Chapter 6 – Look Chubby
Lunch break.
Finally.
My salvation.
The only peaceful time in this cursed school life.
I stood up from my desk with a long sigh, rubbing my temple like an old man with back pain. Kouta, still glued to his phone, glanced up from his manhwa and raised an eyebrow.
"Yo, where you going, man? You look like a zombie that just escaped Silent Hill."
I waved him off. "Gonna walk around. Chill myself a bit. Maybe find peace... or death."
Kouta let out a small snort. "Bro, seriously. You should visit a therapist. You've been acting weird since this morning. Screaming in class, muttering about devils, now wandering the halls alone? That's textbook mental breakdown stuff."
"Yeah, yeah... Whatever." I sighed again, not even bothering to argue.
If only therapy could fix the problem of having a tiny elementary school girl declaring herself my fiancée out of nowhere.
I shoved my hands into my pockets and left the classroom, dragging my feet along the corridor.
As I walked, I lazily pulled out my phone.
Big mistake.
[22 New Messages – Unknown Number]
Oh no.
I hesitated. I really, really didn't want to open them.
But curiosity got the better of me.
I tapped the chat.
One message after another filled the screen like rapid machine-gun fire.
> "Ne, ne, Isagi-kun! Do you think this dress makes me look pretty??"
> "Or do you prefer this pink one better??"
> "Which nickname is better? 'Darling'? 'Future Husband'? 'My Love'? Pick one, okay?? <3"
> "I bet you like being called Darling, right? Ehehe~"
> "Say something~~!!"
I groaned.
This loli... was completely in full lovey-dovey mode.
What the hell did I do to deserve this?
I should've stayed home today. Pretended to be sick. Moved to a monastery and shaved my head bald. Anything but this cursed fate.
And then... my brain.
It betrayed me.
Before I knew what I was doing, my thumbs started moving by themselves.
Like a separate, cursed will had taken over.
I typed:
> "You look cute... I wanna pinch those chubby cheeks."
And then.
SEND.
...
...SEND.
My soul left my body.
Wait.
Wait wait wait WAIT.
WHAT DID I JUST DO?!
I stared at the sent message in horror.
I... actually sent it?!
Panic struck my brain like lightning.
NOOO! Why did I do that?! Why did my monkey brain betray me?! Now she'll be worse... much worse... ultra loli devil mode activated!!
I quickly hit the power button on my phone and shoved it deep into my pocket like it was a cursed artifact.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz.
I could feel it vibrating like mad against my leg.
Yup.
Airi spam mode: ON.
I wasn't going to check. Nope. Not opening that chat again. No sir.
I took a deep breath and looked around.
I needed to find somewhere peaceful.
Somewhere without devils. Without messages. Without loli-fiance problems.
...Maybe the roof?
Or behind the gym?
Anywhere away from that phone... and from the realization that I just fueled her obsession.
I kept walking, my mind spiraling.
Why the hell isn't she at school anyway? Shouldn't an elementary schooler be in class right now? Learning math or kanji or whatever? Normal lolis study during lunch, not send desperate wife messages to their random high school fiancé, right?!
Private schooling maybe?
Home schooling?
Loli mafia training camp??
I shook my head.
Nope. Not thinking about this. If I did, I'd have a full mental collapse.
Buzz.
Buzz buzz.
I sighed.
Even if I ignored her now... I knew this war wasn't over.
Not by a long shot.
I could see her tiny smug face in my mind, grinning while thinking, "Fufu~ my future husband thinks I'm cute~~!"
I shivered.
...Damn it, why did I type that?
I gently slammed my forehead against a nearby locker.
"God... if You still have mercy left in Your infinite heart... please let this be a dream. Or let a truck hit me right now. Or let a UFO abduct me. Anything..."
No response.
Typical.
Buzz.
...I ignored it.
The only thing I could do now... was find peace. Somehow. Somewhere.
Even if that peace lasted only for the next five minutes of lunch break.