Thud!
Crash!
Thwack!
The final kick sent the crimson-eyed man crumpling to the ground. His assailant—his own twin brother—stood over him, panting with rage.
He didn't look satisfied. Not even with his fists already smeared in blood that wasn't his own.
"Always, always, you take everything from me!"
"You stole Father and Mother, my friends, all my happiness!" he screamed, as if he alone had the right to claim them.
"Your happiness?" murmured the crimson-eyed one—Halilintar. His face was battered, the corner of his lip split and bleeding.
But a thousand pains wouldn't break him. Halilintar still tried to rise, even as his brother reared back for another blow.
"Hey, Halilintar… You feel proud now, don't you? Top of the class?"
Halilintar ignored the pain, pushing himself up as if it were routine. He managed to sit up, fully expecting Solar to strike again.
And just as predicted, those storm-gray eyes burned hotter.
"Answer me, damn it!" Solar roared, uncaring of the audience they might attract.
"Solar, calm down—"
"Who gave you the right to order me around?!" Enraged, Solar yanked Halilintar up by his collar.
"You'll draw a crowd…" Halilintar whispered, wincing.
"I don't care! Let them see how weak you are! You're just a pathetic loser pretending to be smart!"
"A dog's worth more than you!"
Slowly, Halilintar clasped Solar's wrist—the one gripping his shirt. No matter the insults, he only wanted to soothe his brother.
"Solar, control yourself… You don't really want this, do you?"
Solar's pupils dilated. The fog of rage lifted just enough for him to see: Halilintar's split lip, the bruises on his legs—all *his* doing.
This wasn't what he'd wanted.
His grip slackened. His eyes welled up with realization.
"Sor—"
"What the hell are you doing, Solar?!"
A group of their classmates rushed in. Solar's unshed tears scattered midair as one of them—a boy with cornflower-blue eyes—shoved him to the ground.
"Have you lost your mind?!"
"This time, you've gone too far!" another snapped, helping Halilintar up.
"Wait, you don't underst—" Halilintar tried to explain, but they cut him off.
"Understand what?! You're still defending him after this?!" shouted the orange-eyed boy.
Halilintar staggered toward Solar, but his friends held him back. Then his legs gave out—Blaze and Taufan caught him before he hit the floor.
They hauled Halilintar to the nearest hospital, leaving Solar alone on the bloodied pavement.
"Hahaha… Even my so-called friends are on his side now."
"Halilintar… That bastard deserves to die."
At the hospital, Halilintar was treated for his wounds. The doctor assured his friends he could leave once he woke up.
[What keeps you standing?]
"Promise me we'll always stay together?"
"Of course! Just like Father and Mother!"
---
"We're divorcing."
"Fine! Take your kids—I'm done raising them!"
---
"The boys will live with me."
"What?! No! I won't tolerate anything tied to your ex-wife!"
"But—"
---
"Halilintar, Solar, you'll stay here with the other kids, okay?"
"You and Mother will visit, right?"
"Father will check on you often. Don't worry."
But they never came. Five years passed without a single visit.
Father only sent money for school. That wasn't what we wanted.
My name is Halilintar. I have a twin brother named Solar. We're sixteen now.
Sometimes I wonder: After the divorce, why did it feel like neither side wanted us?
Were we mistakes? Unwelcome from the start?
I'd ask them one thing if I ever saw them again:
"Why did you throw us away?"
If no one wants us… At least take Solar. I can survive alone, but he can't. He's breaking without you.
"Halilintar, Solar, be perfect."
"If Solar's perfect, will mom stay?"
"Yes."
Solar lost his smile because of you. And when it happens, I'm the only one who stays to calm him.
I once said I could live alone. But now… I can't bear to lose anyone else.
No one understands Solar like I do. I love him, even when he hurts me. I just want him to smile like he used to.
[Not real—just a fleeting dream.]
"Where am I?" Halilintar's eyes fluttered open to an unfamiliar ceiling.
"The hospital," answered Gempa.
Halilintar jolted upright—
"Halilintar! You're hurt—stop moving!" Blaze (orange eyes) pinned him down.
"Wake up! He doesn't even care about you!" Taufan (cornflower-blue) joined in.
"No… You don't get it—let me go!" Halilintar thrashed weakly.
Outnumbered and injured, he had no choice but to lie still as his friends ranted. His thoughts stayed fixed on Solar.
He had to get away.
[The spellbinding words]
"Halilintar, Solar, be perfect."
"If Solar's perfect, will mom stay?"
"Yes."
The only words I ever believed.
Hey, I'm Solar. Sixteen years old. I have a twin—Halilintar, my "elder" by seven minutes.
The one thing I never imagined? Our parents divorcing and abandoning us.
I started to think they left because I wasn't enough. Not like Halilintar, who outshone me in everything.
So I vowed to become flawless.
I studied relentlessly, bullied anyone who surpassed me. Halilintar always stopped me, though—like he knew where I'd be.
That's why I never got in trouble. But kids still avoided me.
And when Halilintar himself outdid me? That's when I snapped.
"Be perfect."
That's all I cling to. Mother will return if I'm number one. If she doesn't… I'm still lacking.
She'll come back, right? I'll prove myself this semester.
[Narcissism]
Meanwhile, at the hospital, Halilintar's friends lingered. Blaze and Taufan played games; Gempa dozed off. Halilintar pretended to sleep.
He needed to escape. Solar couldn't be alone right now.
"I still don't get it. Solar did this because you ranked first?" Gempa muttered.
Halilintar turned away. Explaining was pointless.
Solar sat on the rooftop, watching the sunset.
"Years without a word… Are they happy now?"
"Did tossing us away fix their lives?"
Tears fell. The sky blazed gold, but Solar's heart was black.
"Everyone leaves… Halilintar, please… Don't you too."
"I'm sorry…"
"Sorry for being a burden…"
"What nonsense? My life's emptier without you causing trouble."
A voice—his voice. Solar whirled around.
Halilintar stood there, bruised but smiling. He'd slipped out while his friends weren't looking.
"You're here?"
"I'm always by your side."
Solar broke down. Halilintar pulled him into a hug.
"I'm… s-sorry…"
"I'll always forgive you. So don't give up. We'll try again tomorrow, okay?"
Solar has narcissistic personality disorder. He craves praise, needs to be the best. It stems from depression—and our mother's twisted words.
I've taken him to therapy, but progress is slow.
We live in an orphanage now. Father left us here years ago.
In their shared room, Solar watched Halilintar change clothes.
"What?" Halilintar caught his stare.
"Nothing. Does it still hurt?"
"A bit."
Solar cleared his throat.
"Thinking about them?"
"…Maybe."
Halilintar rubbed Solar's back. A silent promise: I'm here.