"You really misunderstand me," Kizaru said with a grin. "Look at Tatsumaki, Fubuki, Esdeath… Have I ever forced anything? I never act unless the girl's willing, alright?"
Ai Haibara rolled her eyes hard.
So what if you don't force anyone? It doesn't change the fact that you're a horny, womanizing bastard. And the worst part? He had left her—a defenseless little girl—outside alone just to mess around with women.
"Kizaru~!"
Before Ai Haibara could finish her rant, Hancock walked out from the back, wearing nothing but an oversized shirt on her upper body.
She completely ignored Ai Haibara, flinging herself onto Kizaru's lap like she belonged there, snuggling up against him without shame.
Even though it was just a brief glance, Hancock's breathtaking beauty made Ai Haibara's eyes widen.
It's not like she hadn't seen beautiful women before—this might sound conceited, but before shrinking, Ai Haibara had considered herself quite the beauty, too.
But standing next to Hancock, she couldn't help but feel a little inferior. This absolute goddess actually likes someone like Kizaru? That womanizing creep?!
"Come on now, we've got company."
Kizaru finally managed to peel Hancock off just long enough to point out Ai Haibara sitting on the opposite couch.
"Who's this girl? Your daughter?"
Hancock asked casually, still sitting in his lap, barely glancing in Ai Haibara's direction.
To her, any girl who couldn't threaten her throne as the world's most beautiful woman was irrelevant. She didn't even take Nami seriously—why would she care about someone like Ai Haibara?
Only someone like Esdeath, who was not only powerful but almost equally stunning, ever made Hancock feel a hint of rivalry.
"Who the hell would be the daughter of a perverted creep like him?!"
Ai Haibara snapped. So beautiful… yet clearly brain-damaged. Maybe there was justice in the world after all. Somehow, thinking that actually calmed her down.
"Daughter…? Kizaru-sama! Let's have a daughter together!"
"We'll raise her as Amazon Lily's next Empress, so I can stay by your side forever!"
Hancock lit up with an idea and cooed sweetly into Kizaru's ear.
The sheer destructive power of the world's most beautiful woman acting cute was enough to make even Ai Haibara's heart flutter.
Every word from Hancock's luscious lips made Ai Haibara want to nod in agreement… on Kizaru's behalf.
Wait—what?!
I'm a girl too! What the hell is wrong with me?!
Fortunately, Ai Haibara quickly noticed something was wrong with herself, but what terrified her was the fact that even though she realized something was off mentally, her body was still reacting—face flushed, heart racing, utterly unable to resist Hancock's charm.
Just as she began to panic, Kizaru casually snapped his fingers.
A faint wave of Conqueror's Haki quietly pulsed through the room with a hum.
It stunned Haibara just long enough to break Hancock's passive allure over her.
Hancock noticed this but didn't mind at all—this kind of thing was way too common. It didn't matter if you were male or female; her charm was nearly impossible to resist.
Unless she was deliberately trying to charm someone during combat, Hancock usually didn't do it on purpose. But if someone couldn't even resist the passive effect of her presence, well… tough luck.
Of course, if Kizaru gave the word, that'd be a different story altogether.
"No need to rush with the whole daughter thing," Kizaru said with a smirk, arms wrapped around the Hancock straddling him. "As the saying goes—how can one start a family before pirates are wiped out? Ah, of course, Hancock doesn't count. I couldn't bear to share our alone time. Adding another person would only take away from the love I give to Hancock~"
With their cheeks nearly pressed together, the heat between them sparked again, heading straight for round two—or three—of romantic warfare.
Off to the side, Ai Haibara could only curse internally. Even in this world, there's no way Hancock is the only woman in Kizaru's mess of a love life.
During Kizaru's live broadcasts, she'd seen a cute secretary constantly by his side—God knows how many girls have already fallen into his "clutches."
And now, after nearly getting charmed to death herself, Haibara's first impression of Hancock had hit rock bottom.
A stunningly beautiful woman… with an absolutely nasty personality. She deserved to be head over heels for a scumbag like Kizaru!
"When will the ship be ready to take me to the dinosaur research site?"
Just as Hancock's breathing began to grow heavy and the fire ignited again, Haibara's cold voice suddenly cut through the tension like a blade.
The seductive atmosphere shattered in an instant. Though she was a lovestruck airhead, Hancock wasn't dumb—she immediately shot a glare at Haibara.
