My methods are evil when that is the most effective course of action.
Finding a person who wants to sell their house urgently, and then spreading rumors about that house so that nobody would buy it.
That person will keep lowering their price since they don't have much time to waste.
That is how I got a house for cheap, so that I don't have to constantly pay for an inn.
But even though it was a house bought by me, doesn't necessarily mean it will be only for me.
***
With the same amicable smile as always, I look at the boy while holding some food.
Only, there was now a girl in front of that boy.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Faun."
The girl was just as on guard as the boy, but I could see the confusion on her face.
"Why... why did you help us?"
"Ah, well, that's because I wanted something from you."
Her eyes widened in realization and fear.
"And why would we give you anything? In the first place, we don't have anything to give."
I shook my head.
"The thing I wanted from you, was yourselves."
She took a step back along with the boy.
"So? How about it? Wanna work at a job?"
Her feet stopped mid-step. Her face looked funny.
"What...? Job?"
I nodded.
"Didn't I tell you? I need you both... for a job."
She narrowed her eyes.
"You see, the problem is the fact that the job isn't well-payed, so nobody wants to take it. But I do have a house. So here's the proposition I'm giving you. I'll give you a place to live and food to eat, and in return you'll work for a job of mine. How about it?"
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Ah, don't worry, the job is payed."
She was glaring and I was smiling.
"...What kind of job?"
"You'll be selling things at a stall, while your brother will make the product."
For the fourth time since seeing me, she was surprised.
"...And you think we'll just believe you like that?"
"No, but I'm giving you a choice."
She looked at the ground.
The decision was difficult, no doubt, but there was a thing that slightly tilted the scale towards taking my proposition.
It is the simple stupid thing called trust.
I helped them in their time of need. That might seem like the thing that gained me the most trust, but it wasn't.
The most important thing was that my situation was believable, that I wasn't forcing them... and that I haven't lied a single time.
I could've honeyed my words, but I didn't. I could've spoke less bluntly, but I didn't.
I told the cold, hard truth.
Sure, from their perspective, they can't know whether I'm lying or not. But still, they could tell I spoke business.
...
The funny thing is, that even with all of that―
"No, we won't accept it."
I shrug.
"Sure. I won't be giving you any food from now on, but I'll still be coming over here every now and then, so if you rethink your decision, just tell me."
There was a chance they'd accept here, but it seems like that isn't the case.
I'll wait until tomorrow then.
***
Just the next day―
"We accept your deal."
It was as easy as waiting a single day. Why? Because the girl had a job before she fell sick.
The thing is that she had a job. Due to the bad conditions she lives in, recovering from the cold took a long time. In that time, a replacement was found.
I knew this already. I have been watching, after all.
"I see. Shall we get going then?"
***
I welcomed them into my home.
'I have only slept in it twice alone. What a busy life I have.'
It was a simple two-story house.
The first floor had a kitchen, and the second floor had two rooms for personal use.
That's right, it was a small house with only necessities, that's why I could buy it in the first place.
"For now, just wait. I have to cook up some food."
I took some flour, oil, meat and an egg out of the cupboard.
Despite me having a freezer, I didn't have a refrigerator. The reason for that was simple, refrigirators are way harder to make.
'It's the difference between being smart and just shoving a bunch of ice into somewhere.'
But that just meant I had to eat food as I bought it. If you're efficient, you don't need to preserve food.
After some work, I made basic dumplings, or pelmeni to be more precise.
While I was boling them, a familiar face descended from upstairs.
"Meow."
"Did you wake up from the ruckus and smell?"
I take some meat and put it in her bowl, and then go back to boiling the pelmeni.
The sight of her chomping down the meat made time go by faster.
It was soon time for us to eat too.
"Hold your hands over this bucket."
They did as such. After using Water Magic to clean their and my hands a bit, it was now time to eat.
It was bland, but that was fine. I didn't have time for lavishness.
