Akashic_Tales Originals
Hades, Inc.: The Billionaire God of Death's Chaotic System
Chapter 5: Hellhound in the Boardroom
—————————
Haiden Black was having a day.
First, there was the meeting with Detective Moon at the crime scene, another victim with a charred hole where their heart should be. Then came the unexpected visit from a minor deity who was "just checking" if the rumors about Hades going AWOL were true. And now, as he returned to Elysium Towers for an emergency board meeting, he found himself dealing with his most pressing problem yet.
Cerberus had escaped his corgi form.
"Sir," his assistant said through the phone, voice trembling, "there's a... situation in the main conference room."
"Define 'situation,'" Haiden replied, already knowing he wouldn't like the answer.
"There's a massive three-headed dog sitting at the head of the table, and the security team can't get within ten feet of it without their shoes melting."
Haiden closed his eyes and counted to ten, a anger management technique he'd learned from a therapist who specialized in divine rage issues. It didn't help.
"I'll be right there," he said, ending the call.
As the elevator ascended to the executive floor, Haiden mentally prepared himself. Cerberus was technically his pet, a gift from his father eons ago. The hellhound had guarded the gates of the Underworld faithfully for millennia, only occasionally eating souls he particularly disliked. When Haiden had faked his death and escaped to the mortal realm, Cerberus had tracked him down within days, refusing to be left behind.
The compromise had been the corgi form, less conspicuous, equally stubborn.
[New Quest: Train Your Emotional Support Hellhound]
[Reward: Enhanced Animal Control (24-hour duration)]
[Penalty: Random transformations of nearby animals for one week]
"Perfect timing," Haiden muttered to the floating text as the elevator doors opened.
The scene that greeted him was exactly as chaotic as he'd expected. The glass-walled conference room, normally the picture of corporate sophistication, now contained a hellhound the size of a small car. Cerberus's three heads swiveled in different directions: the left head was chewing on what appeared to be an expensive leather chair, the middle head was growling at terrified security personnel, and the right head was... sleeping?
Around the room, board members and executives huddled against walls, some filming with their phones (useless, as supernatural entities rarely photographed well), others apparently praying to various deities (also useless, as most deities were currently on their lunch break).
"Everyone remain calm," Haiden announced, striding into the room with the confidence of someone who had literally walked through Hell on a daily commute. "This is simply a... security drill."
"A security drill?" echoed Board Member Park, who had climbed onto a table. "That's a monster!"
"It's an advanced security prototype," Haiden improvised. "Genetically engineered guard dog. Very expensive. Very classified."
Luna appeared at his side, somehow maintaining her professional composure despite the chaos. "Perhaps we should clear the room, sir, while you... deactivate the prototype."
"Excellent suggestion, Ms. Voss." Haiden nodded. "Everyone, please proceed calmly to the auxiliary conference room. Ms. Voss will continue the meeting there."
As Luna efficiently herded the terrified executives out, Haiden approached Cerberus, who was now fully focused on him. All three heads perked up, tongues lolling out from mouths that contained far too many teeth arranged in geometrically impossible patterns.
"Bad dog," Haiden said firmly once they were alone. "Very bad dog."
Cerberus's middle head whined, a sound that caused the remaining intact windows to vibrate ominously.
"Don't give me that look," Haiden continued, crossing his arms. "We had an agreement. You stay in corgi form during business hours."
The left head barked, a sound that briefly opened a small portal to a dimension of eternal fire before Haiden quickly closed it with a wave of his hand.
"I don't care if you were bored. Do you have any idea how much paperwork this will create? Memory alterations, property damage reports, therapy vouchers for the traumatized staff..."
All three heads lowered guiltily.
[Quest Update: Establish dominance to begin training]
[Progress: 25%]
Haiden sighed and reached out to scratch behind the middle head's ears. Despite being a creature of nightmare that had inspired countless horror stories throughout human history, Cerberus was essentially a very large, very dangerous puppy at heart.
"Look," Haiden said more gently, "I know the corgi form is limiting. But we've talked about this. Low profile, remember?"
The right head, now awake, gave a soft woof that somehow conveyed understanding.
"Good. Now, can we please return to a more manageable size before someone calls an exorcist? Again?"
Slowly, reluctantly, Cerberus began to shrink. The three heads merged into one, the massive paws became tiny corgi legs, and the brimstone-scented fur transformed into a fluffy orange-and-white coat. Within moments, what sat before Haiden was an innocent-looking Welsh Corgi with unusually red eyes.
"Much better," Haiden said, picking up the now-small dog. "Though you're still in trouble."
Cerberus licked his face, a gesture that would have been cute if Haiden hadn't known that same tongue had licked clean the bones of history's greatest sinners.
[Quest Update: Basic form control established]
[Progress: 50%]
[Next step: Implement training regimen]
The door to the conference room opened, and Luna entered, her expression carefully neutral.
"The board is... concerned," she said diplomatically.
"Did you use the memory alteration technique I taught you?" Haiden asked.
"I did, but it's not as effective on large groups. They remember something unusual happened, just not exactly what." She eyed Cerberus. "Perhaps we should consider a more permanent solution."
