I took a deep breath out of sheer reflex, and started trying to get that elusive mana under my control.
It was difficult, but more importantly, I wasn't quite sure how to do it.
You see, you can control your own mana. ...That's it. There's no 'picture yourself grabbing your mana' or 'don't control it, guide it, it will do what you want by itself.'
You can just control your mana, no hows, ifs, ands or buts.
Even I wasn't any different, despite all my quirks.
That's where the main problem stood. I did not know how to grasp mana that was not quite mine, because previously I did it instinctively.
So I started trying.
I imagined a hand that would grab the mana. I imagined the mana like a river that flows. I imagined the mana like a force of nature.
I tried dozens of different things, none of which worked.
'Welp, I guess this is why nobody from this world can control mana that is not quite theirs.'
Next, I tried something I had in mind for a long time.
I imagined molecules.
***
"You tried to control mana that's not fully yours?! No wonder you ended up like that!"
"What, was it really that bad of an idea?"
"Of course! You can control mana that's yours and only yours. Anything else would be suicide, even something that's only 1% different!"
I couldn't help but get confused.
"So nobody can control mana that's not theirs?"
"There's not a single person like that in history."
I looked down in contemplation.
"Not a single one, huh?"
***
That means I am the first one.
I am the first person in the history of forever to control mana that is not quite mine.
―It is obvious, but the differences between me and the people of this world are not only physiological, but also mental.
On the surface level, it means that killing is something which gets a negative reaction from my body.
On a deeper level, my entire view and knowledge of how the world works is also different.
The people of this world do not know about molecules or atoms. They do not know that things are just made up of smaller things.
In their view, if water is mixed with milk, then the resulting thing is a completely different substance.
In my view, the molecules of the water and milk both still exist, it's just that they are very close together.
This difference in view is what allows me to control mana that is not quite mine. I understand that the 'Mixed Mana' is just molecules of my mana and the molecules of atmosphere mana close together, not a completely new substance.
So I just thought about controlling my mana molecules, and it worked.
I could now control Mixed Mana, just like my normal mana... not really.
It seemed like Mixed Mana was harder to control, which made sense.
'Oh, right, I'm in the middle of battle.'
Using the Mixed Mana, I structured a Shape, rotated it, and the gorilla got hit right in the face with an Ice Lance.
Both Souma and Mitsuki capitilized on that opportunity, not realizing what kind of crazy thing I'd done.
'Yep, it's just as OP as expected.'
Remember my whole spiel about the problem with spells?
About how it is easy to react to spells, due to how many steps they take?
Well, Mixed Mana completely solves that, the fact that the gorilla hadn't managed to dodge was proof.
You see, I had used my previously spoken of tactics. I hid Shapes within Shapes and also reconstructed Shapes at the last moment.
But none of those things worked on the gorilla, it was able to react to everything I threw at it with ease.
And yet, it didn't dodge the Ice Lance I made with Mixed Mana, despite me not trying to do it quickly.
It was simply because it looked like it appeared out of nowhere.
The gorilla can sense mana, but since it didn't sense any of my mana, it wasn't on guard. It didn't expect to be hit with Mixed Mana at all.
Mixed Mana was going to be my trump card. It was something I was going to use only when backed into a corner... or when the people around me can't understand what I just did.
The current moment was the second situation. Mitsuki and Souma don't use external mana sensing, so they didn't realize what I just did.
'Mixed Mana is something I must keep under wraps for all costs. After all, it can only be used once in a public setting before rumors start to spread.'
Mixed Mana is not impossible to sense, it's just that the creatures of this world don't expect for me to be able to control it. Once they do realize though, it will be completely useless.
That's why, even though I once again made an Ice Lance with Mixed Mana, the gorilla was able to dodge this one all too easily again.
'Well, that one time was enough.'
That momentary shock was what I was after in the first place. Both Mitsuki and Souma perfectly used that moment, and managed to take out both of its eyes.
It still wasn't a pushover though. With its mana sensing alone it was still able to give us a run for our money.
That's why, I spent all the mana I had, and then attacked the gorilla in its crotch.
With me not having any mana, the gorilla expected me to be dead, so it didn't react to the attack once again.
It was very angry at being fooled twice, I could see that.
I smirked.
'Yep, that's how I fight.'
Sorry gorilla, it's just personal. You attacked my party, so I had no choice but to do this.
"Leila's done."