Everything that is extra is exactly that, extra. In other words, completely unnecessary. No reason for good food, and no reason for a comfortable bed.
As long as the food keeps me full, and as long as the bed is good enough that I don't feel sore after waking up, that is all I need.
'It is all I can afford to spend my strength on.'
As I need all the strength I can get, spending it on something like comfort and happiness is useless.
'I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more, but...'
That is just how my life is. It is how it must be.
In the first place, even if I do spend strength to make myself happier, the thought of not spending that strength on more important matters will make me sad again.
'Human lives are at stake after all.'
It was a lose-lose situation.
I cannot do anything about this twisted personality of mine.
'That is why I am incapable of living in this world.'
In my current situation, I couldn't be happy no matter what I did. It was all because of my stupid kindness and care for other people.
On the other hand, Faun is not so kind that not spending strength most optimally would make him sad.
I don't want to be sad all the time. I don't want to end up going insane. I don't want to die.
It was because of these simple reasons that I must not exist.
***
Kilta was a young boy 9 years of age. Ryuni was a girl 14 years of age. Both of them had dark blue hair and dark blue eyes.
I got some new clothes for the two siblings and made them take a bath.
Once they looked somewhat presentable, it was time to get them familiarized with their jobs.
I taught Kilta how to make popsicles, and then watched over his progress for the next week. During that week, I also took Ryuni with me to the stall.
After that week, Ryuli was fully integrated, while Kilta still needed a bit more practice.
But I judged that it would be fine to leave it to them now.
'With me not having to spend 2 silvers every day, I can easily afford food for two more people. There is a tax every month, but it's only a singular gold, so the cost isn't even comparable.'
Since there were no such things as water faucets and lights, there were no costs for water and electricity, so the monthly cost was small.
Anyway, with the popsicle business now on those two, I now had time for missions again.
'It's child labor, but I don't care. In the first place, it's not like I'm making their life harder. They get a home, food and even one copper for every popsicle they sell.'
One copper was a small amount, but considering that all of their basic needs were met, they wouldn't get a better deal anywhere.
With the popsicle thing out of the way, it was time to start adventuring again.
I walked out of the house―
"Excuse me, mister Faun?"
I stopped and looked at Ryuli.
"No need for the mister, just call me Faun. In the first place, I'm only two years older than you."
"Ah, alright."
She was nervously fidgeting with her hair.
"What is it that you wanted to tell me?"
She opened her mouth after some delibiration.
"...Why did you choose us? There are numerous other children in the streets, I don't see a reason for you to have chosen us."
I tilted my head.
"Ah, well, the answer's simple. You're cute. And if you're pleasant to look at, it's easier to attract customers. It's also easier to gain the trust of two people who are connected than to gain trust of two completely separate people."
I walked out of the house.
***
It was back to the usual mission grind again.
Sometimes there was a good one, sometimes there wasn't. But more importantly, I was taking on high Level missions.
I wanted to become higher Level as fast as possible. It was to both to take better paying missions, and to make myself more attractive for a party.
'It is about time I joined a party after all.'
Going alone like this had its benefits, but working in a team not only brought more money, it was also safer and would improve my teamwork.
I already had experience working in groups, but you can never have too much experience.
Besides, the way I did missions alone was way too repetitive.
Stab the target from behind, stab the target from behind, stab the target from behind, stab the t―
"HEEELP!!!"
My legs moved faster than my mind, and I started running.
When my mind caught up to the situation, I thrust my heels into the ground and came to a halt.
'What reason do I have to help someone I don't know? I'll just be putting myself in danger for almost no gai―'
"SOMEBODYYY!"
I could feel a vast amount be added to the ocean. It was not an amount I could ignore.
Not only that, there was now another river slowly adding to the ocean every second that passed.
'―――'
"That person could be a potential customer of my popsicle business. Also, I would gain a favor from them."
I started running again.
