Abbie
There was a pause, nothing but a simple silence after my statement, and yet it felt as if the universe fell on top of me in confusion; like my words couldn't compute to something with the answers to everything.
The silence lasted but moments more before it was shattered; Tanya's somewhat confused voice ringing out.
"Eko? What does the master's name have to do with anything?" She said, seemingly just as lost as I felt shocked.
My brows narrowed as my own confusion began to mount, thoughts and reasons unrelated to the current predicament pulling forth in my mind as they raced for possible answers for the question they couldn't answer.
Glancing over, I caught the look of amusement in Lady Eko's Maroon gaze, its being flicking back and forth like a candle light in the wind as a grin bloomed on her lips.
It was when I looked back at Tanya that something unnatural clicked, like someone had reached into my head and planted something my brain couldn't recall remembering.
"You don't know, do you, Tanya?" I said, my eyes going wide in disbelief and realization.
To my question, she only seemed to grow more confused, if not a bit irritated, from the repeated question.
"No, Abbie, I don't know what you think I don't know; so if you would kindly fill me in on what the fuck you're talking about, I might yet know."
I winced, fairly certain I had hit a nerve.
"Tanya, do you know who Lady Eko is?" I pushed on.
The question had her sighing as she readjusted our positions. Though whether that was for a reason beyond comfort was beyond me. When she was done, she continued, her words both sure and seemingly unsure, as if it was instinctively becoming hard to talk about.
"Of course I know who master is," she paused, her eyes twitching as if in pain, "she's my master."
I glanced at Lady Eko again, noting the glint of awareness sparkling in place of her previous amusement, before I turned back to Tanya, her eye still twitching as her mouth opened and closed in silence, but not for long as she quickly shook her head of whatever was giving her grief.
"Whatever: the point is, she's my master, and though she can be pretty intimidating, she's still just my master." She stopped before she finished, seemingly debating whether to continue.
It wasn't hard to miss the glance she tossed at Lady Eko, but I caught it nonetheless, though I suppose it didn't matter much when all I saw was a blur; there was nothing I could discern from that.
Whatever she wanted to say was lost to the void seconds later as she tucked it away with a bite of her tongue, her eyes going downcast in silent dismay, and staying that way even as she went on.
"But, still, I don't see how that has anything to do with her; she's just someone who picked up a mangy stray after they were discarded: there's nothing more to it."
I frowned at the description, already noting the underlined self-hatred.
"Tanya-" I tried, only for my words to falter, unsure of what to say, or whether I should just focus on the first situation rather than this new one.
My face scrunched as words tried to come forward, to speak what I was thinking, but failed. I didn't know why the words wouldn't leave; I didn't know why this was so difficult to choose between, but something told me, something whispered in the back of my head that this mattered, and that I had to choose now.
Narrowing my eyes at the still downcast figure of Tany-... No, of Ms. Circle, I thought, for just the briefest moment, that she looked like me, like the same me back on the island; the one that was scared of his own shadow, the me who took a beating day in and day out without ever attempting to question why. It hurt, that look, that face, that turmoil; it made my gut twist in something uncomfortable, and I hated that, hated that she wore it, hated that she seemed to understand my past plight even though she looked unaware of it.
Something twisted again, a small shift, a barely noticeable pull, before it tugged, wrenched itself away, out, open, and exposed. I could feel the burn as it raced up my throat, thoughts, and feelings, anger, and hate, all mixed up into a confused slurry that wanted nothing more than to tell her off, to scream at her to understand, to realize that she was wanted, that she wasn't a mistake, that she was the only thing that kept me together at times.
Then, it stopped, the burning, the confusion, it left, leaving only one feeling in its place: structure, direction, order, uniform, and controlled, something to be thrown instead of lobbed.
My choice was made when my gaze grew drilling, and my tone firm, as my already weary body pulled itself up to just below her eyes with exhausting effort before I lifted my numb limb to her cheek, its Golden-Carapaced image reflecting like water on her pale skin, as my thumb ran a cold circle under her obsidian eye, as if to wipe away tears that couldn't be seen.
Then, I spoke, my voice in a vice of forced anger.
"Are you a stray, Ms. Circle?" I questioned using her title rather than her name; the intent of which had her refocused, Obsidian eyes wide with painful hurt, and sorrowing acceptance.
My other palm rose to her remaining cheek, its golden glow illuminating her face as I pulled her forehead down to meet mine, the gaze of which lessened.
