The morning started innocently enough — a crisp breeze drifted through the open window of the guild's common hall, the smell of Kaela's cinnamon rolls wafting through the air. Birds chirped. A squirrel scampered across the balcony rail. Peaceful. Perfect.
Until MC found the envelope.
He blinked, still groggy from last night's failed "team karaoke exercise," which had ended with a possessed microphone and a cursed rendition of Careless Whisper. Rubbing his eyes, he picked up the envelope sitting neatly on his breakfast plate.
A single pink heart was drawn on the front.
"…Oh no."
He flipped it over. No name. Just sweet, careful handwriting inside:
"Seeing you every day makes my heart flutter like a wind spell gone wrong. I know I'm not good with words, but… I like you. Please meet me by the cherry blossom tree tonight. Yours, Truly."
MC sat frozen. He scanned the room. Everyone was eating like nothing happened. Kaela was flipping pancakes. Iris was reading. Lina was sharpening her spear. Ciel was pretending not to glance at him every five seconds. Luna was meditating with suspicious calm.
And there it was — a stack of five more envelopes on the windowsill.
"…Oh no no no."
Each letter was written differently — different styles, inks, even perfume. One was on rose paper. One had glitter that exploded on contact. Another was folded into a tiny origami dragon that bit him.
Six love letters. All anonymous.
He considered throwing them into the void and pretending none of this happened.
Instead, he did the stupid thing.
He replied.
With his own anonymous letters.
Now, to his credit, MC tried to be thoughtful. He wrote each reply with vague "appreciation of your kindness" and "I'm flattered but confused" phrases, hoping to gently reject or delay whatever was going on.
Except… he mixed up the letters.
And sent them.
And accidentally confirmed three dates for the exact same evening.
—
The sun dipped below the horizon, and MC stood nervously near the cherry blossom tree, clutching what he called his "apology bag" — filled with backup gifts, snacks, and a fireproof barrier charm.
First to arrive was Kaela, looking unusually bashful in a soft blue cloak.
"Oh," she said, blinking. "You… came."
MC panicked. "Kaela! Haha! Funny bumping into you here, on this totally random cherry tree spot! You know, very scenic. Great for, uh… standing."
Kaela smiled, cheeks pink. "So… you got my letter?"
His soul left his body for the second time that week.
Before he could respond, a voice echoed behind them. "You got whose letter?"
MC turned slowly. Lina, in a surprisingly elegant black tunic, stood with a single rose in hand and a gaze that could melt steel.
Kaela raised an eyebrow. "Wait. You sent a letter?"
"No," Lina said flatly. "I received his reply."
Kaela's jaw dropped.
MC began edging toward a tree root like it could teleport him.
"Oh dear," came a third voice. Luna, in a silver evening dress, floated down with silent steps. "I see we have a… scheduling conflict."
Kaela, Lina, and Luna stared at each other.
Then at him.
"Okay," MC blurted. "Funny story—"
Ciel dropped out of a tree, sword already unsheathed. "I KNEW you were hiding something."
"You were spying on me?!"
"I was monitoring dangerous romantic activity! There's a difference!"
Iris appeared next, adjusting her glasses. "I calculated a 73% chance you'd misdeliver the letters. I came to observe the outcome. For science."
Kaela looked like she was trying not to laugh.
Lina looked like she was about to declare a duel.
Luna just looked delighted.
"What exactly did your letter say to me, hmm?" Luna asked, stepping closer.
MC broke into a full-body sweat. "Uh… that… your tea selections were… majestic?"
"Majestic, he says," she whispered with an amused smirk.
"I demand clarity," Ciel growled. "What did you write to each of us?"
Kaela raised a hand. "Mine said he always admired my inner warmth. I cried for three hours."
"Mine said he's enchanted by my strength and can't stop thinking about me," Lina added flatly. "I nearly set my room on fire."
"He told me I made the stars look dull," Luna purred. "Poetic. Slightly unoriginal. But effective."
"I got a half-burnt parchment that said 'I like your brain,'" Iris noted. "Acceptable."
Ciel's eye twitched. "I GOT NOTHING."
Everyone turned.
MC winced. "That's not better, is it?"
"No," Ciel said, brandishing her sword. "It's so much worse."
What followed was chaos. Half-flirtations. Half-threats. At one point Kaela and Luna decided to co-write a musical about it. Lina threatened to duel him and then herself for good measure. Ciel challenged the letters to a swordfight. Iris attempted to calculate which response would've led to the least amount of drama and concluded "not existing" was the optimal move.
Eventually, Kaela pulled out a bottle of enchanted wine and everyone sat in a confused, semi-romantic circle around the tree. They shared their letters, compared handwriting, and collectively realized they were all absurdly into the same idiot.
MC sat in the middle, face buried in his hands. "I am never touching stationary again."
The System pinged with perfect timing:
[Affection Event Triggered: "Love Letter Roulette"][Bond Level +5 with Kaela, Lina, Luna, Iris][Ciel's Bond Level: ?? Pending Judgment][Hidden Trait Unlocked: "Romantic Disaster Magnet"]
Luna clinked her glass with his. "Next time, just kiss us all at once. Save everyone the trouble."
Ciel sputtered. "Excuse me—"
Kaela smiled sweetly. "Let's vote on it."
MC's scream echoed across the hills.
END OF CHAPTER 86