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Chapter 131 - 124) I love you guys, so I won't kill you

(A/N: YOU GOT THE CHAPTER! NOW GIVE ME POWERSTONES!)

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{3rd Pov}

Subaru tried.

He really, really tried.

He put in everything he could, he fought, he struggled, he died more times than he could count, but no matter what he did, no matter how desperately he pushed forward, the result was always the same failure.

It didn't matter how many times he screamed, how many times he cried, or how many times he clawed his way back through Return by Death.

The ending was unchanged.

"You are but a madman."

"There is nothing of value that you can give me."

"What you showed me wasn't loyalty at all, but the disgusting greed of a pig."

Those voices kept replaying in his ears. Every word carved into his mind.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why did it have to end like this every single time?

Why was he so damn weak?

Why did everyone he cared about have to die in front of him, again and again?

Betelgeuse's twisted laughter rang in his skull, the sound echoing endlessly as he remembered the sight of Rem's limbs being snapped one by one.

Emilia's lifeless body haunted his vision, her death forever etched into his memory no matter how much he tried to look away.

Then there was Puck—towering, monstrous Puck—mocking him, insulting him, before mercilessly freezing him until the warmth of life was completely gone.

And after everything, Subaru finally realized the truth.

He was the problem.

It wasn't the world, it wasn't fate, it wasn't bad luck—it was him.

He was the weak link.

He was the one ruining everything.

Nothing could be fixed, because there was never anything he was capable of fixing. No matter what situation he faced, no matter how many resets he got, he only ever made things worse.

Nobody trusted him. Emilia abandoned him. Puck personally ended his life. The Royal Candidates mocked him, humiliated him, rejected him, and then threw him away like trash. Even the simple act of trying to evacuate the villagers, even that small attempt to do something good, had failed miserably.

He was useless. Completely useless.

So in the end, Subaru gave up.

He quit.

He stopped trying to carry a burden he was never strong enough to lift in the first place.

And he turned to the only person who had never abandoned him, the only one who still believed in him, the only one who stayed.

"Let's run away, Rem," Subaru said, spitting out the most pathetic words of his entire life. Those words, spoken on that day, would end up being the choice that changed everything.

And she agreed. Of course she agreed. Why wouldn't she? She loved him with all her heart, and she was willing to follow him even if the path was pathetic, even if it was nothing but an escape.

Where would they go? He didn't know.

He had no plan, no grand idea, no solution.

All he knew was that he wanted to run. He wanted to leave all of it behind and keep running with her by his side.

So that's what they did.

They gathered together the few coins they had managed to save, whatever pitiful amount they could scrape up.

They booked a cheap carriage and left the Capital behind.

They didn't look back.

But the world wasn't kind enough to let them run away without pain.

During the journey, Rem's synesthesia flared up, and in that moment she realized the truth—her sister was dead.

Gone forever.

The realization shattered her, and she broke down crying in the middle of their escape.

Every single sob she let out stabbed into Subaru's heart like a knife.

He couldn't handle it.

He dropped to his knees and begged her for forgiveness.

He begged and begged, over and over again.

He begged for her forgiveness.

He begged for her sister's forgiveness.

He begged for everyone's forgiveness.

But nothing he said could change the fact that he had abandoned them all.

He was still the same pathetic coward who ran away instead of standing and fighting.

Rem eventually calmed herself down in front of him, but he knew it wasn't because her pain had faded.

It was because she didn't want to make him suffer more than he already was.

They ended up changing their wagon, and this time their driver was a demi-human—a dog-type demi-human with a rough but not unfriendly appearance.

Subaru fell asleep in the back of the wagon, still muttering apologies and begging for forgiveness even in his half-conscious state.

His voice was hoarse, his throat dry, but he couldn't stop. Meanwhile, Rem sat quietly, her own emotional state unstable, her tears not fully dried.

The demi-human wagoner noticed.

And unlike so many other encounters Subaru had endured in this cruel world—encounters that always seemed to end with him being hated, rejected, or outright killed simply for existing—this one was different.

This meeting, by some stroke of luck, would change their lives.

The demi-human recommended that they head to Banan, one of the cities in Kararagi.

With nowhere else to turn, no destination in mind, and no hope left in their chests, Subaru and Rem decided to try their luck and follow his advice.