"Tanya, never think of yourself like that, never tell yourself you're not worth it, because it will always be farther from the truth. Ms. Circle is the woman whom you hide behind, the one you put on when things become too much for Tanya. She is there so you can be happy; she is there so you can feel safe in your own home, even in the most tiring of times; now, please, stop using her to judge yourself, stop pretending that Ms. Circle is the end goal, because she's not, she never will be," her lips thinned in dismay, "nor would I ever want that."
Her eyes narrowed in what looked to be a meek amount of joy before they were swallowed up by forced denial, and that made me somewhat angry, so I took her bottom lip into mine with a harsh bite, drawing a pained moan from her throat.
I let go a moment later, my Golden orbs void of anything but determination.
"So why do you, Tanya? Why do you let these moments of weakness and hatred eat you? Why do you submit to a shell, to something that holds nothing but a wall? Is it because of your lingering feelings?" She looked away, "Is it because of your missing arm, or the wounds your body carries?" I could see her teeth clench, "Or is it because you're afraid of being entirely human, unable to bear all this weight, all of the pressure; unable to keep it up with your human mind," she visibly flinched at this, telling me that I had hit the nail on its head.
I leaned in, stealing a gentle kiss under her exposed gaze, leaving me to see the visible tears trailing her cheeks, like a faucet ready to burst but being held together by small threads of will.
Smiling, I wiped away her tears before continuing, my tone full of growing joy and elated happiness.
"No more, Tanya, because you have me now, you have me to talk to, you have me to share with; you have me to help carry this burden," my arms fell free a they captured Tanya's hand, before bringing it between us with tender care, "you don't need to fear being human any longer; you don't need to fear weakness; you just need to be you."
There was no stopping the tears anymore as the thin streams painting her cheeks grew slightly larger, and her once quivering lips opened in hicups and silent cries, her figure falling forward into my chest as my golden arms wrapped her in a hug, letting her cry and relieve herself of all the stress she's been keeping bottled up for however long.
But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt to see her like this, to see her break after so long in the image of something entirely divine, but at the same time, it lit up a fire of warmth in my chest, one that burned for the knowledge that she could cry to me, that she could let herself be vunreable infornt of me.
There had been very few times when she let herself be so lost with me, so vulnerable, and I hoped this would change things, hoped that after this, I could start being there for her more than I ever was in the past.
My Golden orbs eventually trailed up, leaving me to catch the sight of Lady Eko and her dazzling smile, its thin silvery form edging up just a bit to reveal pearly colored teeth and the tips of canines.
The sight should have been gratifying, heartwarming even, but those tips of white just barely peaking out from under her lips had my heart beating with caution; I held my words, my silent fear, instead using them as fuel to hug Tanya closer, tighter, warmer.
Then she spoke, her words without warning or emotion, drawing Tanya still, her cries and hiccups ceased.
"Sleep.... dear pupil...."
Not even a moment later, Tanya slid into my lap, her breathing rhythmic and unaware as she used my somewhat built thighs as a pillow, leaving me alone with the one who had cast her that way.
My eyes narrowed in worry before I refocused on the being before me, her slender form gently pushing herself up, as it began to break apart at her left foot, almost as if the very air around us was eating away at her.
She hovered anyway, unperturbed by her decaying being.
"Young.... pup; you wonder and ponder on why my darling student..... can't seem to grasp what or who I am.... and you would be correct in your assumption that I was involved," she giggled, seemingly regathering what little strength she had to speak more in sync, "you see, if I will it, you won't even notice it; won't notice the way your mind... works, how it remembers," her smile turned wide, revealing the canines in all of their glory as they stretched to half an inch, seemingly so negligible yet so terrifying all the same, "the human mind is a fickle thing, so very easy to.... munipulate, alter, control..... and erase," the decay had spread to her hips, yet she still did nothing, if not glide closer, "even you will be affected. You will not remember ever meeting me, or even seeing me.... You will simply blur," she took a labored breath as the decay reached her chest, "but I will leave you with this, a simple disimodied voice that will linger in the back of your mind, never to be pictured or matched..... always.... there, but..... never prominent," her Maroon orbs glared down at me, her words digging into my very head, "The End Draws Near."
And just like that, she was gone, and suddenly, so was everything else; and I was left alone with Tanya as a sense of vertigo warped my stomach into knots; but just as fast as it came, it was gone, and I was left alone in a bright forest with Tanya still sleeping in my lap; it was then, that I let out a breath, one that I had been holding since.... since something..... since...
'Why are we here?'
