about it.