And to their surprise, it actually worked. Things didn't become perfect, and their struggles didn't magically vanish, but at least this time something finally worked.

Well… at least for the most part.

Whereas Rem managed to quickly land herself a respectable position at a school, Subaru was struggling from the very beginning.

Thanks to her well-mannered etiquette, her polished speech, her ability with arithmetic, and just her overall diligence and discipline, Rem was considered reliable and refined enough to be entrusted with teaching and helping children.

People respected her almost immediately.

Subaru, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.

For him, finding stable work was like asking a cat to swim across an ocean.

For an entire year he wandered from one job to the next, constantly failing, constantly screwing things up in one way or another.

He'd get fired, quit, or be told to never show his face again.

No matter how much effort he put in, no matter how much he told himself "this time will be different," the result was the same.

He was a failure at almost everything.

And in Kararagi, things were even harder for him.

Physical labor—the type of job Subaru could at least hope to survive in—was dominated by demi-humans.

These people weren't just strong; they were so absurdly powerful that they could smash a house into rubble without breaking a sweat.

Next to them, Subaru, with his weak body that barely qualified as human by this world's standards, looked laughably unqualified.

Nobody wanted to hire some skinny human kid when a demi-human could do ten times the work without even blinking.

And if they did hired him, Subaru always managed to mess up the job.

But, despite his miserable string of failures, Subaru did end up making a few friends. 

One of the more memorable people he met was a man he came to know as Hu-san.

Hu-san, like Subaru, didn't have a steady job.

He was more or less a jobless drifter who loved to drink, and oddly enough he seemed to have much better luck earning money than Subaru ever did.

For someone who called himself jobless, Hu-san always had enough to pay for drinks, meals, and more.

The weird part, however, was how everyone else behaved around him.

Subaru noticed it more than once—people gave Hu-san looks that weren't exactly normal.

Some showed caution, some showed respect, and some acted like they were walking on eggshells around him.

It was strange, but Subaru brushed it off.

'Must be my imagination,' Subaru told himself. 'There's no way this guy, this lazy bum who looks completely unreliable at first glance, is someone important or respected. Right?'

RIGHT?!

But of course, Subaru's instincts were wrong. Totally wrong.

Because apparently, Hu-san was not some average bum at all.

He was actually Halibel—the strongest man in Kararagi.

Not only that, but thanks to Subaru's big mouth, Halibel had even picked up a new title.

Subaru had jokingly called him "Eternal Playboy" one time, and the idiot actually liked the sound of it so much that he adopted it.

He introduced himself like that, proudly, which made Subaru want to slam his head against a wall in embarrassment.

So how did Subaru even discover Hu-san's real identity in the first place?

It all started when Subaru finally managed to land a job that he thought might actually suit him.

It was a strange job, not because of the work itself, but because of his position there.

Subaru soon realized that he was the only male worker in a building full of female employees. And that fact alone came with its own kind of hell.

Within just the first week, Subaru had been harassed more than he could have ever imagined. His butt was touched so many times he lost count.

A thousand?

Two thousand?

It felt like every single middle-aged woman or old granny in the workplace had taken their turn groping him.

And if that wasn't enough, even some men joined in! Every single one of them praised his butt, like he had been hired specifically as an object for admiration instead of a worker.

"Damn it!" Subaru thought. "Why me? Why my ass!?"

But he forced himself to endure.

He clenched his teeth, forced a smile, and pushed through the humiliation.

Why? Because he needed this job.

For Rem.

For a stable income.

For a chance to finally stop living like a useless burden.

He couldn't keep living like a damn gigolo.

Of course, things weren't made any easier by his boss.

Riften, the man in charge, happened to be a shameless cougar.

He even boldly told Subaru straight to his face how nice his butt was.

He constantly made it clear he had a thing for older women, then hypocritically denied being a cougar himself.

Subaru could only groan in despair.

His workplace was ridiculous.

Things took another unexpected turn not long after.

Rem showed up at his workplace one day, dressed in a kimono.

Apparently, one of the parents of her students had invited her to the same establishment as a guest, and Subaru was caught completely off guard.

After his day's shift was finished, Subaru walked home with her through the streets of Banan.

They flirted and bantered along the way, and for once Subaru thought maybe life was starting to settle into something normal.

But of course, Subaru's rotten luck struck again.

He was attacked. Not once, but twice during the same night!