My thoughts were cut short by a groan, as Tanya's dazed eyes drew open to meet my Dirty Golden orbs, confusion, fulfillment, and relief filling her Obsidian gaze as she stared past me and into the blue sky above, her silence helping to ease my confused and aching head as I just chose to enjoy her serene expression.
Of course, the moment didn't last long, especially after the chilly morning breeze swept by, reminding us both that we were still very naked, though it did very little to quell our amusement at each other's plight.
"It's over, Tanya, the Pack Pruning is over, and I'm alive," I said, leaning down, my lips pressing gently against her temple.
The only thing she responded with was a weary sigh and a smart yet very true quip. "Good, because I'm really missing being dressed right about now," she held up her stump, "and I paid good money for my arm to be insulated."
I snorted before chuckling in exhaustion, the sheer randomness getting past my body's sluggish and tired form.
"You know, I could use some clothes too, and a nap," I sighed, "I'm exhausted."
She nodded before pushing herself up without further words. It was when she was upright and standing that she offered me a hand. Reaching out, I took it, and from there I was slung over her shoulder, which, funnily enough, was really comfortable.
Speaking from behind me now, she asked.
"Let's go home, ya?"
I smiled, my eyes going blurry in drowsiness.
"Ya... let's go home."
My world went black after that, and I was left in the dark to appreciate the warmth that had settled in my stomach while the chaotic days' events grasped at blurry and unclear memories of something I couldn't recall.
But maybe that was for the best.
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Richard Dale Lennon (021)
There were times in my shity life when shit didn't click right, and right now was one of em'.
"Hey, hey, whatcha do'in?" the voice of a Porcupine boy asked, his pale finger jabbin into my side with annoying accuracy.
I groaned, my brow twitching at the audacity, but silently impressed with the boy's tenacity.
It wasn't long ago that the runt wasn't nothin but a passing idiot; just some brat goofin' off by himself, but it was my mistake runnin' into the dirt; I just had to fuck wit' him; Eko damn my fuckin soul because this shits fucked.
I didn't even do much, just tapped my fuckin palm, threw em' off balance by an inch, and what does the little runt do? Fucker twirled around like a gal in a frilly skirt wearin' tap shoes. Yet, even when I had ample time to piss off and be on my merry way, I didn't. I stayed, because the runt had some damn skill, just an ink sitting in a well wait'n, wait'n to be put to some fuckin' use.
"So, blind guy, how'd you do that? Come on, you can tell me; I promise I won't tell; it can be a secret between pals, whady say?"
And he had the fuckin gall to back it too.
Sighing, I finally broke my begrudging silence.
"Fuckin, Christ, kid, even if I told ya', shit wouldn't matter; it ain't nothin you can just pull out'a your ass, even with a bitch ship of hard work; it just don't work like that, you git."
I wasn't really angry with the brat, but I could always get true character from someone under the heavy microscope that was anger, and boy, was that my specialty. Anger was like an eye to me; get someone angry enough, and they move all kinds of different ways; perfect for me.
But, so far, the lads held up; he hasn't gotten heated, he's keeping his balls in check, Ya'know, makin' sure they don't get too big for his trousers, and just overall keeping his temper in line.
I knew the lad had one, given the spike of irritation when I knocked him off balance earlier, I just couldn't figure out what made it tick, and that was good; being unreadable was a skill required by most to live in this fucked up world, yet a staggering amount seemed to lack nonetheless.
"Even then, it seems like it would be a neat thing to know about; I mean, come on, it's not like it'll get me killed, hopefully."
I chuckled at that.
"Can it, jackass, there ain't no mystical spy or assassin lookin for my shiny ass."
"Did you really have to say shiny? Ever heard of too much information, old man?"
Barking out a laugh, I countered.
"One, brat, I'm not fuckin old; I just turned twenty-eight a week ago."
The boy winced.
"Twenty-Eight and still not dust; that's got to be a new record."
I snorted, slugging the brat in the shoulder for the jab; it was severely reduced in strength to keep him in one piece.
The lad, for whatever it was worth, didn't seem to mind even as he was sent sprawling off the bench we were sitting on, and if anything, he sounded a bit more excited than before if his jittery movements were anything to go by.
"Nice one, but still, fuck you."
The damned brat cracked a smile as he went to speak.
"Wow, sorry old man, but I'm going to have to decli-"
My fist once again found its way to the boy; little shits gonna' be in a world of hurt when the bruisin' starts.
"Finish that sentence, and I'm throwin' you into traffic."
The little pokey grimline smirked wider, his tapping nail sending constant weak images of him trying to keep his amusement concealed; bastard was failing miserably.
