One Month Later
Yamete Kimochi sat on his newly-acquired "Throne of Spoons" (a gift from players who insisted he deserved it) in the town square, watching his creation thrive in beautiful chaos. The chickens had been downgraded from 'revolutionary leaders' to 'slightly aggressive pets', the blacksmith had gotten his anvil back (though it now occasionally sang opera), and players had finally stopped trying to marry inanimate objects—mostly.
GLich-chan zoomed in, now sporting a tiny golden crown made of error messages. "Breaking news! The publisher just messaged again!" She projected the email:
- From: Not-The-Lawyers-Trust-Us@BigGameCo.fake
- Subject: WE ARE NOT SUING (Please Call Us)
- Body: Dear Mr. Kimochi, we would like to discuss monetizing the spoon meta—
Yamete deleted it with a flick. "Nope."
A player ran up, panting. "Admin Yamete! The new 'emotional damage' stat is making NPCs cry during quests!"
Yamete shrugged. "Sounds like a feature."
---
In a hidden chamber beneath the clocktower (accessed by clipping through a painting of a cheese wedge), Yamete's 'real' workspace lay in organized chaos:
- Wall of Shame: Screenshots of the worst pre-patch bugs
- "Do Not Fix" List:
- Spoon physics (too iconic)
- Chicken intelligence (they're watching us)
- GLich-chan's sass (impossible)
- Future DLC Ideas:
- "Marry the Debug Console" Romance Route
- "GLich-chan's Day Off" Side Story
GLich-chan flopped onto a pile of pixelated cushions. "So. What's next, oh glorious admin?"
Yamete smirked. "Volume 2."
---
As the screen faded to black, a familiar '56k modem screech' echoed. Text flickered:
---
A shadowy figure watched Glitchvale from a corrupted monitor, muttering: "Yamete Kimochi... you fixed 'your' world. But can you handle mine?"
---
A glitched document labeled "GLich-chan's True Origin" flashed briefly before Yamete's cat (now added in Patch 1.3) sat on it.
---
The last shot panned to Yamete's desk, where a single spoon rested on a handwritten note:
"To the next idiot who tries to 'fix' this game—
Good luck. You'll need it.
- Yamete "Spoon Savior" Kimochi"
< THE END...? >