> "They say love is a battlefield.
I say it's a glitchy, bloodstained school with 12 bodies in the locker room and a girl with a knife asking if you like her hair."
— The Blank One, currently hiding in a bush
---
[Mission Briefing – System Lounge, Now With Safety Helmets]
A new banner sparkled above the team:
> "OPERATION DUMBASS: MISSION 2 – YANDERE APOCALYPSE"
(subtitle: Love Is Stored In The Knife)
MC (nervous, trying to maintain leadership):
> "Alright. So. We've got a world infected by a corrupted dating sim framework.
The Outer God has possessed the Yandere Route.
Every choice you make… escalates obsession.
Reject her? You die.
Accept her? You die slower."
Kazuma:
> "You're saying the villain is a girl who stabs you if you say no?"
Deadpool:
> "Finally. A relatable antagonist."
Rimuru:
> "I just want to clarify: how many waifus are we dealing with?"
MC:
> "Twelve. All corrupted. All in love with you.
And all capable of summoning reality-breaking murder skills when emotionally unstable."
Tsunade:
> "...So basically high school."
---
[Location: LoveU Academy – Dating Sim World]
The team spawned inside a glittery, pastel-painted anime high school courtyard.
Hearts floated through the air.
A narrator voice droned:
> "Welcome, transfer student-kun! All the girls want your heart! Will you choose the right one?"
Buggy (screaming):
> "WHY IS EVERYTHING PINK?! WHY IS THE SUN WINKING AT ME?!"
Artoria (gripping sword):
> "This world offends me on every philosophical level."
Esdeath (licking lips):
> "I like it. All this love and blood… feels familiar."
---
[The Yandere Appears – Hostile Waifu Mode Engaged]
A girl materialized in a school uniform soaked in essence and glitter.
Eyes glowing.
Blade hidden behind her back.
> "Senpai… you talked to someone else.
I don't like that."
MC (backing away):
> "We've entered her final route already.
We skipped straight to Bad End 9: Marry Me Or Die Screaming."
Saitama:
> "I'm not good with feelings. Can I just punch her?"
MC:
> "NO. You'll trigger her rage multiplier."
---
[Kazuma's Plan – Accidentally Genius Again]
Kazuma (panicking):
> "What if we redirect her affection?!
Like—force the dating sim to auto-lock on Deadpool?!"
Deadpool (sipping bubble tea):
> "I'm flattered. But my heart belongs to chimichangas."
MC (hacking the dialogue system):
> "Redirecting… redirecting…
Congratulations. New target acquired: Wade."
---
[System Dialogue – "Yandere Girl A" now loves Deadpool]
> "Wade-senpai… I made you lunch. It's your spleen. Do you love it?!"
Deadpool (sweating):
> "AHAHAHA okay wow that's a lot of clingy affection. I'm actually scared."
Rimuru:
> "Her love aura is peaking. If she gets any closer, this world will explode into glitter and dismemberment."
---
[Plan Final Phase – Execute the Breakup Protocol]
MC:
> "Saitama. Punch the air. Just enough to startle her. Not kill."
Saitama (sighs):
> "This feels like cheating on my grocery run."
Punch.
Time slowed.
A breeze passed.
Her hair swayed.
She blinked.
> "Senpai… you made my heart skip a beat."
She imploded.
Into a pink explosion of rejection particles.
---
[Mission Complete]
> +7 Talent Points
+3500 Coins
Reward:
Skill: "Emotional Evasion (Lv.1)" – Automatically dodges romantic flags, harem triggers, or confession cutscenes.
---
[Back in System Lounge – Group Therapy]
Deadpool:
> "I was stalked by a bloodthirsty love balloon. I need therapy. And tacos."
Buggy (hiding in a trash can):
> "They kissed my wanted poster. I'M TRAUMATIZED."
Kazuma:
> "I want to go back to being useless. I was safe there."
MC (rubbing temples):
> "Next time, we deal with a corrupted rhythm game universe.
With dance battles. And sentient music notes."
Saitama:
> "...Can I sit that one out?"
MC:
> "No."
---