If someone had told me last week that I'd be escorting a literal Shadow Queen to a mall for bubble tea, I'd have called them crazy.
But here I was… standing in front of Sunbeam City Mall, dripping with anxiety instead of rain this time.
And next to me?
The Walking Disaster Herself.
She strutted confidently through the automatic glass doors, still wearing my oversized hoodie like it was some enchanted royal robe. Her long, golden hair flowed behind her like a VIP red carpet, and her bare legs flashed dangerously beneath the hem of the hoodie.
Every man within a ten-meter radius turned to look.
Every woman gave me that "How did THIS loser land HER?" death glare.
I tugged awkwardly at my damp hoodie sleeve.
"Your Majesty… maybe we should keep a low profile?" I whispered.
She turned slightly, a wicked smile dancing on her lips.
"Why hide when I can dominate?"
Before I could argue, she marched toward the food court, her royal presence parting the crowd like she was Moses and this was the Bubble Tea Exodus.
Five minutes later…
She stood in front of the bubble tea counter, eyes gleaming like a dragon who just found its favorite treasure hoard.
"I desire… this mystical elixir. Large. With double pearls. And that glowing jelly thing."
The teenage cashier, who clearly didn't get paid enough for this level of drama, blinked slowly.
"Uh… you mean the neon star jelly?"
She placed a single, perfectly manicured finger on the glass counter.
"Exactly. And make it the sweetest one you have. I command it."
The cashier leaned toward me and whispered, "Bro… is this some TikTok prank or what?"
I sighed.
"I wish it was."
As we waited for her order, disaster inevitably struck.
A group of loud, wannabe influencers showed up with their phones out, livestreaming everything.
"Ohhh snap! Who's this beauty? Yo, check out her cosplay drip!" one of them shouted, turning his camera directly on the Shadow Queen.
Before I could intervene, she turned around slowly…
Her crimson eyes glowed faintly.
"Do you wish to forget this moment… or your own name?" she said softly, her voice layered with something ancient and terrifying.
The influencers froze like their souls had left their bodies. One guy dropped his phone.
"I… I think my mom's calling," he stammered, before sprinting away like his life depended on it.
The Shadow Queen turned back to me, completely unfazed.
"Annoying insects. Now, where's my bubble tea?"
Two minutes later…
She took one sip and immediately let out a satisfied sigh that honestly should've been illegal in public spaces.
"Sweet… icy… perfection," she murmured, eyes half-closed as she savored the drink.
"Glad Your Highness is pleased," I muttered.
She glanced at me, a mischievous sparkle in her eye.
"You've done well, Caretaker. And for that… I shall reward you."
"Oh? Like a raise in my nonexistent salary?" I joked.
She leaned in close—too close—and whispered against my ear.
"You may call me by my real name… if you can guess it."
My brain short-circuited.
Her real name?
Before I could respond, she was already walking away, sipping her bubble tea like she hadn't just dropped a Level 99 flirt bomb on me.
And that's when I realized…
I wasn't just fighting for survival anymore.
I was fighting to keep my sanity.
To be continued…