Upon hearing that, using the last bits of her mana, Mitsuki hit the gorilla in its leg, temporarily restricting its movements.
We jumped back, and a huge fireball fell right on top of the gorilla.
It started screaming and running around in agony, as we slowly got further away.
"So, did we win?"
I sighed.
"Normally I would hit you in the head for saying that, Souma. But yeah, seems like it."
A Fire Meteor was a powerful spell, so if the gorilla was fine after this... no, it was not possible for the gorilla to be fine after a Fire Meteor.
That said, it most definitely would not die. We'll have to finish our job with our own hands.
"Mitsuki, go rest together with Leila."
Both of them were dangerously low on mana right now. Souma and I were the only ones who could function properly.
She tried hiding her weakness by holding her head high, but the fact that she was barely walking couldn't be helped.
Souma wryly smiled upon seeing that.
"I never quite understood why she always tries to act so tough."
"Really? Are you sure you don't?"
His smile slowly disappeared, and his gaze went to the ground. After a sigh, he looked me in the eyes with that same wry smile.
"They are really obvious, aren't they?"
"Not at all. You're just good at social situations, for better or worse."
"Heh. I could say the same about you."
I shrugged.
He looked at the burning gorilla and started mumbling.
"For better or worse..."
***
"Kya!"
"Wow, that is an uncharacteristically cute noise for you. But I think this proves my point. If you can't even dodge my flick, how useful will you be?"
Mitsuki glared while rubbing her forehead.
"That is true, but you have had the same amount of time to rest. You are not in any better shape yourself, are you?"
I flexed my muscles.
"I am just fine. Besides, the main problem is the mental burden. I am the only one who didn't have to deal with the gorilla's aura the whole fight, after all."
She nodded despite her reluctance. She could see my point, but couldn't accept it.
"It is way too dangerous to continue the mission by yourself. It is better to fail it then to risk so much danger."
I looked at her with my best 'Are you serious?' face, while crossing my arms.
I stared at her with that expression... until her eyes drifted away.
"Right... you are not the type to take risks. If anything, you're the most risk averse member of the party. If you're doing something, then you have an almost guaranteed way to do it."
I smiled. Now she got it.
She sighed.
"Alright, I'll give up. See you soon, then."
"See you soon. Ah, but try to catch up to Souma. You don't want him to have the burden of having to carry Leila all the way, right?"
She blinked in confusion, before nodding and running off.
With a stretch, I started walking around the forest and picking up the remaining flowers we needed. More accurately, I was walking past where the gorilla wrecked havoc. Without the trees in the way, flowers were way easier to spot.
'Some of them got crushed, but the ease of finding makes up for that.'
The best part was that all of the monsters got scared away from this place, so there were none of them here. It was quite safe.
"Ouch."
Some plant-mimics were still here though. By the way, that ouch was more a reflex than anything, I didn't actually feel any pain.
I looked at the small wound on my finger.
Blood was coming out in small amounts.
I kept looking as more and more blood left my body.
I tilted my head to the side.
...I licked the wound.
'Hm, weird.'
It was no surprise I would wonder how my blood tastes like, considering that I have no memories of ever tasting it before.
I bandaged it up and continued my search.
***
""""To our success!""""
We all 'clinked' our wooden cups and started drinking.
Leila managed to get hers down in one go.
"Ah~, that hits the spot! You know, you really are a party pooper, Faun. You don't even want to drink with us."
She pursed her lips. I put my cup down.
"Hey, I'm technically drinking with you. I'm just having apple juice."
"That's the problem! The alchohol's the main point! It's no fair for you to stay sober while we get drunk!"
"Then don't get drunk."
"You know we can't do that!"
"Then don't drink alchohol."
"That's no fun and you know it! Stop making excuses!"
"I'm not making excuses. I'm just giving you advice for what you are unhappy with."
"Grrr..."
She was clearly unsatisfied with my answers. Honestly, this banter was making me a bit happy.
"I do wonder why you never drink alchohol. Could you tell us the reason?"
"Well, since it's Mitsuki asking, sure. It's because I'm afr...aid of getting drunk. I don't like not having control of my actions. Not only that, I have weak willpower. I am almost certain that I will get addicted to alchohol once I get a taste of it."
I am the type to favor short-term happiness most of the time. Drugs, cigarrettes, vapes, alchohol, I avoided and currently avoid all those things because I would get addicted to them in no time.