The first time, Halibel appeared out of nowhere and saved him, which was when Subaru finally learned Hu-san's true identity.

But the second time was even worse.

The woman who they assumed to be same as first attacker came again after them, and she wasn't aiming for Subaru at all—her real target was Rem.

The reason behind her attack was more stupid and heartbreaking than Subaru could have ever expected.

Even though Subaru was weak, even though he had no real strength, he still threw himself at the attacker.

He was beaten nearly to death for it.

His bones were broken, his teeth knocked loose, his body crushed and bloodied.

But he didn't let go.

He clung to the woman's leg with everything he had, refusing to let her near Rem, who had collapsed into unconsciousness under mysterious circumstances.

Subaru's body was falling apart, but he didn't care.

He wouldn't let her touch Rem.

Eventually, the woman gave up and abandoned her attempt to kill Rem.

The reason why would only become clear later, but for now, the nightmare was over.

The next day, Subaru was dragged back from the brink of death.

His body was patched up, his injuries were treated, and he was restored almost completely to full health.

Almost.

He was still frail, still weak by nature, and the injuries continued healing slowly. But at least he survived.

At least he could still stand.

Subaru finally discovered the real reason behind Rem's sudden loss of consciousness—and it wasn't due to a curse, it wasn't some mysterious illness, and it wasn't even a side effect of exhaustion.

No.

It was something entirely different.

Rem was pregnant.

She was carrying his child.

Subaru… didn't know how to feel.

For a moment, he couldn't react at all.

His brain refused to process it.

The news sat there like a boulder in his chest, heavy and surreal.

He just stared at her, blinking, trying to make sense of what he was hearing.

And then, came a reality check he requested himself like an idiot, Rem hit him. Hard.

Subaru winced and reeled back.

Pain coursed through his body, and for the first time he realized, yes—this was real.

This wasn't some feverish dream or hallucination. Pain meant reality.

The good news? He wasn't dreaming.

The bad news? Rem had not held back at all.

She had nearly killed him.

Damn it! If it weren't for the healers, he probably would have died a dozen times by now just trying to survive life with her.

Subaru groaned, rubbing his jaw and muttering to himself.

Once the initial shock faded, Subaru tried to process the situation.

He was going to be a father.

He wasn't entirely sure whether to feel ecstatic, terrified, or completely paralyzed.

All three feelings collided in his chest, twisting him up in knots.

Before he could even begin to sort through his emotions, Halibel—their seemingly unreliable, yet terrifyingly capable neighbor—made his presence known.

Halibel was Kararagi's version of a Reinhardt, a Shinobi to boot, and had a knack for his dark humor about his race's impending extinction.

He often teased Subaru and Rem with jokes about survival and lineage that, while morbid, were oddly endearing.

But today was different.

Today, Halibel wasn't alone.

The person who had been stalking them, the one Subaru had known as a threat since their first tense meeting, barged into their house unannounced.

Tia—whose real name later would be revealed as Zarestia—was there.

Subaru would admit that when he first encountered her, he had been a whirlwind of nerves, suspicion, and anger.

She radiated an air of danger that made his heart race and his instincts scream at him to run.

Yet, despite all that, Halibel was with them, keeping an eye on the situation.

As Subaru cautiously probed Tia about her intentions, she finally spoke in her usual blunt, confident tone:

"I am here for a single reason," she said.

"Return my light orb."

Subaru froze.

Light orb? What the hell was a light orb? Why was it so important to her?

He didn't find out the full answer until much later, almost a year down the line. But for now, all he knew was that this Tia, dangerous and unpredictable, believed that Rem had stolen it.

And the way she figured it out? Subaru could hardly believe it.

"It is because of my nose!" she said proudly, holding her head up as though that explained everything and was some kind of remarkable achievement.

Subaru couldn't help but think how childish she was.

She was still childish, even now.

Even after breaking his son's heart, even after confessing her love for him during when he had passed his youth, she remained stubbornly, unapologetically childish.

Thankfully, after some tense discussions, the misunderstanding was clarified.

They discovered the one reason Tia hadn't killed Rem outright: Rem was pregnant.

According to her Shinigami code, she could not take an innocent life.

That rule, strange as it was, saved Rem—and by extension, Subaru—from a fatal encounter.

Eventually, an agreement was reached.

Tia would live with them, under observation, to determine whether Rem had truly taken her "light orb" or not.