"Don't think I need to, old man; you probably get the gist."
I clicked my teeth, giving away my amused annoyance as a harder and far more colored and detailed picture lit up my dark world, letting me see for the briefest of seconds, the shit eating grin painting his face.
"And two," I continued off from the original topic, "Too much information is the dream, because simply put, it's useful; it can be used, taken advantage of, or even be used as a distraction: it's somethin' that keeps you alive at times; Eko knows how many times it's gotten me out of tough spots."
The lad seemed to heed my words with familiarity, seemingly already aware of such a trick.
I smirked in my mind. 'The young lad seems to know his way around people; shit speaks of experience.'
My brow knitted in contemplation as silence weighed on the previously light atmosphere we had, bobbing it down with curiosity and anticipation as our minds rebounded off of themselves, rattling and waking a dormant curiosity far more potent than light indulgence hanging above us.
That's when I decided to break the silence, my tone and voice extending out an offer that would fill both of our curious minds.
"Tell you what, brat; you tell me something interesting, and I'll let you know about how I did that little shove earlier, sound good?"
The question was clean and cut; no deviation, and no other meaning, just mindless curiosity that led its own charge against something it yearned to know about, and it was something about that fact that seemed to light a spark in the lad's lilac eyes; his own curiosity roaring to life with delight as he tapped his nails harder, trying and failing to show how eager he was for it.
It didn't take long before he answered back, his tone full of anticipation.
"Sounds reasonable enough, but it's going to depend on what you're looking to find out, old man, because there are quite a few things I'd 'Kill' to keep locked away."
I rolled my non-existent eyes at the attempted threat before huffing an amused sigh.
"Chill your quills, runt; I ain't trying to make you throw up your guts, no, I'm just curious where you learned to be such a competent brat: if half of the people on this planet were like you, I'd say our distorted version of humanity would have a good two or three decades of life left in it."
The boy scoffed.
"You say it like we ever had a chance in the first place."
My brow rose.
"Wow, a bit pessimistic, are we? What, ye lost faith in this fuckin' shit ball already?"
He rolled his eyes and stopped tapping his finger.
"I wouldn't necessarily call it being pessimistic when the facts dictate it to be true; really, it's just a matter of time before we all pop like grapes due to the atmosphere burning itself away, or maybe we'd be sent hurling miles down the road or into buildings when the planet stops spinning, but, now that I think about it, we might not even make it to those points: give it a while and we'll get some kind of new 'Temporal Phenomenon' that'll wipes us out. Really, it's just a matter of time."
Silently, I began tapping in the same rhythm he had, keeping it quiet so no normal human could hear.
The boy was obviously angry with the world's declining situation, and he wasn't too far off the truth either; just yesterday, an entire continent had been swallowed up by water, leaving billions of people dead and trillions more scared, and yet, the rest of the world remained undeterred by the news; not because they didn't care, but because it happened so often that it had become commonplace, a piece of new that the common folk talk about like it was the weather.
But could you blame them? Just a few decades ago, most of the world was made up of mostly land, expansive, lush, beautiful land, so they said. However, when the merging happened, things like a sinking continent were something people just noted and accepted, because what the hell were they going to do about it?
It was said that at first, people rioted, moved to get further away from the rapidly sinking states, and stood at airports for days on end just hoping to get a plane to anywhere but where they were.
However, when a capital state, dead center of the largest piece of land left in the world, was sunk, people started to realize that there was just no point. After that, scientists had all but confessed in boggled confusion that the sinking was random, that there was no way to predict what was going to sink and what was going to float: it was all up to a dangerous game of chance.
There wasn't much to say after that.
But still, putting flooding aside, the atmosphere burning up was a new one.
I shook my head of the thought; I'd look into it later and see if I could get a team of specialists to check out the boys' source, and the planet's rotation was being worked on already, so hopefully that wouldn't turn out to be a problem either.
Though the 'Temporal Phenomenon' was a different beast altogether, so we could only pray that the world didn't decide to give a big fuck you to us and wipe us out for being terrible tenants.
Clearing my throat, I moved us back on topic.
"Distancing ourselves from this, quite frankly, morbid conversation, why not tell me something about yourself? Something interesting, preferably."
I learned it wasn't hard to restore the smirk on the brat's face moments later as the day went on.
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Zip
The day hadn't been bad, but it also hadn't been the best either, as I had to go to another doctor's appointment for my throat.
I sighed at the recall.
"I'm sorry to say this, but your daughter has about half a month before her vocals give out entirely."
