Yamete Kimochi sat cross-legged on the floating "Start Menu button", staring at his hands like they might suddenly sprout coding magic. The wireframe world around him pulsed gently, waiting.
"So," he said slowly, "let me get this straight. I'm not just some NEET who got isekai'd—I'm the 'actual developer' of this dumpster fire?"
GLich-chan, now hovering in her full, un-glitched form (which suspiciously resembled a chibi-fied version of his old IDE mascot), nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! You rage-quit development three years ago after the publisher demanded microtransactions for 'breathing' in-game."
A memory flickered—Yamete screaming at a monitor, deleting half the source code in a fit of pettiness, then passing out on his keyboard. He groaned. "That... sounds like me."
The debug console loomed in the distance, frozen mid-purge. GLich-chan poked it. "Good news! Since you're the admin, you can fix this mess. Bad news..." She gestured to the crumbling world. "We're kinda on a deadline."
---
Yamete cracked his knuckles. "Alright. First order of business—delete that stupid Golem."
He reached toward the frozen console—and immediately faceplanted into the code.
"Ow! What the hell?"
GLich-chan sighed. "You can't just 'click' things here. You have to 'cheat'."
A familiar menu popped up:
[Cheat Engine - Developer Edition]
1. Noclip Editing (Phase through code layers)
2. Mass Find/Replace (Fix bugs globally... mostly)
3. Undo Last Commit (The forbidden button)
Yamete selected "Mass Find/Replace" and typed:
`Find: Glitched_Golem.exe`
`Replace With: Literally_Anything_Else.dll`
The world shuddered. Somewhere in the distance, a distorted scream faded into the sound of a Windows error chime.
[Success!]
[+500 Debug Points]
[Achievement Unlocked: "First Step to Not Being a Hack"]
---
Fixing the rest of the world proved... 'problematic'.
- Attempt #1: Yamete tried to repair the bridge properly. Instead, he accidentally gave it "procedural generation", causing it to grow new sections randomly—including one that led directly into a sheep.
- Attempt #2: He fixed the NPC dialogue... only for every character to now speak exclusively in "auto-generated patch notes".
- "Hotfix: Added collision to rocks (sorry)."
- "Balance Update: Reduced wolf aggression by 5%. Maybe."
- Attempt #3: He deleted the infamous "Spoon Sword" glitch... which somehow turned 'all' weapons into kitchenware.
GLich-chan facepalmed. "You're 'worse' than the original bugs."
Yamete grinned. "But more entertaining."
---
While testing the physics fixes (by throwing a rock at a tree and watching it turn into a fish), Yamete noticed something odd—a tiny "Wi-Fi icon" blinking in the corner of his vision.
"No way." He poked it.
[Connection Established: Backdoor Server Access]
[Upload Patch? Y/N]
GLich-chan gasped. "You can push updates 'from inside the game'? That's like preheating an oven 'while you're inside it'!"
Yamete hesitated. "If I do this... will the world reset?"
"Nope! But it 'will' make the debug console 'really' mad."
As if on cue, the frozen console began to 'vibrate', cracks spreading through its frozen text.
[WARNING: UNAUTHORIZED PATCH DETECTED]
Yamete smirked. "Too bad." He hit "Y".
---
The patch notes scrolled into existence above them:
[Version 1.1 - "Sorry About That"]
- Removed: Glitched Golem (good riddance)
- Fixed: Bridges now connect to actual locations (mostly)
- Added: Proper NPC dialogue (no more T-posing)
- Balanced: Spoon weapons now deal 'emotional' damage
- Secret: Added a hidden "GLich-chan appreciation quest"
The world 'shimmered'. Colors brightened. Trees un-glitched. Somewhere, a wolf howled in perfect stereo sound.
And then—
[Patch Uploaded Successfully]
[Players: 1 (You)]
[Rating: 5/5 ("Better than launch")]
---
As the debug console finally shattered, Yamete turned to GLich-chan. "So... what now?"
She grinned. "Now? We playtest." A new quest popped up:
[New Main Quest: "Make a Proper Game This Time"]
- Step 1: Stop using Cheat Engine as a crutch
- Step 2: Actually finish the story
- Reward: Self-respect (maybe)
Yamete laughed. "Deal. But first—" He opened the cheat menu one last time.
> Delete Cheat Engine? (Y/N)
He hovered over it... then closed the menu. "Nah. Let's keep it as an 'easter egg'."
GLich-chan facepalmed again as the credits rolled—except they were just a scrolling list of Yamete's old bug reports, each one marked "Fixed (Finally)".