It was tense, chaotic, and exhausting, but it worked—for now.

The first few days were hectic beyond imagination.

Tia demanded to sleep in the same house as them.

She flat-out refused to live anywhere else, insisting that she would watch them all night, keeping a careful eye on their every move.

Subaru groaned at the thought but said nothing—there was no point in arguing with someone like her.

It didn't take long for her to regret it.

The very first night, the unmistakable sounds of flesh slapping and muffled moans filled the house. 

Tia, stuck in the same house separated only by a thin wall, had no escape from the awkward situation.

The sight of her emerging the next morning with a deep, flustered blush was, Subaru had to admit reluctantly, undeniably cute.

It was almost enough to make him forget the chaos she had brought into their lives—almost.

Of course, Subaru, who had devoted himself entirely to Rem, didn't entertain any improper thoughts or distractions.

Not even for a moment.

He stayed fully faithful and utterly loyal to her, despite the relentless harassment he endured at the hands of the older women—MILFs and GILFs alike—who seemed determined to test his limits in every imaginable way.

It was a testament to his devotion, his loyalty, and his love for Rem.

Ahem

In the months that followed, the dynamic between them shifted in unexpected but heartwarming ways.

Tia, the initially chaotic and unpredictable visitor, gradually became like a younger sister to Subaru.

She was also Rem's best friend, someone who shared her joys, frustrations, and occasional moments of panic.

Living under the same roof for even a short period had done what words could not: it had turned Tia from an outsider into a close, irreplaceable part of their lives.

The obsession with her "light orb," which had initially seemed so urgent and critical, faded after a few days of simple living.

Within three months, Tia had become almost like a true member of their family, integrated fully into the chaotic but comforting household they had built together.

Of course, if one were to include Halibel in the picture, Subaru might have reconsidered the term "family."

The man was, by any measure, completely unreliable, unpredictable, and infuriatingly unhelpful at times.

Yet somehow, he was indispensable, his presence a bizarre but undeniable part of their little group's balance.

Jokes aside, everything was going relatively smoothly—at least, as smooth as life could be when you were raising a child in a world as dangerous and unpredictable as theirs—until the day Tia drank alcohol.

Out of the four of them, only Halibel had known that Tia was going to consume alcohol, and he had quietly chosen to stay silent.

But that night, in her sleep, her powers spiraled out of control.

What had begun as a minor misstep quickly escalated into a near-catastrophe, threatening the life of Subaru and Rem's unborn child.

Fortunately, she woke up just in time, realizing the extent of the damage she had caused.

Overcome with guilt and fear, she vanished without a trace the moment Subaru and Halibel had left to get Rem to a healer.

The household that had felt so solid, so much like a true family, shattered in an instant.

There was Subaru, desperately trying to protect Rem and their unborn child; Rem, trying to stay calm for the sake of their family; Tia, now absent and lost; and Halibel, who remained, chaotic as always, but still a part of their little group.

Rem chose to forgive Tia immediately upon regaining her senses.

Subaru, despite the anger and hatred boiling inside him over what Tia had nearly done to their child, also attempted to set aside his emotions.

He wanted to find her, to make sure she could apologize and atone for what had nearly caused tragedy and rebuild their relationship.

But she had vanished completely.

Months passed.

The search for Tia was relentless, though complicated by the demands of Rem's progressing pregnancy and the attempts to stabilize their household after the near-disaster.

Subaru and Rem adjusted to life as best they could, constantly on edge yet grateful for the life they were building together.

Then, one day, while Subaru was walking alone, fate intervened.

He stumbled across her—or rather, the version of her who had attacked him before, the one whose intent had been deadly.

He would later call her "Black Tia," as opposed to the Tia who wore white and had become part of their family.

This version of her exuded menace, darkness, and the lethal aura of someone trained to kill without hesitation.

He was nearly killed in the encounter, caught completely off guard by her skill and ferocity.

But at the critical moment, the Tia who had become part of his life—the white-clothed, kindhearted Tia—intervened.

She saved him from certain death and finally apologized sincerely, tears and remorse evident in her eyes.

With her help, Subaru also learned the full truth about her identity.

Halibel, ever the resourceful neighbor, had collected crucial information, which combined with Tia's own confession, revealed the shocking reality: she was one of the Four Great Spirits, an entity of unmatched power and influence in the world.