When I got there, I could see a boy running away from ten wolves.
'Ten wolves?!'
I caught up to the boy.
Using multiple beginner Water spells, I made the earth behind us turn to mud.
Once the wolves stepped into the mud, the mana ran out and it became normal earth again. With their feet below the earth, it took them a bit of time to get out.
'Alright! I bought us... half a second of time.'
Even if the mud turned back to earth, it's not like it became solid earth. It was instead reverted to individual chunks of earth.
It still bought us time, but not nearly as much as I would've liked.
"Sorry! No time for explaining!"
I took the boy into my hands and started running. By himself the boy was way too slow, the wolves would catch up in no time.
'He's not heavy, but I don't have much mana either!'
In the first place, running away from wolves was not a good idea. They didn't have much stamina, but they were fast.
I could gain some distance if I wanted to, but that wouldn't be worth it.
"Erdia, Goddess of Earth, you are the best."
While giving up quite a bit of my mana, I said that compliment.
I then started raising earth walls out of the ground right in front of the wolves, so that they would have no choice but smash straight into them.
It slowed them down quite a bit, but there were ten of them. Too many earth walls were reqiured to keep this up.
'I was hoping the wolves at the back would be hindered by the walls at the front, but they're just jumping over them without losing speed.'
This was a proble―
'Wait, jumping over?'
Yep, that's right. They weren't running around the walls, but jumping over them.
My eyes gleamed. You can't dodge in the air! I had a chance!
The moment the next wolf jumped, I pierced his neck with an Ice Lance. I also managed to pierce the neck of another wolf who jumped with another Ice Lance.
But the wolves weren't stupid, they saw what happened to their two brethren and started running around the walls. But that was good too, since it bought us more time!
'It's been a while since I've had a win-win situation like that.'
I made a very wide earth wall. The wolves had no choice but to run around it. I made another wide earth wall, and the wolves ran around it again.
The distance between us was getting bigger and bigger.
I made the next wide earth wall, and the wolves ran into it with full force. They managed to break straight through.
That was also the wrong decision though. The wolves who broke through the wall were dazed for a split second due to that impact, and I took advantage of that by piercing them with more Ice Lances!
Only four wolves left, I was close to―
...
I blink in disbelief for a bit.
'...For pancakes' sake!'
Another eleven wolves started running behind us!
What the heck?! Was this boy a wolf magnet or something?!
'If you're from different packs, then attack each other at least! Why are you all ganging up on us?!'
I shook my head and started thinking on what to do. I would've loved to Think, but in that case I would lose control of my body. I don't think that would be a good idea when I'm in the middle of running.
'―!――'
Alright, so first of all, repeat the jumping strategy from before now that there were new wolves. This time I managed to take down three before they stopped jumping.
Next, repeat the wide earth wall strategy. Two wolves decided to break straight through, so I killed those two.
From then on, they just ran around the earth walls every single time.
There was a problem though.
'I only have enough mana for three more wide earth walls!'
And now it was two.
"Hey, boy. Mind shouting as loud as you can again? For help."
Now that we have ran quite a bit, we were closer to the exit of the forest. We were still very far, but there were bound to be more adventurers here, so the chance of attracting monsters with shouting was less, and the chance of attracting help was higher.
He nodded.
"HEEEEELP!!"
My ears hurt from that, but that was fine. Living was more important than hearing.
One left.
'Time to stop.'
I put the boy down and at the same time took off my backpack.
"Keep screaming if you don't want to die."
The wolves surrounded us on all sides.
Now that I wasn't running, I could Think. Even a split second would be enough.
"HEEELLLLPPP!!"
I started seeing through my eyes again.
The wolf in front of me jumped at me. By using mana sense, I could sense the positions of all wolves and the boy without looking directly. Because of that, I knew the boy behind me wasn't getting attacked.
They probably wanted to get rid of the threat first.