'Well, I am underselling myself a bit there, but that's fine.'
It was better to convince myself that I will get addicted to them with no hope of return, than to deal with the consequences of 'trying it once'.
I was a master at lying, even though I didn't like it. At lying to myself, I am the best.
So, convincing myself about that was easy for me.
"Come ooon, just try it!"
"Are you so spoiled that you don't know what the word 'no' means?"
She started shaking Souma by the shoulder.
"Soumaaa~! Faun's making fun of me again!"
"You're just too good at giving me material. It's your fault, honestly."
I shrugged as Souma laughed at our interaction. Mitsuki was just smiling on the side.
With Souma laughing, Leila being red from embarrassment, and Mitsuki watching with a small smile and a sleepy expression, I couldn't help but smile too.
***
Coming to my house, a nostalgic scent welcomed me once again.
It was the smell of pizza.
"What's the special occasion?"
Pizza was among the 'special foods' category in the recipes I gave. I instructed Ryuni to cook those very rarely, mostly because they were not that healthy.
She turned to me.
"Well, I heard you did something impressive today. Figured a special food would be warranted."
Ah, did she hear some rumors from the customers? Makes sense.
It's not every day that such a weak party defeats a silver gorilla, the rumors must've gone crazy.
'I am standing out a bit, but that's fine.'
I will probably level up from this, so I'd say this is still a win. And this popularity will probably go away with time, just like back then with the Spear Valkyrie.
I sat down at the table next to Kilta. He was practically drooling from the appetizing scent.
I couldn't deny being a bit excited too.
I didn't remember the last time I ate pizza, so this was bound to be a treat for my tastebuds.
'Nonono, this is fine. This is totally fine. I am... still doing what I'm supposed to be doing.'
When the food was done, even Ryuni was drooling.
And once we started eating, Kilta just couldn't stop himself, while Ryuni was shocked.
"It doesn't feel like I was the one who made this. Am I really capable of making such tasty food?"
Yep, that's the kind of reaction I was expecting.
"It's easy to make tasty food as long as you don't mess anything up. And you're really good at not messing up."
In fact, she is so good at not messing up that it was annoying at one point.
It was to the degree that I decided to make her slip back then.
***
"While Mitsuki and Leila are getting ready, mind a little game?"
Souma looked at me curiously, before shrugging.
"Sure, as long as it doesn't take too long."
I took a board out of my backpack and put small wooden pieces on it.
"Since we don't have much time, let's play a little checkers."
"Never heard of it."
"Of course you haven't, I made it myself. The rules are simple, so you can pick it up in no time."
***
"Man, I almost won."
"Yeah you did. Considering your intelligence, I thought you'd do worse."
Souma opened his mouth in annoyance... before giving up and sighing.
"Oh? You learn fast."
"I do. I know you'll somehow bullshit your way out of any argument or insult."
"I think that's the first time I've heard you cuss. You really are annoyed, huh?"
He scratched his head.
"Whatcha doooing?"
I jolted from the sudden voice behind my back.
"What's this? Did I actually surprise the Faun?"
I glared at her.
"Don't even think about it, Leila. And to answer your question, we're playing checkers."
"Never heard of it."
"Of course you haven't, I made it myself. The rules are simple, so you can pick it up in no time."
Souma wheezed a bit on the side, while Leila curiously looked at the board.
"Let me try."
"Sure, against whom?"
"Against you."
***
"Damn, I lost."
"What's this? You weren't giving it your all, were you?"
"Of course. A simple casual game isn't worth for me to go all out."
"That's no good. Run it back, and this time give it your all."
I shook my head.
"Don't wanna."
"Why?!"
"Too lazy."
I picked my nose.
I truly didn't want to make my brain work right now.
"You don't get to just use that as an excuse! I said, run it back!"
"We can run it back, but I still won't be giving it my all. I'm a lazy person by nature, y'know? I'm just forced into being an active one."
She humpfed.
"Sure you are. There's no way you're a lazy person. The things you do make Mitsuki look like a lazybody. So give it your all!"
"Nah."
Loud footsteps resound behind me.
"What are doing doing to make Leila so frustrated?"
"Oh, we're just playing checkers, Mitsuki."
"Never heard of it."
"Of course you haven't, I made it myself. The rules are simple, so you can pick it up in no time."
Souma full on laughed, and I barely managed to contain my own.
Mitsuki looked at us like we were weirdos.