Among all the great spirits, she was one of the strongest, revered for her strength, beauty, and unmatched skill.

She was, in short, the most beautiful and formidable Shinigami in existence.

Tia's powers had been stolen by an Oni, much like Rem and in her own struggle to harness power in order to avenge her fallen villagers and exact revenge on the Witch Cult.

Subaru didn't know what to say when he learned this.

It felt like history repeating itself—Rem, once so full of strength and resolve, had lost everything to the Witch Cult, and now the Oni or the Black Tia, another being of immense power and will, had suffered a similar fate.

Subaru couldn't help but see the parallels.

He himself had lost so much: Emilia, Ram, and even that strange, unpredictable creature Puck.

All of them had been victims of the Witch Cult's cruelty.

The weight of their losses pressed on him heavily.

He finally understood, at least in part, why the Black Tia had attempted to kill him when they first met.

He reeked of the Witch's miasma, a scent that marked him as a potential enemy.

She had assumed he was aligned with the Witch Cult, as hostile as she herself was at that moment.

To make matters worse, Zarestia's powers had distorted her mind.

Rational thought, negotiation, and conversation were impossible while her abilities were in flux, leaving her violent and unapproachable.

Adding to the confusion, their Tia or original White Tia had mistaken Rem for the thief who had taken her "Light Orb," the source of her immense mana.

The confusion stemmed from the fact that Rem was also an Oni, and to Tia's eyes, the resemblance in power and aura was undeniable.

Once Tia realized her mistake, she apologized repeatedly, her guilt palpable.

But then she made a reckless, courageous choice—she attempted to confront the Oni herself. It was a battle that she could not win.

She was overwhelmed, consumed by the Oni's might, and Subaru felt an icy dread settle over him when he learned of her defeat.

He could not—he would not—let Rem die.

He could not allow himself to die, not when the fragile happiness they had finally achieved was at stake.

The thought of losing everything they had fought so hard to protect filled him with determination, bordering on desperation.

Subaru quickly devised a plan.

He coordinated with Halibel, who was as unpredictable as ever but dependable when it mattered most.

And, incredibly, Tia—though weakened and nearly consumed—managed to paralyze the Oni at the critical moment, giving Subaru and Halibel the opening they needed.

Together, they struck, and in the end, they killed the Oni.

Subaru knew the act was selfish, undeniably so.

He could still hear the Oni's final words echoing in his mind:

"I hate her." She hated Rem.

"Because… she has… what I could… never have."

The Oni, like Rem, had wished for family.

The Witch Cult had taken everything from her—her life, her home, and her hope.

As she breathed her last, Subaru asked her name. With her dying breath, she whispered, "…eese."

Reese.

The woman Subaru had killed.

Not because she was evil, not because she deserved death—but because it was the only way to save his family, his wife, and his unborn child.

And he would carry that burden for the rest of his life.

After Reese's death, Zarestia finally recovered her full powers.

But she warned them immediately: she could no longer remain with them.

Her nature, as a spirit who had been born to kill, made it impossible for her to stay in a household bound by love and family.

Subaru begged, pleaded, and even offered her place in their family in exchange for her companionship.

But she wept, explaining that her very essence prevented her from living among them.

Eventually, Subaru allowed Zarestia to see Rem, who had just finished giving birth.

He wanted Tia to understand the family she had fought to protect, even if she could not remain with them.

Tia tried to assert herself, insisting that this would be their last meeting, that despite her affection, she would still wish to kill them, and that it would be better if she returned to her solitary existence forever.

But Rem, ever compassionate, refused to accept that. She looked at Tia with warmth and sincerity and asked the question that had been weighing in Subaru's heart:

"…Tia-sama, did you… come to kill me?"

Tia hesitated, her lips parting and closing, words caught in her throat.

She tried repeatedly to answer, but each time the weight of her emotions blocked her.

Finally, tears spilling down her face, she managed to speak, her voice trembling yet sincere:

"…I… love you guys… so I won't kill you."

To be continued...

(A/N: If you haven't realized it, this is sloth if.

And everything is sloth if canon till now, it will be until Rigel's teenage days, because the story officially ended before reaching there.

And I am also planning to create this as an another fic... A side story, not only to get more patreons but also to throw the Re Zero: The Great Sage into light of other readers.

patreon.com/AkrosZero)

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