WebNovels

Naruto: I Swear I’m Not a Pokémon

MrBehringer
28
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 28 chs / week.
--
NOT RATINGS
3.3k
Views
Synopsis
Damn it! Don’t tell me I am a freakin’ Pokémon after all?! The Third Great Ninja War has erupted. Amid the chaos and carnage, facing a wave of enemies, Tachikawa Tachibana doesn’t panic. Calm and composed, his hands flash into rapid seals. > “Water Style: Soaring Aqua Shuriken!” > “Lightning Style: Thunderbolt!” > “Ice Style: Ice Beam!” > “Lava Style: Sword of the Ravine!” Silence falls once more over the battlefield. Amid the scorched earth and shattered terrain, Tachikawa Tachibana stands still, deep in thought. He glances at the [Intimidation Band] strapped to his left wrist, and the [Mystic Water Drop] clutched in his right hand. After a long pause, he picks up the freshly acquired **\[Leek]** and slams it onto the ground with frustration. Raw Title: 火影之我真不是宝可梦 Author: 酉时二把刀 NOTE: I do not own the original story, characters, or any associated content. All rights remain with the original creator(s). This translation is created purely for enjoyment and to share appreciation for the work. No copyright infringement is intended. NOTE: The cover image used for this book is not my own. All visual content belongs to its respective artist or rights holder. If you are the creator and would like the image to be removed or properly credited, please feel free to contact me.
VIEW MORE

Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: Tachikawa Tachibana

The World of the Shinobi – Kirigakure – Ninja Academy.

Even the noonday sun could only thin the mist hanging over the training grounds; it couldn't dispel the cold, oppressive atmosphere lingering in the air.

A group of eight- or nine-year-old students stood silently in formation, listening to their chūnin instructor's stern lecture.

Ever since the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju, pioneered the ninja academy system in Konoha, all the great shinobi villages had followed suit. But the differences in village culture had caused drastic disparities between them.

And Kirigakure's version was a far cry from the original.

Since the Third Mizukage began enforcing the "Bloody Mist" policy, a strict hierarchy and disregard for life had seeped deep into the soul of the village.

The children, not even graduates yet, already bore a shadowed, sullen look in their eyes.

"Midterm combat evaluation. First match: Tachikawa Tachibana vs. Ikari Ashito."

As the chūnin instructor finished his lengthy lecture and began calling names from the roster, the tension in the air eased just slightly.

"Where did Tachikawa even find a summoning beast? Think he's actually gotten stronger?"

"Don't be stupid. Ashito ranks top ten in our class in every combat drill. That little toad of Tachikawa's isn't even knee-high, what's it gonna do?"

Amid the hushed whispers of classmates, a boy with black hair and eyes stepped forward. He wore a short blue shirt and black shinobi pants, with a bright, confident smile that seemed entirely out of place in the gloom of Kirigakure.

What made him truly stand out, though, was the small, pale-blue frog perched on his shoulder.

The creature stood about thirty centimeters tall, with disproportionately large eyes and a fluffy, cloud-like ring of bubbles around its neck.

As the boy walked to the center of the field, he appeared to be whispering quietly to the frog.

His opponent, Ashito Ikari, scowled impatiently.

"Hey, Tachikawa! Wipe that fake smile off your face. You bringing that little summon to die or what?"

Before Tachikawa could reply, the chūnin instructor cut in.

"You two, get ready!"

Tachikawa's smile vanished. He drew a kunai and took a serious stance.

In Kirigakure, there was no such thing as the Seal of Confrontation or the Seal of Reconciliation.

Once a match started, even a moment's hesitation could be fatal. In upper-year classes, death during sparring wasn't uncommon.

"Begin!"

At the instructor's command, the two shot forward like arrows from a bowstring.

But their approaches were different.

Ashito moved fast, steps light and ghost-like. He kept his short blade in a reversed grip, ready to strike at any moment, an unmistakable Kirigakure combat style.

Tachikawa's charge seemed far more ordinary.

But as he moved, the blue frog on his shoulder launched backward, disappearing behind him, clearly preparing a coordinated surprise attack.

Without giving his opponent time to react, Tachikawa surged forward, chakra bursting from his legs, and intercepted Ashito's rising slash with his kunai.

Using the momentum of the clash, he pivoted sharply to the right, narrowly dodging a follow-up kick.

The shift exposed the frog behind him.

"Ao-chan! Water Gun!"

"Gwaaah! (`0′)===3!"

A water jet the thickness of a forearm shot out, spinning violently as it sped toward Ashito.

At the same time, Tachikawa hurled his kunai straight at his opponent's face.

Ashito, though caught off guard, stayed calm. His right hand flicked out, blade drawing a sharp arc. With a reversed-to-forward grip switch, he cleaved through the water jet with startling ease.

Then he instinctively raised his hand and caught the incoming kunai, just five centimeters from his face.

No time to think. Both boys lashed out with simultaneous kicks.

Thud! Thud!