Using my mediocre skills, I sliced the throat of the wolf in exchange for a small cut on my cheek.
Sensing two wolves jumping at me from the sides, I used a bit of mana and punched to my left, stunning a wolf for a split second. At the same time, I stab the wolf to the right in the neck.
I grab the kid by the scruff of his clothes and drag him out of the way of one of the wolves' attack.
'Eight left.'
I turn 180 degress and stab the wolf who was dazed from my punch with the dagger.
'Four jumping at once.'
Using the last bits of my mana, I grab the kid by the hand and jump back.
'Seven left.'
"Keep screaming!"
"SOMEBODYYYYYY!!"
I was getting exhausted not only in the mana department, but in my stamina too. I regularly physically train, but my stamina's not infinite.
'I broke out of their encirclement, so it should be easier as long as I don't let them surround us again.'
I took a stance with my dagg―
...
'You gotta be kidding me.'
I wanted to laugh. I couldn't see it, but I could sense five more wolves approaching from behind.
I know that shouting could've attracted monsters too, but why wolves again?!
'There's a lot of flipping variety in this forest! Couldn't it have been any other monster?!'
If it was another type of monster, maybe I could get the monsters to fight each other.
Now though...
'Well, they are from different packs, so the teamwork between them shouldn't be that good.'
It was my only saving grace.
I stabled my breathing and took a different stance from the previous one.
With a bit of Thought, I came to a conclusion.
'I won't spend more on this.'
I could save this kid alone if I wanted to, but that would cost me too much. More accurately, it would cost me some really powerful poison that I had bought not for cheap.
If it comes to the point of me needing to use that poison, then I would just leave the boy as bait and run away. I was NOT wasting more on this kid.
But it's not like I was running away now. There was a chance the boy could be saved.
The way to do that was to stall until help arrived.
"Hey bud, you're gonna get a bunch of scratches, so prepare yourself, okay?"
I didn't look at his face and immediately started moving.
While the wolves from behind us were still a fair distance away, I ran at the wolves in front.
Three of them jumped at me.
'Ah, how nostalgic.'
I stabbed the one on the right in the eye and raised my left hand for the other two to chew on.
I had leather armor on, so it didn't hurt as much as back then, but it still stung quite a bit.
Using the momentum from the wolves' jump, I swung my arm along with them as an improvised whip. I hit the wolf who was aiming for my left leg with the wolf-whip. I also raised my right leg to dodge another wolf who was aiming for it.
'So many things at once.'
I was getting overwhelmed.
But that was fine. If things get truly bad, I can always run away.
'Time to start using the trees.'
With such a thought...
"HEEEELP!!"
***
"HEEEELP!!"
Using the voice as a guide, I run through the forest.
Despite me not having regenerated much mana, saving people was an adventurer's duty, so I couldn't rest more.
"SOMEBODYYYY!!"
'I have to be faster!'
No, if I did that, I would waste all my mana, and I wouldn't be able to save the kid. I had to think rationally.
"PLEASEEE!"
It was very hard to not let my emotions loose with such screams reaching my ears though.
But I kept my anger and anxiety under control.
When I arrived, I saw a boy covered in scars, crying. I could see a wolf jumping at him from behind.
'I'm too far!'
I was prepared to throw my sword, but―
"Left!"
The boy immediately jumped to the left and dodged the wolf.
That was when I noticed that there were seven wolves around the boy, along with another adventurer.
'That's the popsicle guy?'
When I looked at him, I involuntarily shivered.
He was desperately fighting against the wolves even though I could see he was on his last legs.
His body was covered with scars and blood from head to toe, and he was gritting his teeth and pain.
But that wasn't why I shivered.
'...What is he?'
He wasn't moving gracefuly, his swings were amateurish and his footwork was panicky.
But even so―
'I don't think I could do that.'
His face and body were clearly showing signs of fatigue and pain, but his eyes were calm. And since his eyes were calm, his mind must've been calm too.
