Arthur stepped out of the bathroom while testing his reflexes.
His movements were sharp. His body felt light. Breathing? Stable.
This morning felt... minimally absurd.
Bounciechomie slowly slithered from the floor onto Arthur's shoulder.
"Bloop," it said, like it was greeting him: Good morning, Mr. Side Character.
Arthur gave a small smirk.
"Chill. We're actually starting early today…"
He entered the room. Morning sunlight slipped through the window—warm, but not annoying.
Arthur bent down, picked up a pair of pants from the floor, and just as he was about to put a leg in—
Crk.
His hand hit something in the pocket.
"…Huh?"
He pulled out a slightly crumpled paper.
Red. Thick. Familiar.
WANTED.
His own smirking face stared back from the print, complete with an utterly ridiculous bounty.
"Arthur D. Bump – 1000 Gold – Dangerous Instability."
Arthur plopped down onto the bed, silent, staring at the paper like someone who just found out their DNA test results.
"I forgot this was still in my pocket…" he muttered.
Bounciechomie slowly crawled down and stuck to his knee.
"Bloop...?" (subtitle: Yo bro, you good?)
Arthur started to get uneasy.
His eyes scanned the image deeply.
"The real Arthur D. Bump… what the hell did he do? Why's the bounty this high? Don't tell me… he was a murderer? A cultist? An elf foot statue collector?"
He imagined himself being hunted by every guild. Caught in the streets. Paraded around like a final boss, all because he went out looking for free bread yesterday.
His hands were sweating.
"Don't tell me I got stuck in the body of someone already canceled from day one…"
But then something itched in his brain. A familiar impulse.
He flipped the paper.
Slowly.
Carefully.
On the back, in big handwritten letters:
"It's a prank – God of Fiction, Web Novel Department."
...
...
Arthur froze.
Bounciechomie drooped.
".........…"
Arthur slowly stood up.
Then chucked the paper onto the floor.
"YOU ANCIENT CRAZY BASTARD!!!!"
He screamed at the ceiling. Didn't care who heard.
Bounciechomie bounced twice, following the rhythm of his master's emotional detonation.
Bloop... bloop. (subtitle: Let it out, bro. Totally valid.)
Arthur held his forehead, breathing hard.
"That god… he's seriously chaotic. Like a shitpost admin but with cosmic powers…"
He stretched his body.
After a full minute of silent inner crisis, Arthur let out a long sigh.