"He's not going back to the Underworld," Haiden said firmly. "He'd just find his way back here anyway."
"I was thinking more along the lines of proper training." Luna reached into her pocket and produced a small treat that definitely wasn't manufactured by any mortal pet food company. It glowed faintly and smelled of ambrosia.
Cerberus's ears perked up immediately.
"Divine dog treats?" Haiden raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get those?"
"I have my sources," Luna replied enigmatically. "Not all vampires limit themselves to blood banks."
She offered the treat to Cerberus, who took it delicately, then sat perfectly still, awaiting further instruction.
"Impressive," Haiden admitted.
"I've been reading up on hellhound psychology," Luna explained. "They respond well to positive reinforcement and the occasional threat of cosmic banishment."
"You've been researching hellhound training methods?"
"Someone has to," she replied with a pointed look. "You may be the God of Death, but you're a remarkably permissive pet owner."
Before Haiden could defend his pet-rearing philosophy, his phone buzzed. A text from Detective Moon:
*Another body found. Same MO. This one left a message. Need your expertise. Address attached.*
"Duty calls," he said, showing Luna the text. "Can you handle the board?"
"Of course. But we need to discuss the hellhound situation properly when you return." She glanced at Cerberus, who was now rolling on his back, paws in the air. "He needs structure."
"Fine, fine. We'll establish a training regimen." Haiden headed for the door, then paused. "Actually, I think Cerberus should come with me."
"To a crime scene?" Luna looked skeptical.
"He can detect divine residue better than any equipment. Plus, it's part of his training, professional responsibility and all that."
[Quest Update: Incorporating hellhound into professional duties]
[Progress: 75%]
[System approves of this integration approach]
"If you insist," Luna conceded. "But please ensure he remains in corgi form. The last thing we need is the Seoul Metropolitan Police discovering that the God of Death is consulting on their cases with a mythological monster in tow."
"When you put it that way, it sounds almost unprofessional," Haiden said with a smirk.
Luna didn't smile back. "The board will expect a full explanation about the 'security prototype' at tomorrow's meeting."
"Tell them it's classified. National security. Very hush-hush."
"They're not idiots, Haiden. Eventually, they'll notice that things around here aren't exactly normal."
She had a point. Despite his best efforts to maintain a mortal façade, cracks were beginning to show. The cat situation was getting out of hand, he'd counted thirty-seven felines watching his car this morning. The System kept assigning increasingly public quests. And now Cerberus was staging boardroom takeovers.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Haiden decided, scooping up Cerberus. "For now, damage control."
"Your eternal solution to everything," Luna noted dryly.
"It's worked for thousands of years," Haiden replied with a wink.
As he headed for the elevator with Cerberus tucked under his arm, Haiden couldn't help but wonder if his retirement plan was already falling apart. He'd barely been "dead" for six months, and already the mortal world was proving almost as complicated as running Hell.
Almost.
At least here, the coffee was better.
[Quest Complete: Training basics established!]
[Reward: Enhanced Animal Control unlocked for 24 hours]
[Note: Works on hellhounds, cats, and most mythological creatures. Does NOT work on geese. Nothing works on geese.]
In the car on the way to the crime scene, Cerberus sat obediently on the seat beside him, occasionally growling at passing pedestrians who gave off particularly sinful auras.
"Remember," Haiden instructed, "at the crime scene, you're just a cute dog. No three heads, no fire breath, no judging souls. Got it?"
Cerberus tilted his head, one ear up, one ear down, in what might have been agreement or might have been contemplation of which detective would taste best.
"And no eating anyone," Haiden added firmly. "Even if they deserve it."
The corgi huffed but nodded.
As they pulled up to the crime scene, an upscale apartment building cordoned off with police tape, Haiden spotted Detective Moon waiting outside. She looked tired, her usual sharp appearance slightly rumpled, as if she'd been called directly from bed.
"This should be interesting," Haiden murmured to Cerberus as they exited the car. "Be on your best behavior. She's important."
Cerberus gave him a look that was far too knowing for a supposed dog.
"Not like that," Haiden clarified quickly. "Professionally important."
The hellhound's expression remained skeptical.
"Just... stay in corgi form," Haiden sighed as they approached Detective Moon. "And try not to judge any souls without permission."
Detective Moon's eyebrows rose as she spotted the corgi. "You brought a dog to my crime scene?"
"Emotional support animal," Haiden explained smoothly. "He has a very keen nose. Might help."
"This isn't a drug case, Mr. Black. It's a supernatural homicide."
"Trust me, Detective," Haiden replied with a smile that had once charmed Persephone herself, "this dog knows more about death than most mortals ever will."
Cerberus wagged his tail innocently, the perfect picture of an ordinary, non-hellish canine companion.
Detective Moon looked unconvinced but too tired to argue. "Fine. But if he contaminates my crime scene, you're both out."
As they ducked under the police tape, Haiden felt a familiar shimmer in the air. Another quest was coming. Another step in whatever game his father was playing.
For now, though, he had a murder to solve, a hellhound to train, and a detective to impress, all while maintaining his cover as a merely eccentric billionaire rather than the God of Death on vacation.
Just another day in retirement.