After the clash, they jumped apart.

Ashito rubbed the spot where he'd been kicked, breath slightly labored.

Tachikawa, on the other hand, stayed calm. The pincer attack had failed, which was a pity, but he had expected that. His taijutsu had always been lacking.

Ao-chan was a new contract, still far from perfectly in sync.

Landing even a glancing hit had already exceeded expectations.

Ashito, meanwhile, noticed cold sweat trickling down his neck.

In truth, his counter to the attack had been entirely instinctual.

He hadn't been confident in stopping either the water gun or the kunai. Though he pulled it off, the blade's tip had sliced his palm.

Tachikawa... that bastard!

"That all you got?! Your summon's ninjutsu is weaker than my punches. All you've got are cheap tricks!"

Ashito spat back, trying to mask his unease.

Tachikawa only smiled again, that trademark sunny smile of his, and said nothing.

He drew another kunai.

"Let's go, Ao-chan!"

The two charged again, as murmurs spread through the watching students.

"That summon of his might actually be useful."

"And Tachikawa's attacks seem sharper too."

"Yeah, he's been training after class for the past month."

As the crowd whispered, the fight intensified.

They exchanged blow after blow in rapid succession.

Though it looked even, Tachikawa knew the truth.

Even with Ao-chan's ranged support, he couldn't beat Ashito head-on.

A few times, Ashito's blade had already torn his clothes.

Time to execute the plan.

With that thought, Tachikawa suddenly pulled back.

He reached into his pouch, pretending to prepare a shuriken throw.

Ashito didn't wait, he launched three shuriken first, stepping in to close the gap and press his close-combat advantage.

The three shuriken flew in a tight triangle, cutting off escape routes.

Tachikawa looked like he froze.

One shuriken struck him square in the chest.

Or so it seemed.

Poof! A puff of white smoke exploded.

Where Tachikawa should have been, only a log impaled with shuriken spun through the air.

"Substitution? When did he, ?!"

Ashito glanced around, stunned.

The standard substitution jutsu was basic, one of the "Three Fundamental Techniques." It required hand seals and pre-set decoys, more a sleight of hand than real ninjutsu.

It was rare to use it so cleanly in a close match.

He hadn't seen Tachikawa form any seals at all!

Then, whoosh!, a gust of wind struck from behind.

"Behind me?!"

No time to think. Ashito pivoted on his right foot, slashing upward toward the attacker.

He followed with a kick for good measure.

But his blade met only air.

The attacker… was the frog.

Ao-chan reached out with a tiny white paw, aiming a slap.

Mistaking it for Tachikawa due to the silence (no water blast), Ashito had countered the wrong target.

Too late to switch tactics now.

He adjusted his kick at the last moment, sending the frog flying, but without much force.

It was already over.

A kunai pressed silently against his neck from behind.

And the hand holding it, embedded with a bloodied shuriken, was unmistakably human.

"First match winner: Tachikawa Tachibana."

[Ding! Achievement unlocked: "Gimme that lollipop!" – First victory against a fellow academy student.]

Tachikawa ignored the system prompt.

He nodded to the instructor, then calmly walked over to pick up his bruised little frog.

Ashito didn't dare protest after the official declaration.

He glared at Tachikawa, then slunk back to his team.

The crowd of students burst into noise.

They'd all seen it, how, when Ashito countered the blue frog, the fallen log behind him suddenly turned back into Tachikawa with a "poof."

That log hadn't been a substitution, it was a transformation.

Ao-chan had followed the pre-match strategy: rush the enemy when Tachikawa transformed, drawing their attention.

Tachikawa, reverting from disguise and ignoring the shuriken still stuck in his arm, had finished the fight with a kunai to the throat.

"Tachikawa beat Ashito? That weak-looking summon was actually useful?"

"You moron. The summon was just a distraction. That kind of coordination takes real skill!"

"Seriously? He did a one-handed seal inside his pouch?! That's insane!"

Tachikawa didn't respond to the chatter.

He comforted his wounded summon.

"Ao-chan, perfect timing on that slap. You really saved us."

He placed the frog back on his shoulder and returned to the line, his smile shining once more.

"Tachibana! That transformation, how'd you do it?!"

A classmate rushed over, curious.

Tachikawa didn't hide it. He pulled out a small, bandage-wrapped ball from his pouch.

"Just a cheap trick. It's a failed smoke bomb from ninja tools class. Found that its burst looks a lot like the smoke from the Three Body Techniques."

"So earlier, I popped the smoke and cast the transformation while hidden inside."

"That's it? A failed smoke bomb? So it was just luck?"

Tachikawa smiled but said nothing more.

He pulled out some bandages and began wrapping his wounded arm.

Despite the injury, he didn't plan to go to the infirmary.

Just a quick patch-up. He wasn't done watching.

Victory was great, but now wasn't the time to relax.

"Midterm Combat Evaluation. Second Match: Momochi Zabuza vs. Nobi Umi."