Aoi was, as always, in her freshly renovated castle office. She had called an emergency meeting with all available staff—in other words: our protagonist, a ghost accountant, and a bipolar maid.
"Well…" Aoi began seriously as she flipped through papers. "You did a good job fixing what you could with our tiny budget…"
Akira smiled, already about to raise his arms in victory. But Aoi's expression grew even tenser.
"However…" she continued, her tone hardening, "the city needs more background characters—uh, I mean, citizens."
The air turned awkward.
"And we're short on materials," she added, thoughtful.
Still forcing a smile, Akira raised his hand.
"What if we bring some from Greenhill?"
Aoi glared at him.
"Did you fall out of your crib as a baby? Greenhill's agricultural. They can only give us food and wood."
Flames began flickering around her hands.
"Why does she have to say it like that…?" Akira muttered, lowering his head.
She ignored him and continued firmly,
"We need metals and minerals. Those can only be found in the mountains. There's a mining town called Snowy Town, high up on Mount Katao."
"Who the hell names these places?" Akira grumbled under his breath.
Minu nudged him, floating beside him.
"Shhh! Or she'll make us wash dishes again…"
"You two?" Aoi raised a stern eyebrow.
"N-no, my love… we were just talking about whether we should bring winter clothes…" Akira improvised nervously.
"Ah, I see…" Aoi replied sweetly—too sweetly.
The relief lasted five seconds.
"No. You'll go as you are. No extra gear—we have no money for that."
"B-b-but…" Akira tried to protest.
Aoi crossed her arms, fire blazing in her eyes.
"If you're man enough, you'll manage just fine."
At that moment, Cecilia appeared behind him and gently hugged him from behind.
"Don't worry, Master. If you get cold… I'll keep you warm."
Aoi's teeth audibly cracked like burning coals.
"Indecent vampire…"
Akira tried to break free from Cecilia's embrace, but the maid held him tighter.
"L-look, Aoi, it's just body temperature logistics!" he said, sweating profusely.
"Logistics, my ass…" Aoi growled as tiny infernal flames began flickering on her desk like demonic candles.
Minu fluttered in front of Akira and pointed upward.
"Oh, oh… the SPN's activating!"
A holographic panel appeared before them all:
SPN: New Quest Unlocked — "Recruit More Extras, You Idiot!"
Objective: Reach Snowy Town and recruit at least one character with muscles.
Reward: Mining infrastructure + 10 generic copy-paste extras.
Failure Penalty: All castle beds will turn into rocks!
"WHAT?!" Akira and Cecilia screamed in unison.
"Well, looks like the system finally did something useful," Aoi said, crossing her arms in satisfaction.
And so, after a montage the production team didn't let us show—because it included not-so-epic battles, a maid doing unnecessary fanservice, and a drunk fairy throwing up on the protagonist—our heroes were now climbing the mountain.
"…And that's how I defeated the Demon King," Akira said proudly, pointing toward the snowy horizon.
(…)
No, not that far into the future.
"…And that's how I discovered, that god was actually a femboy," Akira added with sudden solemnity.
(…)
Honestly, even I don't know when that happened in our protagonist's life.
Anyway—arriving at Snowy Town…
"Ahhhh… the mining town, such good memories…" Minu sighed dramatically.
"You've been here before?" Akira asked, confused.
"No, I just saw it in a brochure. But it was a very good brochure," she replied, perfectly serious.
Akira stared at her with a half-lidded glare.
"Now I understand why you got fired… Anyway. You know anything else about this place?"
Cecilia stepped forward just as Minu was about to open her mouth.
"Snowy Town used to be part of Faraluz," she explained elegantly. "But after what happened with the former king, they decided to become independent—just like Greenhill."
Aoi nodded, arms crossed.
"Yes, and they're doing better for it. Just like us."
"I see… then I'll be on my way," Akira said, turning around with a lazy smile.
Aoi grabbed him by the collar before he could take a single step.
"You're staying right here. We need to talk to the town leader, and I'm not going to sink with your useless kingdom alone."
Then the narrator intervened:
At that moment, Akira realized that "escaping the script" wasn't one of his options. Literally—the SPN had locked the Escape button.
Don't miss our next episode, maybe next month, filled with femboys, muscular girls, and cardboard eagles!
(Assuming, of course, someone remembers to write this excuse for a novel.)