The group chat had gone quiet since then.
No chats and no late-night voice notes. Just silence; broken occasionally by a half-hearted "how are you?" or a vague check-in that no one quite knew how to answer.
John stared at his phone screen and at a message from Rose two days ago:
"I couldn't sleep. Miss her so much."
He had read it, typed a reply, then deleted it. What could he say? He missed Kana too, so much that it left him hollow.
Since her death, life felt like it had begun to crawl.
Jane had taken a leave from the hospital as the thought of walking past Kana's ward again was unbearable.
Dr Kennedy had returned to work, but not as the man he once was. He moved like a machine: precise, reliable, and heartbroken.
And John… he had nowhere to go.
He'd been staying at Dr Kennedy's house since the funeral. His mother hadn't called. His old neighborhood didn't cross his mind. All he did was sleep, stare at the ceiling, or read the same lines in Kana's journal over and over again. He hadn't made it past the bloodstained page.
The results from his final exams had arrived. He passed with top scores again, but he didn't care.
What was the point of college when the only person he wanted to tell wasn't here anymore?
Every day was heavy.
And yet, he still couldn't cry.
****
Then it happened.
Five days after Kana's funeral, John was just sitting idly in Dr. Kennedy house when he suddenly barged in, with urgency in his steps which made John think that there was a break in.
Dr Kennedy: John, get dressed. Now. We're leaving.l
John looked at him from the living room couch but he didn't move.
John: What for?
Dr Kennedy: Just trust me, it's something important.
Dr Kennedy was already halfway out the door when he said this and John hesitated for a bit. But something in Dr. Kennedy's voice pulled him to his feet.
Outside, after several minutes of walking, they ran into Misa near the old train bridge and she looked just as hollowed out as he felt.
Dr Kennedy: Ah... There you are Miss Rowland.
John raised his eyebrow.
John: You too?
She nodded.
Misa: He told me it was important.
John: Well, that the second time I've heard that word today.
Dr. Kennedy waited until they both caught up, then finally said what they'd both never expected to hear.
Dr Kennedy: I found her.
They both stopped walking and a single word both came out of their mouths at the same time.
John & Misa: Who?
Dr Kennedy: (clears his throat) Kana's mother, I found her.
A gust of wind passed and for a moment, no one spoke as that was somehting they weren't expecting to hear.
Misa: Wait… seriously?
Dr Kennedy: Yeah....We're going to see her, today. I'm sure the both of you have something to say to her too right?
In that moment, the memory of Kana seeing her mother during their trip to the amusement park and her running away and denying ever knowing who she was flashed both in Misa and John's minds and then they responded at the same time again.
John & Misa: Yes we do.
Dr Kennedy smiled at both of them.
Dr Kennedy: Well, I have something to say to her too... So let's go then.
*****
As they walked, Misa looked over at John.
John: You look like you haven't slept properly in days.
Misa: I could say the same about you.
John: Yeah... I guess.
Misa: It's really hard to actually accept that Kana's really gone. I can't help but cry when I think about her... What about you, have you… cried yet?
John shook his head.
John: No. I don't know why. I feel everything and nothing at once. I can't really explain it.
Misa: Same...It's like… she's gone, but my brain won't let it be real.
There was a long pause before Misa added:
Misa: Sometimes I stare at her Twibbler page like she's still on the other side of the screen.
John: Yeah.... Her Twibbler page has gone quiet ever since and her notifications are full of followers wondering when she's going to post her next poem.
Misa: You go through her phone?
John: Just her Twibbler... Anyways I don't think I have the heart to tell them that she's....
The words were unable to leave his mouth as her face flashed in his mind in that moment.
******
Eventually, they arrived at a house located in an estate painted with bright colors which suggested that rich people lived there.
John stared at the front door, Misa clenched her fists and Dr. Kennedy stepped forward.
Dr Kennedy: This is it, are you sure you're ready for this?
John took a deep breath and looked at Misa who nodded in agreement.
John: Yeah...
Misa nodded.
Misa: Yeah... I'm not ready to leave without getting any answers.
And with that, Dr Kennedy rang the door bell.
A faint chime echoed from within the house, muffled by old wooden walls and drawn curtains. Dr Kennedy stood calmly, but John could see the tension in his jaw. Misa shifted beside him, her arms crossed tightly, like she was physically holding her emotions together.
Seconds passed and then they heard the sound of footsteps approaching.
The door creaked open.
A woman in her early forties peeked through. Her face was pale, slightly worn with the kind of tiredness that probably didn't come from age. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she looked at the unfamiliar faces on her doorstep.
Mrs Young: Can I help you?
She blinked at John, then at Misa. And then her eyes landed on Dr Kennedy.
Recognition hit her like a wave. Her face went slack and then pale.
Mrs Young: You…
Dr Kennedy: You remember me... Makes this easier.
She swallowed hard and glanced at Misa again, this time with more discomfort than confusion. Her body subtly stepped back.
Mrs Young: W-What are you doing here? How… how did you find me?
Dr Kennedy remained composed.
Dr Kennedy: After you stopped visiting your daughter five years ago, I started digging. A few medical records were still tied to a former address. Eventually, I found your name through public health insurance records. You didn't exactly go off the grid.
Her expression soured.
Mrs Young: That still doesn't explain why you're at my house. I don't appreciate strangers showing up at my door.