I could remember the look of disinterest on my mom's face when she heard it, the sheer uninterest drilling itself into my head like a bad joke; all of it simply because I couldn't sing, couldn't live up to the expectations she had for me, couldn't be her proxy to the dream she never achieved.
It hurt at one point in time, burned even, but after so long, and after so many doctors, I just grew numb, almost just as disinterested as her, if not to a lesser degree. Now, I'd been told I would become mute in a few weeks, unable to speak my thoughts, unable to voice my pain, unable to crack a joke with my friends, or jab at Oliver for his new and long-awaited boyfriend.
My eyes tightened in shame and sadness.
And then, there was Edward; his purple gaze bearing down on me like a gentle breeze as he spoke his love openly, unafraid of how the world would try to break him for such a small declaration.
I've wanted to say it too, to tell him that I loved him, to tell him how much he mattered to me, but fear always managed to get the best of me, and every time I've managed something close to it, it felt dull, lifeless, entirely forced; nothing like Edwards, nothing like the affection that laced his gentel words, nothing like the butterflies he managed to spark up in my stomach, nothing close.
It was hollow, entirely meaningless...
I couldn't dignify myself with a sigh, as my own Honeyed gaze stared down at the pavement under my feet, on which I was forced to walk due to being left behind at the doctor's office, much to the horror of the doctors and nurses.
A chuckle escaped me at the absurdity of complete strangers caring more about me than my own mother.
My head shook itself free of the woes.
Nonetheless, I was a coward with a clock, and it was ticking away by the day.
Honeyed eyes rose in dismay and faint joy as I grew closer to home, the sound of a new, and much younger voice painting the surrounding yard in a comfortable, if a bit mechanical melody.
I chose to pause my stride as I listened in on the home in question, its serene ambience soon broken by Mom's voice as she spoke in absolute.
"Higher, and stand straighter; you are no slob," she said, emotion barely flickering on the edges of her voice.
There was a faint murmur in return, no doubt belonging to little brother, as the singing continued.
I tried to smile as it continued, I did, but it hurt more than I'd like to admit to hear my replacement, and, or better, in Mom's case, stand in the one spot I used to, churning out the same songs I did, and excel far more than I ever had.
It was like a stabbing pain that never went away, instead choosing to stay and pulse inside my chest, doing everything it could to make me hurt.
But as much as it hurt, as much as I wanted to rage, to curse at the world about how unfair it was, I didn't, because he was my baby brother, he was like a little sun that lit up my darkening world; I could never hate him, no matter how much it hurt to stay near him.
Which was why I felt sick when I did, when looking at him twisted the knife in my chest and filled it full of it; I hated that I couldn't stop it, hated that I had to bear with it, hated that I didn't entirely hate it, and even now, I could feel it welling up the longer I listened.
I frowned, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes as I turned back around and walked away, unwilling to let the tears grow, unwilling to let my hate corrupt, and unwilling to let anyone see me cry as my life fell apart one piece at a time.
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Ms. Circle
Getting through the city without being seen had been pretty easy for the most part, with the only real hassle being my itchy eyes, their forms unused to crying. It hadn't been long after my run that we made it home, its empty visage quickly and quietly being entered as I made my way over to the couch, where I put Abbie, his perfectly healthy body eating up my lingering worry as I turned away.
The first thing on my list was to get my arm; everything else could come later.
Walking over to the bedroom door, I pushed it open without hesitation, its contents revealed to be almost exactly the same as when I had left it, including the unsightly and uneasy puddle of blood still sitting on the bed.
I ignored the blood for now and walked over to my side, retrieving the silvery appendage and sliding it on; the itch I hadn't noticed fell away to satisfaction, the cold having been staved by the insulated rubber that cupped the thing to my stump.
There was hardly any movement from he thing before the faint, familiar sting of artificial nerves connecting to my flesh sent a jolt of electricity up my arm and down my spine.
Locomotion and pressure were the main focus when the appendage was created, so other nerves not of similar necessity were left out in favor of them.
Flexing the metal hand, I hummed in satisfaction, my body moving over to the closet as I got myself dressed in something that wasn't my birthday suit, and though I felt a bit disappointed at not being able to show off my body to Abbie, it was quickly and quietly suppressed by comfort, as a familiarity took over my pale body.
It was nice being in clothes again.
And speaking of which, I grabbed some for Abbie, making sure to get a shortsleve in amends to his new carapaced forearms, and to inevitably prevent damage to them when he accidentally popped those golden arm blades, because knowing him, it wouldn't have been long.
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