After making her bed, tucking the edges neatly beneath the mattress, Nova stared in the mirror as she plaited her hair. There were a lot of things on her "to-do" list today. Including talking to Hollis about the gifts he'd been giving her, checking in on Bran and Finch, and…talking to Nesta.
She was still debating that last one.
If she hesitated, she wouldn't do it, so she might as well start bright and early. Her confidence was soaring as she took the stairs two at a time to the dining room, rehearsing in her head for the millionth time how she'd politely tell him she didn't feel comfortable with him spending money on her. Exchanging on holidays was fine, but a random diamond brooch on a Wednesday, not so much.
Nova practically slammed into a wall as she entered the dining room, raising her brows at the new addition to the table. Eira, who sat between Ana and Hollis, ate her breakfast with everyone. She seemed to be feeling better; that was good, but would her presence interfere with gaining Hollis's attention? Oh, what a terrible thing to think, she scolded herself as she took an open seat next to Cassian. With Emerie, Nesta, and Kyra absent, there was a bit more room, yet Nova felt more suffocated than ever.
She didn't particularly dislike children. She'd just never been around them much. The Island's youngest occupants were ages thirteen and older, and while Nova didn't converse with them, she didn't see them as the young four-year-old at the table now, using both hands to drink juice that dribbled down and stained her shirt.
As Nova loaded her toast with butter, she watched Hollis and Eira out of the corner of her eye. Engaged in a conversation about ice bears, Nova, and it seemed everyone else listened to her talk about how her papa said their paws were as big as a dinner plate, but that she could never eat off it because 'who knew where their paws had been?'
Ana smiled, "And what will you be doing today, Eira?"
"I can color." She nodded, holding onto a piece of bacon that she took tentative bites from. "And I can draw. And I can tie."
"Tie?"
"Tie shoes. I just learned how. And I can tie ribbons. And I can tie bows…"
Nova zoned out and figured she should train first before talking to Hollis, at least by then, Eira would be asleep. Four-year-olds take naps, right?
"Hey," a voice next to her said, tugging on one of the snaps of her leathers.
Looking down in surprise, Nova's brows raised as Eira stared up at her and asked, "Do you tie all of your bows, too?"
"Uhm…yeah."
"That's good."
When Nova thought that would be the end of the conversation, it wasn't. Eira, small in her little green dress that matched the bow in her white hair, walked to her chair and, with some effort, dragged it around Ana's and Azriel's chairs. She then pushed it forward to fit between Az and Nova and clambered on top, as if it were a few stories high rather than a few feet.
When settled, she turned to Nova and asked, "If you tie your bows, why aren't they in your hair?"
Nova frantically glanced around the table, and everyone…everyone… wore the same humored expression. It was as if the conversation was the funniest thing they'd ever witnessed.
"Hey," Eira pushed her arm and Nova instinctively pulled away, "Why don't you put bows in your hair?"
"Uh…I don't know."
"Can I put bows in your hair?"
"No."
Rhys snorted, but quickly covered his mouth with the crook of his elbow and glanced at Feyre, who found herself staring at the wall, gnawing on her lower lip.
"Oh…Well, can I put bows in Potato's hair?"
"I suppose so. If she lets you." How many questions had she been asked so far? It felt endless. And why were they all about bows?
Nova tried eating as quickly as she could, not because she was hungry, but the sooner she was full, the quicker she could excuse herself to the training arena. That, however, didn't stop Eira from asking at least a hundred more questions. From the topic of Azriel's hands to Cassian's dagger, she'd noticed earlier. They all conversed with her easily, so why couldn't she?
Despite everyone else being halfway through their meal, Nova excused herself from the table, but when she stood, so did Eira. Glancing down at her, Nova pursed her lips into a thin line and assumed she must be moving to sit closer to Cassian, as she'd already asked if she could put bows in his hair too. Color her surprised, when she walked toward the dining room doors with the intent to put on her coat for the trek to the training arena, that the sound of little footsteps followed her.
Pausing, Nova lifted her arm and looked down to her left, finding Eira smiling up at her. Still holding her strawberry.
"Where are you going?"
Nova clenched her jaw and met Ana's eyes, who was already standing to her feet. She walked to Eira, offered her hand, and smiled, "Nova is going to strengthen her muscles. Would you like to do the same?"
"Oh, yes! I can go with Nova?"
Ana smiled, "Hm, not today, but I have tasks to help build your muscles, too. Let's go try, shall we?"
"Yes, please!" Eira smiled, happily skipping away with Ana and disappearing into the kitchen.
Taking the opportunity, Nova dressed in her travel clothes, dashed across the room, and out into the snow. She could winnow, certainly, but that gave up the chance to push her body over snowbanks. It was a warm-up of sorts to the training she'd undergo in a few minutes. She had to regain her focus.
Shaking off the snow from her shoulders - and her nerves - Nova started her routine in the left corner where the steps of ice stood from her first visit. Now, instead of crawling, she walked up and down with ease.