"I'm not sure why you're laughing, but is Leila so angry because she lost?"
"No! It's because this bastard doesn't want to go all out against me! I won, but that's the problem! There's no way I'm better than him, so he's just toying with me!"
Mitsuki looked at me curiously.
I smirked.
"Mind one game?"
She nodded.
***
"Hm, how interesting..."
Mitsuki clearly enjoyed how much of a brainteaser this game was.
I could feel Leila drilling a hole in the back of my head with her glare.
"Why... Why you piece of crap!"
I jumped out of my chair to dodge her kick.
"You say you're too lazy, and yet you go all out against Mitsuki?! I'm gonna tear you to pieces!"
I dodge her continued attacks.
"You know what? Fair."
I didn't even say anything back, mostly because seeing her this angry was enjoyable enough.
I smiled at her.
"Yes, I'm a lazy person, I hate working more than I have to. But even before that, I'm a person who enjoys being happy. If I have to work for happiness, I'll do it."
It was a simple thing, really. Happiness was the name of the game in my life.
If I am happy, I am satisfied.
If I can do something to become happier, I will do it.
And if I can do something to avoid becoming sad, I will do it too.
'That's just what my life is. A search for happiness.'
It was the same for other people too.
We all search for happiness and avoid sadness, just in different ways.
Whether it be eating delicious food, or being up to others' expectations.
That's why it's so easy to understand people. Everything they do is to make themselves happier, or to avoid sadness.
When you see things from that lense, everyone starts making sense.
***
"I do wonder why you are so set on getting this patent."
"It's quite obvious, actually. My inventions are beyond easy to make and understand, so revealing how they're made is something that comes built in with them. And getting a patent means nobody else can sell this 'extremely easy to make' invention. It's a no-brainer."
I can't stop people from making a copy themselves, but stopping other merchants from jumping onto the idea is very important.
"I also gotta built some credit."
By that, I meant exclusivity.
Exclusivity was extremely important for business.
Even if you don't provide anything one-of-a-kind, as long as you make people believe that what you have is special, they'll buy from you, even if what you have is worse than your competitors.
If I make people believe that only from me can they get the 'real' product, I'll be set.
'By people I of course mean nobles.'
Nobles keep up appearances quite a bit. It is an important thing in their line of existence.
So buying from a second-hand brand will never even cross their mind.
That is my end goal. A long time away, but attainable.
'A long time away...'
I scratched my head with a crooked frown.
'I don't feel like I have much time though.'
***
The man scratching his beard in thought was named Pilyordo, but most people in the industry knew him as the 'greedy bastard'.
Why did he have that nickname?
It was naturally because they were jealous of him.
Pilyordo was a merchant who caught everything before anyone else. He was excellent at noticing and following new trends, and also at catching ideas with a lot of potential.
That's why he had that nickname. The others just couldn't compare to his foresight, and he didn't let anyone else get in on those ideas.
Because of that foresight, he would see the potential in teaming up with me.
'Or there's a high chance of that, at least.'
Starting a business from zero would take way too long. I didn't have that much time.
That's why I wanted to borrow the power of an already existing thriving business.
Of course, to show that I held promise, I required some background. It was one of the main reasons for that popsicle stand.
It was to show that my ideas could bring in some profit, and that they become popular quickly.
He looked me in the eyes, I smiled at him.
He put the papers down.
"It is clear that you do not know exactly how the business world works. Still, you had the foresight to get a patent before giving these ideas to me so that I couldn't just copy them, so you are clearly smart. Also, most of these inventions are targetted at the untapped market of commoners. In short, you ideas are extremely different from anything before. That's normally a bad thing, but you have showed that you can make it work."
I sat there relaxed as he gave his entire spiel. Honestly, it was hard to pay attention to all of it.
He sighed.
"It is clear my words are not processing in your head. Why are you here if you can't even pay attention?"
"I'm sorry, I was just born like this. And it's not like I'm here by my own violition, my circumstances require this, not me."
He raised his eyebrow at me, but didn't question further.
"Well, anyway, I'll be forward. I'll work together with you."
"That's good to hear."
"I will also keep your involment hidden... as best as I can. After all, I'm sure you can understand that fully hiding our partnership is impossible."
"Yes, I know that."
Anyone who wanted to find out where these new items were coming from could do it pretty easily. I just didn't want the popularity of the masses, it attracts too much attention.
Just like that, I got the biggest power up of my life.