In such a desperate situation, he was keeping a calm mind and dealing with seven wolves at the same time, all by using those amateurish movements.
Actually, that sight of him―
'He moves just like mom.'
Perfectly knowing your limits and abilities, and using those to their fullest potential.
He might not be strong, but using the strength you have most efficiently is definitely a characteristic of the strong.
In fact―
'Why is this lazy fucker better than me?!'
The guy who spent several months doing nothing but sitting at a stall was using the tools he had better than I ever could!
I've worked so hard to get to where I was, and yet this piece of shit just comes out and beats me with no training?!
'I fucking hate talent.'
Every talented person can go fuck themselves.
I shook my head, this wasn't the time for such thoughts.
While I was thinking, I had finally reached the kid.
I took out my sword and started killing the wolves one by one with ease.
Even with the small amount of mana I had, it wasn't difficult at all. Especially since the popsicle guy was making it easier for me, he clearly knew how to work in a team.
When I was done, the popsicle guy collapsed onto the ground, and the boy passed out.
I looked at both of them.
'He's a talented piece of shit, but―'
"You came to help him, huh? You didn't run away even while being covered in scars, I didn't think you were the type."
He regained his breath before answering me.
"Don't get me wrong. The moment the situation got bad, I would've ran away without a second thought, while leaving the boy as bait."
...
"But you didn't."
"Yeah, but I would. It's just that the situation wasn't bad, so I could keep going."
The situation wasn't bad?
'He's covered in scars, completely exhausted and devoid of mana, but the situation wasn't bad? What kind of fucked up measure of bad does he have?'
I looked around at the corpses of wolves.
"You were struggling against only this much? Guess all that sitting wasn't actually making you stronger, you were just making excuses."
"Have you ever fought while protecting someone defenseless? Right after finishing a hunt? While not being completely recovered?"
...
I couldn't answer anything to that.
"Then shut up."
I couldn't help but feel a bit angry at his reply though.
"In the first place, there're eleven that I killed on the run. And you also don't know how strong I used to be, so you can't know how much stronger I've gotten by sitting around, as you say."
I frowned. He was telling the truth, and it was making me look like a bad guy. I didn't like that.
"Do you have to push my buttons like that?"
"You're pushing mine, I'm pushing yours. That's what fairness is."
Despite him saying that, I didn't feel even an ounce of irritation from him. His face was frowning from pain, but his eyes were still calm and indifferent.
In fact, now that I looked closer, those eyes looked like the eyes of a person who's given up on everything, even emotions.
My anger gave way to confusion and surprise. How could a person who's given up push himself to such limits?
Just as I was thinking that, the guy started to stand up.
"Can you carry the boy back? I'm kinda a bit too exhausted for that."
He picked up his backpack from the ground and started walking.
'...'
"Hey, what's you name?"
"Faun."
He didn't even turn back to look at me, it felt as though he was ignoring me.
"My―"
"Ah, don't even bother telling me your name, I won't remember it. In my memories, you will always just be the 'rude girl', nothing more, nothing less."
"..."
You know that feeling? When you become so angry that you end up becoming calm?
That's what happened to me.
It was such an expert way of pushing my buttons, that I was more impressed than anything.
I sighed. While I didn't like being ignored, I shouldn't care about it too much either.
'Yeah, what do I care whether he knows my name or not?'
I don't need for a fucking dumbass to know my name.
***
I opened the door.
"You are quite la― What happened?!"
Ryuni's eyes widened upon seeing me.
I had washed off the blood by using magic, but my scars had remained.
Still, I was kinda surprised that Ryuni had that worried look on her face. Didn't expect for her to care about me.
'Of course she would care. I'm her and her brother's lifeline.'
"Oh, I just got into a kind of bad situation back there. Don't worry, I can still cook and move fine."
It hurt, but that was nothing new for me, especially since I started using Extreme Mana Capacity Increase.