"You're doing well," Klaus said, approaching with a small smile.
Smiling crookedly, Nova nodded, "Thank you. I intend to try something new today."
"Oh?"
Her attention drifted to the climbing high bars. Something that had once been her favorite was now daunting. The potential plunge into icy water didn't seem ideal, but beggars couldn't be choosers, and every new opportunity was a chance to grow. With that in mind, and before she could change her mind, she started for the high bar where Kole was already dangling.
"Just try to think about anything else," Kole said, moving from bar to bar, "If you think about the cold, you'll feel it more."
Nodding, Nova took a deep breath, positioned herself beneath the gleaming metal of the bar, and leaped. Gripping with tight fingers, Nova looked down at her boots just above the ice—the cold bit into her palms like numbing stings. It reminded her of slapping the surface of water.
"Stay relaxed," Klaus said from his position to the side, watching her as she took her left hand off the bar and reached forward to grip the next. "If you panic, you'll be more susceptible to letting the outside world control you."
Nova couldn't help but smile slightly as she reached for the next bar, her fingers growing more numb by the second. "Are you telling me to control my chaos?"
Chuckling, Klaus nodded as he walked alongside the pool's edge. "I suppose I am."
A cold, slippery three minutes passed, and Nova gripped the last bar. In her haste to recoil from the cold, she let go. Landing on her feet, shooting pain zipped from her soles to the top of her head. She sucked in a harsh breath as Klaus and Kole moved to her side.
"I'm alright," Nova murmured and forced a tight smile. "The ground is just…hard."
His voice firm, Klaus frowned as he said, "Take a moment. Gather yourself before continuing further. The last thing you want to do is lose your progress."
Nova took heed of his advice and moved to the edge of the ring, where Kyra and Nieve sparred. No blades. Just movement and traditional take-down methods. As much as Nova wanted to get back to training, she found herself entranced as she memorized their footwork. Nieve was quick, but Kyra had the skill that superseded her attempts to evade.
"Nieve can take her," Kole said with a smirk, standing next to Nova with his arms crossed.
Nova shook her head, "She's strong, but she's not using her strength in her favor. Her strides are too long, her stance too wide…"
As she said it, Kyra swept her leg, catching Nieve's guard and balance off guard, sending her to the ground with a loud umph.
After helping Nieve to her feet, Kyra smirked over at Nova. "What do you think? Ready to enter the ring again?"
Nova raised a brow and smirked, "Against you? I wouldn't dream of it."
Snorting, Kyra shook her head, "Flattery. It's cute. Come on, I'll go easy on you."
"Don't you dare," Nova said, her voice shifting to take on a more serious tone. She'd rather lose miserably than have someone let her win.
Nieve limped out, dusting fragments off the back of her pants as Nova stepped in. "Good luck," she said, "she's good."
Her eyes drifted to Kyra, planting her feet against the slick ice, which had reverted to slush after the session before. Brute strength wouldn't be her ally at the moment. Unable to charge her, she'd need to rely on something else.
Kyra lunged, but Nova didn't move her stance. Staying firm, she glanced down at her feet and watched. Moving left or right, she had balance, but when both of her feet pointed in opposite directions, her ankles shivered. She could move efficiently in one direction, but not both- not on the ice.
When Kyra collided with her, she let herself slide backward, but as she did, she placed both feet between hers and pulled them apart. Palms against her shoulders, she pushed forward, sending Kyra backward.
Managing to catch her balance, she grinned as she shook her head. "Not even going to throw a punch?" Just as she said it, Kyra sent a sharp right hook.
Nova's arm shot up, letting Kyra's arm wrap around hers, but instead of pushing her this time, Nova pulled her close. Close enough that they stood nose to nose before Nova slid her leg between hers, lifting her off her feet with as much core strength as she could muster, she slammed her into the ground on her back.
"Dammit!" Kyra exclaimed.
"Okay, I'll say it," Finch said from the sidelines, watching Kyra and Nova entangled on the floor, "it's turning me on."
Nova looked down at Kyra, then over at Finch, "Should I kick his ass or would you like to?"
"I'll do it," Kole said, lifting his hand in the air, which earned him a quick elbow to the gut by none other than Finch.
"In the ring, if you please." Klaus reminded as Nova stood to her feet and offered her hand to Kyra. She'd never know for sure if she'd decided to hold back, but it did feel good to dust off that skill again.
As they vacated the space, Finch already had Kole in a headlock. Their fight was how Nova usually fought in the ring. Perhaps someday soon, she too could partake, but until then, she'd take it one step at a time.
"Hey, Nova!" Finch called out as he struggled to get out of Kole's grip. "Can I put a bow in your hair?"
Nova rolled her eyes and directed her attention to Kole, "He has shin splints, by the way."
"What?" Finch reeled back wildly. "I do not have...whatever that is."
