When I opened my eyes this morning, I expected another round of chaos. Perhaps an argument between Seraphina and Drakana over breakfast etiquette. Maybe Lilia bursting into my room with a bridal veil and fifty new reasons why I had no choice but to marry her this weekend. Or Rosette, my yandere maid, silently slipping into my sheets to "adjust my body temperature for optimal healing."
I was wrong.
It was worse.
A small, transparent blue window hovered directly in front of my face.
[SYSTEM UPGRADE COMPLETE!]
[New Feature Unlocked: Affection Meter (Beta)]
[Now you can see how much the girls love you… and how likely they are to kill for you (or kill you).]
[Current Readout: WARNING—ALL TARGETS AT MAXIMUM AFFECTION LEVEL. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION.]
…Oh no.
"Good morning, Master Rei," purred Rosette's voice from beside my bed, startling me.
I bolted upright. She was already there, kneeling gracefully with a silver tray of morning tea. Her smile was gentle. Her aura? Bloodthirsty restraint dipped in lavender.
The System's interface flickered again:
[Rosette: MAX (Color: Crimson-Red) – Status: Calm, Smiling, Considering How to Poison All Rivals]
Rosette tilted her head. "You're sweating, Master. Did you have a nightmare?"
"No—no, I'm fine." I forced a nervous smile. "Just... warm."
"Then I'll loosen your shirt for you\~"
Before I could protest, she was already unbuttoning the top of my sleepwear with disturbingly surgical precision.
The door slammed open.
"BACK OFF, MAID!" roared Drakana, tail lashing behind her. "It's my turn to bring breakfast!"
[Drakana: MAX (Color: Fiery-Red) – Status: Jealous, Slightly Scorched the Doorframe, Considering a Midair Abduction]
"Master should start his day with protein," Drakana declared, stepping forward in full battle regalia—though it was notably missing pants. "I hunted a wyvern for you at dawn. Raw, of course. For virility."
"OH GODS, PLEASE NO RAW WYVERN."
"Cooked then," she offered without hesitation. "Over fire breath."
Rosette stood, calm as a storm at sea. "Master Rei requested tea. Protein can wait."
"You wanna fight, apron girl?"
"I will kill you with this teaspoon."
"YOU CAN TRY!"
Before I could scream for peace—or a butler—I noticed another glowing window appear over Drakana's head.
[DANGER ZONE—DUEL IMMINENT]
[Proximity Alert: Seraphina Approaching Fast. Detonation in 3... 2...]
The wall exploded.
"ENOUGH!" shouted Princess Seraphina, stepping through the rubble like a radiant goddess of murder and monarchy.
[Seraphina: MAX (Color: Rose-Gold flashing Red) – Status: Offended by the Idea of Rivals, Plans to Annex Entire Kitchen]
"I heard shouting," she said, dusting rubble off her silken dress. "And I smelled—ugh—dragon breath. Disgusting."
"Excuse me?" Drakana flared. "He licked my scales yesterday! He loves me!"
"Under duress!" Seraphina declared, producing a scroll. "Also, according to this new decree I wrote last night, 'Only fiancées of royal lineage may enter Rei's bedchambers before noon.'"
"I'm not reading your fake laws again," I muttered under my breath.
[New Mission Alert!]
[MISSION: ESCAPE THE BEDROOM WITHOUT GETTING ENGAGED (AGAIN)]
[Difficulty: Impossible]
[Reward: Brief Peace and 20 EXP]
I dove for the door—just as it opened on its own.
"Silly little brother," Lilia cooed, standing in the doorway in a white bridal gown she absolutely had not been wearing earlier. "You're not going anywhere until you do your tuxedo fitting\~"
[Lilia: MAX (Color: Blood-Ruby) – Status: Bridal Mode, Vows Memorized in Seven Languages, Venues Reserved]
"You can't have a wedding with a corpse," I wheezed, backed into the wall by her aggressive lace.
"Then stay alive," she smiled sweetly. "And marry me quickly."
"I OBJECT!" yelled Seraphina.
"You don't get to object to someone else's wedding!" Lilia snapped.
Drakana cracked her knuckles. "If anyone's dying first, it's me and him. In a dragon-style mutual death pact."
"THIS ESCALATED FAST."
I turned my face upward, begging the ceiling for help. That's when I saw the System's main display shift into a new mode.
The Affection Meter now glowed over all the girls' heads—bright, pulsing, blinding.
Lilia: MAX++
Seraphina: MAX++
Drakana: MAX++
Rosette: MAX++
And all blinking.
[BLINKING RED = OBSESSION LEVEL: DANGEROUS]
[SURVIVAL TIPS: Compliment all of them equally. Never show fear. NEVER sneeze near a proposal.]
That last one seemed oddly specific.
"I need air!" I cried, vaulting over the foot of my bed. "Let me outside! Just for five minutes!"
"Only if I'm your escort," Seraphina purred.
"I'll carry you," Drakana offered, already in dragon-scale boots.
"I'll clean the entire forest so it's sterile before you walk," Rosette whispered like a war general.
"I'll call it our honeymoon," Lilia added, eyes glowing like rubies under moonlight.
I screamed inside.
Then I remembered something. Something the System had mentioned during that very first "Welcome to Hell" message.
There was one feature. One saving grace.
[Emergency Escape Word Enabled. Use with Caution.]
[Keyword: "Reset."]
I closed my eyes and whispered, "Reset."
System window: [Invalid Command. Reset is currently locked due to High Affection Overload.]
"OF COURSE IT IS."
I ducked under Rosette's tea tray, side-rolled over Drakana's tail, body-checked Seraphina, and dodged Lilia's bridal veil like it was a holy weapon.
I made it halfway to the door.
Then I saw her.
The Demon Queen.
Lucivella was leaning casually against the frame of the exit, sipping wine and wearing a devilish smile.
"I see you've discovered the Affection Meter," she said smoothly.
"Let me guess. Yours is also maxed out."
She grinned. "Wrong. Mine broke the scale."
The meter above her head simply read:
[Lucivella: ∞]
[Status: God-Empress of All Wives – Endgame Unlocked]
Everyone froze. The room went dead silent.
Lucivella clapped once.
"Girls. Let's all calm down and remember who truly deserves Rei's eternal love."
"You?" asked Seraphina incredulously.
"You?" asked Lilia murderously.
"You?" hissed Rosette softly, now behind me somehow.
"ME," Lucivella smiled, as horns began to grow from her crown.
I took a long, deep breath.
Then the System chimed again.
[New Feature Installed: Heartquake Counter]
[Every time a girl gets too close, your heart rate will increase. At 200 bpm, you faint.]
[You are currently at: 189 bpm]
I collapsed.
Lucivella caught me effortlessly.
"Poor darling," she cooed, stroking my hair. "Can't handle a little affection?"
As I faded into unconsciousness, I muttered the only word I could.
"Help."
The last thing I saw was every meter blinking red and a small confetti animation from the System.
[Congratulations! You survived another day!]
[...barely.]
To be continued…