You'd think my dignity had already hit rock bottom.
Standing in the middle of my own cursed apartment, wearing a frilly maid outfit, cat ears jingling like a tragic anime mascot, and butchering "My Heart Will Go On" in front of literal demon royalty? Yeah, that should've been the worst moment of my life.
But no.
Fate, it seemed, wasn't done humiliating me.
It all started with the second teapot.
The Shadow Queen, with that ever-present smirk, casually poured a strange, shimmering purple liquid into the demons' cups.
"Your Majesty," I muttered under my breath, eyeing the suspicious brew, "what exactly… is that?"
She sipped from her own teacup, her crimson eyes glowing faintly.
"A vintage elixir from the Shadow Realm. One sip relaxes the soul. Two sips… well, things get interesting."
I didn't even have time to process that before Guest #1—the towering, horned demon lord named Veylor—downed his cup in one gulp.
His eyes widened.
His cheeks flushed bright red.
He slammed the cup onto the table with a booming laugh that made my apartment walls shake.
"This… This is the nectar of chaos!" he bellowed. "Bring me more!"
The tiny chibi demon perched on his shoulder tried to intervene, tugging on his ear.
"Lord Veylor! Restraint! We're in the human realm!"
But it was too late.
With alarming speed for a seven-foot demon, Veylor was already staggering toward the karaoke machine I didn't even know I owned—courtesy of the Shadow Queen's "minor spatial adjustments."
"Caretaker!" the Queen called sweetly from her seat. "I believe it's your duty to supply our honored guest with a performance partner."
My knees buckled. "You can't be serious…"
She crossed her legs elegantly, resting her chin in her palm.
"Deadly serious."
Before I could flee, Veylor threw one massive arm around my shoulders, nearly collapsing my spine, and shoved a second mic into my trembling hands.
"I LIKE THIS HUMAN!" he roared. "TOGETHER, WE SING THE SONG OF VICTORY!"
"Please, no—"
But the opening bars of Eye of the Tiger blasted through the room, and my suffering officially reached legendary status.
And that's when things went from embarrassing to catastrophic.
Guest #2—the icy beauty named Lady Eira—finally finished her second cup of that cursed purple elixir. Her calm, controlled demeanor shattered like glass.
She stood up, gracefully at first… until she dramatically flipped the tea table over with a flick of her fingers.
"THIS PARTY LACKS DIGNITY!" she declared. "And also… snacks. WHERE ARE THE MORTAL SNACKS?!"
Her eyes locked onto me with the intensity of a starving tiger.
"YOU! Cat-eared servant! BRING ME THE SACRED CHEESE PUFFS!"
I stumbled backward in terror.
"I—I don't have any!"
Her face went pale. The temperature in the room dropped by at least ten degrees.
"You DARE host a royal tea party… without cheese puffs?!"
The lights flickered ominously. Frost began to creep up the windows.
The Shadow Queen just sat back, sipping her tea like she was watching a drama unfold exactly as planned.
In a last-ditch effort to survive, I did what any desperate man in a maid outfit would do—I threw a pack of instant noodles at her feet and bowed like my life depended on it.
"Great Lady Eira! Please accept this humble substitute!"
She stared at the noodles.
The entire room fell silent.
And then… she picked up the pack, hugged it to her chest, and sighed dramatically.
"Fine. You live… for now."
Meanwhile, Lord Veylor had climbed onto the coffee table, still bellowing the lyrics to Eye of the Tiger, with me dragged along for the chorus.
And just when I thought the chaos had peaked…
The Shadow Queen clapped her hands once.
The lights dimmed.
"Well then," she purred, her eyes glowing like twin rubies in the dark. "Now that everyone's warmed up… it's time for the real entertainment."
I gulped.
Oh no.
Oh hell no.
To be continued…