That said, going back to adventuring will have to wait for a couple of days. I still need to recover.
"That amount of scars is not a kind of bad situation, it's a really bad situation!"
"No, a really bad situation is one in which my livelihood is threatened. This time around it's just scratches."
She had a bewildered look on her face.
"Anyways, I'm going to my room. Considering your brother's not here, that must mean you've ate already, so I have no need to be down here."
I walked upstairs.
The moment I walked into my room and closed the door behind me, I had to physically stop my fist from punching my face.
I had to calm down. There was a good reaso―
'A good reason?! A GOOD REASON?! God, I'm so pathetic. Just because someone cried for help, I couldn't ignore it. That's all I had to do! Ignore it! But I couldn't! Because of these stupid ethics ingrained into my soul, because of the kindness I have... I'm so pathetic. I lost so much strength, and for what?! For NOTHING! I literally gained NOTHING!'
Even if I gained nothing, it's not like I lost anything either. I can spend the time I'm recovering focusing on coming up with even more ideas. It's better earlier than later.
'Excuses! Fricking excuses and nothing more. I lost strength because of my kindness, and I'm trying to make excuses. That strength could've gone to so many more useful things! There's a circle underneath this entire country, and I'm spending my strength on some stupid kid?! Think, Me, think! The life of one is nothing compared to the life of millions!'
Yes, those two aren't comparable, but it's hard to ignore a death that's right in front of you and one you can prevent.
When millions die in a country across the globe, you don't care. It is when you are walking on your street and see a traffic accident with your own eyes that you do care.
It makes sense I acted like that. It was an inherently human thing to do.
'I don't care if it makes sense, I don't care if it's human, I...'
I fall down on the ground on my knees. For the first time in a long while, tears start hitting the floor.
'I just don't want to be the reason millions die...'
I don't want to be late by just one second, all because I spent money on comfort, like a sofa or something. I don't want to not be able to stop the circle from activating by just one step, all because I helped a kid somewhere down the line, which wasted my time and strength.
'If only I had someone...'
But I couldn't tell anyone.
The organization who made this circle must be big. Otherwise, someone would've found out about the circle already. And since the organization was big, they definitely had some people in very important positions in this country, so telling the authorities was stupid.
Jagon was clearly being watched, and if he made any weird moves, they would take note of that. Probably every strong person who could mess up their plans is being watched by them, so telling other people about it also didn't seem like a good idea.
I didn't even know how many eyes and ears they had everywhere.
I could try and spread the word while there are no mad people around me, but it's not like every member of their organization had to be mad. It's just that the two I've met were mad.
So not only did I not know how many eyes and ears they had, I didn't even know who and what were those eyes and ears.
So I had no choice but to keep this information to myself. Slowly unraveling more about this secret organization all of my own effort.
'――---'
"Purrr~."
The soft voice of a black cat stopped me from going further down the pit of my thoughts.
"A...ha. Right, I guess I'm not fully alone."
With shaky hands, I started petting Ispra.
...My hand did not stop shaking no matter how much I petted her, nor was my mind becoming clearer, but it still felt better.
Knowing that, at least, there was a cat I could talk to about my troubles.
'Yep, she might just be a cat, but that makes it better. Who could be wary of a cat?'
I looked at the ceiling.
After a long time of contemplating, I stood up.
It was not the time for crying. I already messed up, I couldn't afford to waste any more time.
I opened my backpack and took out the last thing Jagon left me. It was a vial full of white liquid.
It was a safe drug that made you able to do more complicated calculations for a limited time. In other words, a brain boosting drug.
Now, this drug was safe. Jagon said it was safe, and he said that all of the high-ranking mages use this and haven't noticed any side effects. It wasn't addictive either.
Jagon said to use this if I got into a really bad situation, but I could guess the real meaning behind why he gave me this.
It was to found out where it was made. And more importantly―
Why I could feel madness from it.