I am Racist.


…

I mean, my name is Racis T. I swear. Please don’t cancel me before chapter 1.

Anyway, I was a stand-up comedian.

Not the good kind who gets Netflix specials.

The kind who gets hit with beer bottles and told to “Meet me backstage. You’ll get one more mic.”

One night, I was performing in a bar so shady, even cockroaches walked in with bodyguards.

It was full of tattooed bikers who drink engine oil, smoke burnt rubber, lick silencers, cry over their exes, and still believe their fists are a valid debate technique.

And there I was—trying to make them laugh using yo mamma jokes and dark humor so black it should’ve come with a flashlight and some cotton.

They didn’t laugh.

I kept going.

One of them pulled out a gun.

I cracked a joke.

He cracked my skull.

Bullet. Brain. Curtains. Boom.

But here’s the funny part:

I always wanted to be a successful comedian. Maybe get a standing ovation. But what I got was Uncontrollable Blood Ovulation.

Still, I had dreams, man. Big dreams.

Make people laugh. Marry someone who doesn't need two chairs to sit. Eat three meals a day, Own a yacht (the humble kind with a helipad)

I wasn’t greedy. I would have donated 0.01% of my wealth to charity. I only wanted 99% of everything.

But fate, karma, God, or probably the trends of Webnovel had other plans.

Because instead of resting in peace…

I woke up in another world.

A fantasy world full of monsters, heroes, magic, kingdoms, war…

And zero comedy clubs.

Just my luck.

So now I’ve got a second life, a rude system, and maybe a power or two.

But being a Hero is secondary.

First, I am gonna roast dragons, clown on kings, incest—invest, I mean invest and make the whole world laugh until they cry—or kill me again.

Either way…

Welcome to the story of the most dangerous thing in every world—

A man who won’t shut up.
——— ——— ———
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I told Johnson that the brown hairs he pulled from the third tap weren't normal.


At that, I expected him to gross out like a feminist when her boyfriend asks her to split the bill but this therapist said:


"Oh. So they were just pubic hairs. I thought they were some kind of dandruff filled hair. Thanks, I got over the worry about the hairs at least."


I had forgotten the world in which I was in.


Here Aliens are horny. Ghosts are horny. Mothers kill their children by over feeding milk to them. Fathers run after their kids to make them drink their milk.


And there are no normal girls here and forget normal, the only normal girl I met was Erect's sister and that girl called me her brother so I couldn't do anything with her too. Well, I can but she is only fourteen years old and I have no intentions of making myself popular for the wrong reasons.


Chapter 155 - Touch Grass? Nah, Touch Pubes