---
Chapter 3: Running for His Life
Kazana woke up with a groan, his body still sore from his bathhouse fiasco. The memory of Soi Fon's death glare and Unohana's unsettling smile haunted him as he rolled out of his futon.
"No more stupid missions," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I'm just gonna lay low, eat some rice balls, and—"
The System's blue screen popped up, as cheerful and merciless as ever:
Mission: Challenge Captain Yoruichi Shihouin to a Race Across the Seireitei.
Reward: Random High-Tier Mobility Technique (e.g., Soru from One Piece).
Time Limit: 12 Hours.
Penalty for Failure: Spiritual Power Suppression for 24 Hours.
Kazana stared, his jaw dropping. "A race against Yoruichi? The Flash Goddess? System, do you have a death wish for me?!"
He flopped back onto the futon, covering his face with his hands. "I barely survived Yumi and the bathhouse! Now you want me to challenge the fastest woman in Soul Society? I'm not Sonic the Hedgehog!"
But the reward—Soru, a technique that could make him move like a blur—made his heart skip.
"Okay, fine," he muttered. "If I'm gonna die, might as well die fast."
He dragged himself up, slipped into his shihakusho, and headed out, his wooden zanpakuto bouncing awkwardly at his hip.
---
Finding Yoruichi was easier than expected. Kazana wandered toward the Second Squad's barracks, where he spotted her lounging on a rooftop, sunbathing in her black cat form. Her golden eyes flicked toward him, and he froze, his social anxiety around women kicking into overdrive.
"Uh… C-Captain Shihouin?" he stammered, his face already turning pink. "I, um, need to talk to you!"
The cat yawned, stretched, and in a flash of smoke, transformed into Yoruichi—tall, confident, and wearing an outfit that left Kazana's brain short-circuiting.
"Well, well," she purred, smirking. "You're the kid who crashed the bathhouse, huh? Got some nerve showing your face around here."
Kazana's blush deepened.
"That was an accident! I swear! I'm not a creep, I was just… uh… inspecting structural integrity!"
Yoruichi raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced but amused.
"Sure, kid. What do you want? I'm busy… napping."
He gulped, clutching his courage.
"I… challenge you to a race! Across the Seireitei, start to finish, no holds barred!"
The words tumbled out before he could stop them, and he immediately regretted it. Why did I say 'no holds barred'? She's gonna obliterate me!
Yoruichi's smirk widened, her eyes glinting with mischief.
"A race? Against me? Oh, you're either brave or brain-dead. I like it. Alright, kid, you're on. Start at the Second Squad gate, finish at the Senzaikyu tower. First one there wins. Loser owes the winner a favor."
She leaned closer, her voice dropping.
"And don't think I'll go easy on you."
Kazana's knees wobbled.
A favor? From Yoruichi? His mind spiraled into panic, imagining her demanding he clean her cat litter or worse.
But the System dinged approvingly, locking in the mission. No backing out now.
---
The race began at noon, with a small crowd of Second Squad members gathered to watch.
Kazana stood at the starting line, his heart pounding as Yoruichi stretched beside him, looking as relaxed as if she were about to jog to the corner store.
"Ready, kid?" she asked, flashing a grin.
"N-No," Kazana admitted, but the whistle blew, and Yoruichi was gone in a blur of shunpo.
"Wait, that's cheating!" he yelped, sprinting after her. His Geppo kicked in, letting him bounce across rooftops, but Yoruichi was a speck in the distance. Desperate, he activated his Gomu Gomu no Mi, stretching his arms to grab distant ledges and slingshot himself forward. The crowd gasped as he ricocheted like a human rubber ball, nearly crashing into a wall.
"Not bad!" Yoruichi's voice echoed from somewhere ahead. "But you're gonna need more than stretchy arms to keep up!"
Kazana gritted his teeth, his lazy side screaming to give up, but the thought of that spiritual power debuff—and the chance at Soru—kept him going. He focused, his newfound spiritual power boosting his stamina, and fired a Byakurai lightning bolt at the ground to propel himself forward. The blast sent him tumbling head-over-heels, but he gained a few yards.
"I'm a genius!" he cheered, right before smacking into a chimney.
The crowd roared with laughter, and Yoruichi's chuckle carried on the wind.
"You're entertaining, I'll give you that!"
Halfway through the Seireitei, Kazana was a sweaty, bruised mess, but he was closer to Yoruichi than he'd expected.
Then disaster struck. As he slingshotted around a corner, he collided with a figure stepping out of a doorway—Captain Unohana, carrying a basket of medical supplies.
They went down in a tangle, Kazana landing face-first in her lap. His brain shut down.
"I-I-I'm so sorry, Captain!" he squeaked, scrambling to his feet, his face redder than a Hollow's mask. "I didn't mean to—oh no, I'm dead, I'm so dead—"
Unohana's gentle smile didn't waver, but her eyes held that familiar, terrifying warmth.
"My, my, you're quite energetic today, Kazana," she said, brushing off her kimono. "Racing Captain Shihouin, are you? How… bold."
Kazana's heart did a backflip. She knew his name? Since when?
"Uh, y-yeah, just… trying to keep up," he stammered, backing away. "Gotta go, sorry again!"
As he Geppo'd away, Unohana called after him,
"Do be careful. I'd hate to treat you for a broken leg… or a broken heart."
Her tone was teasing, but Kazana's overactive imagination conjured her wielding a scalpel with that same smile. He ran faster.
Yoruichi was waiting at the Senzaikyu tower, leaning against the wall, sipping tea like she'd been there for hours.
"Took you long enough," she said as Kazana staggered up, gasping for air. "Not bad for a newbie. You didn't win, but you didn't die, so that's something."
The System dinged:
Mission Completed: Challenge Yoruichi Shihouin to a Race.
Reward: Soru (High-Tier Mobility Technique).
Kazana collapsed, grinning through his exhaustion.
"Soru… worth it," he panted. His body felt lighter, faster, as the technique settled into his muscles.
But Yoruichi's next words made his blood run cold.
"So, about that favor you owe me," she said, smirking. "I hear you're on Captain Unohana's radar. How about you deliver a message to her for me? Something… personal."
Kazana's eyes widened.
"A message? To Unohana? Can't you just… shunpo it to her yourself?"
Yoruichi laughed.
"Where's the fun in that? Besides, she seems to like you. You've got that 'cute, clumsy puppy' vibe going on."
"C-Cute?" Kazana's face burned, but before he could protest, the System chimed in:
New Mission: Deliver Yoruichi's Message to Captain Unohana Without Fainting.
Reward: Random Healing Kido (Mid-Tier).
Kazana groaned, slumping against the tower.
"System, you're gonna be the death of me."
But deep down, a tiny part of him wondered if Yoruichi was right about Unohana.
Did she really like him? Or was she just planning to dissect him with that creepy smile?
Either way, he had a message to deliver, a terrifying captain to face, and a long way to go before he could live the carefree, powerful life he dreamed of—preferably with a beautiful wife who didn't scare him senseless.
As he trudged toward the Fourth Squad barracks, Kazana muttered,
"One day, I'll be strong enough to handle this. But today… I just hope I don't pass out."
---
End of Chapter 3
---