"So guys... I'm not too confident about Episode 2, but hey, we have no choice but to enjoy it! đđ„ So go ahead, give it a read, and let me know what you think!"
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Two years ago First had confessed his feelings for Khoa for the Third time
As he lay in bed, the memory of that day resurfaced
"I like you. And not in a 'just friends' kind of way," First said, his voice firm but laced with vulnerability. "I'm saying this again because, clearly, you didn't understand me the last two times I confessed."
Khoa exhaled slowly, looking away. His gaze dropped to the pavement as if the words had knocked the air out of him.
"First..." His voice was soft, almost apologetic.
First clenched his fists. "You don't have to say anything."
Khoa's lips parted, but no words came. His fingers twitched at his sides like he wanted to reach out but wasn't sure if he should. "I just... I don't know. I don't want to hurt you."
First let out a dry laugh, bitter and tired. "You don't know." He repeated the words, shaking his head. "How long am I supposed to wait for you to figure it out?"
Khoa looked pained. "I just need time."
First inhaled sharply, nodding. Just like before-Khoa wasn't ready. And maybe he never would be.
"...Okay." First forced a small smile. "Take your time."
But in his heart, he knew. This was the last time. He wouldn't ask again. Maybe Khoa kept avoiding an answer because he didn't want to outright reject him-maybe he was afraid it would ruin their dynamic. Either way, First was done waiting for something that might never come.
Two months after that painful conversation, things between them had shifted. They had gotten intimate. At first, First was happy-happy that Khoa wanted him, even if only physically.
He had convinced himself that sleeping with Khoa would help-would cool down the longing and make it easier to move on. And for a while, it worked.
But now? Now, it wasn't enough.
He didn't just want Khoa's body.
He wanted to call him his.
---
"What are you doing here?" Khoa asked the moment First stepped into his apartment. His arms crossed over his chest, his expression tight with frustration. "I thought you were giving me space."
"I'm just here to pick you up for the after-party. That's all," First replied, his voice flat, unreadable.
Khoa felt something snap inside him. That's all?
"That's all?" he echoed, his annoyance quickly turning into something deeper-something raw. "What the hell is your problem, First? If I did something to piss you off, if you heard something-just talk to me! I hate it when you act like this like I don't matter." His voice cracked slightly but First remained unmoved.
The lack of reaction drove Khoa over the edge.
In one swift move, he shoved First down onto the chair and crashed his lips against his, desperate-furious. He needed something, anything, to break through that wall First had put up between them.
But First didn't push him away.
Didn't resist.
Didn't kiss him back, either.
He just let it happen.
When Khoa finally pulled away, breathing heavily, First calmly straightened his shirt like nothing had happened. "I didn't come here for this," he said coolly. "Go get dressed. We're going to be late."
And just like that, the moment was dismissed.
Khoa stood frozen as First turned away, his heart pounding. He should say something. Do something. But he couldn't-because for the first time, he realized something terrifying.
He was losing First.
And maybe... he already had.
---
The drive to the party was silent.
First kept his eyes on the road, his hands steady on the wheel, while Khoa sat beside him, tense and quiet. The anger he had felt earlier had melted into something else-anxiety.
He kept stealing glances at First, his mind racing. Just days ago, First had been sweet to him. Distant, yes, but never cold. Even though he had been avoiding sleeping over, he had never treated Khoa like this before. So what changed?
Was it something Khoa did?
"Is there something on my face?" First's voice cut through the silence, snapping Khoa out of his thoughts.
Khoa didn't answer. He simply looked away.
First said nothing more. His eyes remained on the road, but his thoughts were elsewhere-on Khoa. On the weight of what he was doing.
Will this help me move on? Or am I just breaking us beyond repair?
And then there was the kiss.
He had used every ounce of willpower to resist, to stay still, to not give in. But even now, he could still feel the heat of Khoa's lips against his.
And it reminded him of a truth he hated to admit-
Khoa still has complete power over me.