This little girl was clearly doing it on purpose! Could she actually be Kizaru's daughter?
Looking at Haibara's hair color, which was clearly different from Kizaru's, Hancock began speculating: Which woman had a daughter with Kizaru?!
Nami was too young—definitely not her.
Gion, Kizaru's supposed fiancée? Wrong hair color.
Stussy? Reportedly can't have kids…
Wait—could it be that blue-haired vixen from last time?
---
They say that when women suspect cheating, they turn into Sherlock Holmes—IQ instantly surpassing Einstein.
Hancock might not have cared about Kizaru fooling around with other women, but the way she could name every female who'd ever been near him showed she definitely kept tabs.
After silently memorizing Haibara's hair color and features, Hancock decided: This needs to be investigated.
"Oh, that? I'll ask around," Kizaru said, picking up a Den Den Mushi from the desk and dialing up Vice Admiral Dalmatian.
If he still had his personal warship, he could've sent Haibara to Little Garden directly.
Unfortunately, Kizaru had recently transferred his old vessel to the front lines for replacement.
His former ship—a so-called "new model" from decades ago—was notorious for being the weakest ship in Marine HQ.
And since Kizaru had long been slacking off and hitching rides instead of using his own ship, most of the maintenance budget had somehow ended up… in his pocket.
In a massive war like the Summit Battle, his outdated warship was predictably sunk at the front line. But the sailors onboard? They'd already been warned by Kizaru ahead of time, and most bailed before the ship even went down.
"Hmm? Admiral Kizaru? What can I do for you?" came the response from the Den Den Mushi.
A matching Dalmatian-spotted hat appeared atop the Den Den Mushi's head—clearly indicating that the one on the other end of the line was none other than Vice Admiral Dalmatian, who had eaten the Inu Inu no Mi, Model: Dalmatian, a Zoan-type Devil Fruit.
Dalmatian, who had remained at Marine Headquarters, wasn't injured, nor was he assigned to hunt pirates or support other branches. Instead, he served as a mobile force, ready to be dispatched at a moment's notice.
And whether as the incoming Fleet Admiral or as one of Marine HQ's top powerhouses, Admiral Kizaru had full authority to issue him orders.
"Dalmatian, your flagship's still on standby, right?"
Kizaru asked casually. The two weren't just a superior and subordinate in rank—they were also senpai and kouhai under Zephyr's tutelage, and both proud members of the Navy's slacker faction.
Their personalities were wildly different, but that didn't stop them from forging a solid "comrade-in-arms" relationship—mostly built in the bars of Pleasure Street.
"Yes, ready to set sail at any time!"
Dalmatian responded without hesitation.
At that moment, he was already speculating on what the mission could be. Maybe to pursue remnants of the Whitebeard Pirates? Or perhaps to assist Vice Admiral Gion in tracking down escaped prisoners from Impel Down?
"Good. Send someone to my office to pick someone up, and escort them safely to Little Garden. Make sure the security detail is thorough—the individual just donated a large batch of medicine to HQ, and may have saved the lives of quite a few Marines."
Kizaru issued the task with his usual laid-back tone—while also casually wrapping Ai Haibara in the protective halo of a Marine ally. This way, he wouldn't need to worry about Dalmatian being too casual with her protection.
"Understood! I'll send someone over immediately. Um… Admiral Kizaru, about your promotion ceremony—when is it?"
Dalmatian first accepted the mission without hesitation, but then hesitated slightly before asking.
After all, he really wanted to attend Kizaru's promotion to Fleet Admiral. For the officers of the slacker faction, seeing one of their own ascend to the top of Marine HQ was the kind of miracle they wouldn't have dared dream of before.
Just before the Summit War, no one could've imagined that Kizaru—long known for being the king of laziness and the poster child for collecting a paycheck while doing the bare minimum—would be the one to step up and face off against both Whitebeard and Shanks, coming out of it with one Emperor dead and another wounded.
Even more incredible was how Kizaru, after securing the legendary Pure Gold, forced the Five Elders to grudgingly acknowledge his promotion, despite their reluctance.
Honestly, who wouldn't want to shake off the "deadweight" label if their faction leader finally decided to shape up?
Now that their slacker-in-chief was rising to the top, if Dalmatian didn't witness the moment with his own eyes, he'd probably never stop regretting it—even after retirement.
°°°
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