That was the moment that set Misa off.
Misa: Strangers?! You're really gonna sit there and pretend like you don't know me?! I was Kana's best friend! You lied to me that she was dead!!! Why?! Where were you?!
Kana's mother flinched, but her tone remained cold.
Mrs Young: I don't owe you an explanation...
This response shocked everyone and at this point, Misa didn't care if she was the older adult.
Misa: What... what kind of a person are you?! Don't act like we're the problem here! You abandoned your daughter and now you're pretending she never existed?!
John immediately grabbed her arm when it seemed like she was going to physically attack her. She was trembling, and he could feel her rage bubbling beneath the surface.
Misa's eyes were filled with tears she refused to let fall, but she stayed back, breathing hard.
Kana's mother narrowed her eyes.
Mrs Young: I don't have to listen to this. If you don't leave, I'll call the police.
Dr Kennedy didn't flinch.
Dr Kennedy: You can do that.... But before you do… you should know. Kana passed away. Five days ago.
Everything stopped.
Kana's mother froze in place, the words hitting her like ice water. Her mouth parted slightly, but no sound came out. Her eyes flicked between the three of them, waiting, hoping maybe she misheard.
Mrs Young: She's… she's what?
It was at this point that John spoke for the first time ever.
John: She died... On her birthday... If you ever cared to remember that.
A long silence followed. The kind of silence that presses against your ears and chest. Kana's mother leaned slightly against the doorframe. Her knees looked weak. She blinked a few times, her lips trembling.
But no words came out.
Her breath hitched.
She stepped back slightly, her hands trembling at her sides. Then her gaze shifted to John, and her confusion deepened. For a moment, it was like time slowed.
Memories began to flash in her mind. Kana giggling as a toddler, scribbling with crayons on the walls, calling out "Mama" rushed through her mind like a sudden storm.
Without realizing it, tears welled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away, as if ashamed to show emotion.
Mrs Young: Come in.
*****
They sat stiffly around a modest dining table. The atmosphere was tense like the room was holding its breath.
John's eyes scanned the walls, eventually stopping on a photo frame. Two children smiling, healthy, carefree. Kana had mentioned having younger siblings.
The weight in his chest deepened.
Dr. Kennedy leaned forward.
Dr Kennedy: We didn't come here to fight, Mrs Young. But we do want answers. You left Kana at the hospital four years ago. You never came back. Why?
Kana's mother looked away. Her lips quivered before she finally spoke.
Mrs Young: Her father… died.
This revelation shook everyone in the room and then Mrs Young took a minute before she continued.
Mrs Young: There was a plane crash on his way to a business trip. After that, everything fell apart. Money was tight. I had two other children to think about. Ones who had a future.
This statement made Misa and John twitch while Dr Kennedy still remained calm.
Mrs Young: Kana… Kana was already dying. What was the point of draining everything we had left on someone who was never going to make it? I... I made the only logical decision I could. It was either lose all three, or save two.
Misa's fists clenched on her lap and John stared at her, stunned.
Kana's mother continued,
Mrs Young: And when I saw her that day… I denied knowing her. I thought… maybe it'd be easier that way.
It was at this point that John finally snapped.
John: Easier? Easier for who?!
John stood, his chair screeching back. His eyes burned.
John: You sound just like my mother.... always giving excuses and trying to justify your actions.
He pointed at Kana's mother.
John: You don't get to justify abandoning your child by calling it 'logical.' You don't get to walk away and pretend you did what was best. You were her mother. You should've fought for her. Stayed for her. Loved her, even if it hurt. That's what being a parent means.
Dr. Kennedy added sharply,
Dr Kennedy: Kana spent so much time wondering why you left her. Why her mother, the one person who should have fought the world for her, chose not to.
Misa then added.
Misa: Do you even what how what you did affected her?!
Kana's mother stood up now too, defensively.
Mrs Young: You think I enjoyed that decision? You think it didn't tear me apart? You don't know what it's like to be in my position, making impossible choices!
Misa rose from her seat beside John.
Misa: That doesn't give you a pass or justify how horrible you are as a human being!!!
Kana's mother was taken back by what Misa said and her voice sharpened.
Mrs Young: I don't appreciate being insulted in my own house. I want you to leave. Now.
A tense silence followed.
Dr. Kennedy sighed and turned to Misa and John.
Dr Kennedy: Let's go. We've gotten the answers we came for.
They slowly made their way to the door. But just before stepping out, John stopped.
He looked back over his shoulder, eyes colder now and yet more sad.
John: You can keep pretending she never existed if it helps you sleep at night... But the truth is, Kana was the kindest, strongest person I've ever known.
Memories of Kana began to replay in his mind as he continued talking.
John: She saved me when I was falling apart. She gave people hope, even while she was hurting. You had a chance to stand by her… and you threw it away.
He took one final breath.
John: And now, no matter how hard you try to pretend like you've forgotten her, the fact that you let your child die will always haunt you and your other kids will grow up and remember exactly what kind of mother you were.
Kana's mother's eyes widened.
From the hallway behind her, small footsteps creaked forward. Two children, Kana's younger siblings, stood silently, having heard everything.
Their eyes said it all: confusion, fear, and dawning realization.
The room went still.
John said nothing more. He turned and walked out the door with Misa and Dr. Kennedy behind him.