"You limp after standing on your toes, and massage your shins after you get inside from the cold. The tendons tighten, setting you off balance and making your movements less efficient when overused. Something that helps us know how to assist you on the battlefield will also aid Kole in the wonderful task of kicking your ass in my stead." Nova offered him a grin, raised her middle finger, and proceeded to the next station.
Traveling back to the palace through the snow left her legs shaking from exertion. She'd managed to crawl under the sharp icicles, leaving her with aching claw marks down her back. Now, all she wanted to do was take a shower and relax against her mattress. But before that, there was something she needed to do.
"Have you seen Hollis?" Nova asked, poking her head into the kitchen where she suspected Ana to be. She wasn't alone. Eira, elbow deep in her effort to knead bread dough, sat next to Azriel, who read from his book. The whole scene seemed so oddly familiar, and it took her a moment to realize Ana had replied.
"Nova?" Ana asked, tightening her apron around her waist. "Did you hear me?"
"What?"
Ana smiled softly, "I last saw Hollis in the library."
A cloud of flour flung into the air as Eira excitedly clapped her hands, "I want to see Hollis, too! I can come with you."
Fighting Kyra had been light work compared to the idea of Eira trailing after her with floury hands. "It's probably best if you keep doing what you're doing."
Before Eira could deflate, Ana set a slicked pan in front of her. "We can see Hollis later, but the bread should go into the oven first. Then we'll need to tidy the kitchen. We should never leave our messes for someone else to clean."
Slipping out of the doorway, Nova cringed. How often would she have to do that? She felt bad, guilty even, but this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have with someone else present. It would be difficult enough as it was.
It didn't take long to arrive in the library. As she stepped inside, she closed the doors behind her and glanced around. It seemed Hollis was alone, thank the cauldron.
Lifting his head from his book, Hollis smiled, "Hey. Helion's reading material arrived an hour ago. Have you come to look?"
Nova blinked and stared down at him. With his back resting against the couch as he sat on the floor, there were piles upon piles of books surrounding him.
"There has to be some sort of answer in these," Hollis continued, "I'm sure he's already scoured through them himself, but a fresh set of eyes couldn't do any harm." Looking up from the pile, Hollis frowned. "Nova, are you alright?"
Of course, while she was off, worried about being followed by a four-year-old and how she'd tell Hollis to stop gifting her things, the others were looking for answers to help their situation. She had no reason…no right to complain about anything. Maybe there was another way to make it clear nothing would come of this, no matter how hard he tried to win her over. Perhaps reserved silence was the best course. It would at least spare his feelings in the process while leaving her with less guilt. Then, if he was just being friendly, what harm could come of creating a bit of distance between them?
Friends don't spend every moment together, and a true friend couldn't expect that from her. She considered Bran to be one of her close friends, and she didn't spend nearly as much time with him as she did with Hollis. A bit of separation would be good for them. Nobody ever said they needed to be close friends, just friendly.
Nova nodded and offered a smile, "I'll take a few to my room. I'm a bit tired from training today." Bending at the waist, she gathered an armload and straightened her spine. "Also, Eira will be around shortly, I imagine. She's very fond of you."
Chuckling, Hollis turned another leaf in his book, "I could say the same about you."
She rolled her eyes and started for the door. "I'm not good with kids."
There wasn't an argument he could come up with that could disprove her words. From what he watched at breakfast this morning, it was apparent to everyone that Nova hadn't spent much time around children, if ever. Not that she had to have a natural affinity toward them, but it was interesting to note.
"Does that bother you?" Nova asked, and Hollis looked up, confused. She wasn't sure what compelled her to ask it, but she wanted to know. She really wanted to know.
Furrowing his brow, Hollis shook his head, "Why should it?"
Nova inwardly cringed and nodded, "Just…wondered." Before she could stick her foot further down her throat, she pushed back through the doors, and though Eira (standing on the other side of the door) looked up at her with expectant eyes and a grin, Nova continued past her and up the stairs.
"Why didn't she look at me?" Eira asked Ana, holding her skirt with clenched fingers and blue, sorrowful eyes.
Ana squeezed her fingers with a gentle smile. "Do you still want to see if Hollis would like some tea?"
Nodding, Eira wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and walked into the library. A quick cough into her elbow, Ana looked up at Azriel's worried scowl as he placed a hand on the small of her back.
She smiled and said, "I'm alright."
The clock chimed twice, and Nova looked up from her book with blurred vision. She'd dived into her collection of tomes shortly after returning to her room and had settled herself in the window seat since then. This time, skipping dinner had been a choice. She didn't particularly feel like having eyes on her or sticky fingers tugging on her clothes.
As she closed her book and set it on the table, she rubbed her eyes. Puffy from the strain of focus, as much as she wanted to sleep, she couldn't ignore the pains that stabbed her stomach. A quick snack, then she'd be off to bed.
The hallways were quiet, meaning every step she made could be heard throughout the whole palace. As quietly as she could, she made her way to the kitchen for another lonely night meal and filled a quick plate of meats, cheeses, and crackers. Then, as quietly as she'd entered, she left just the same, but while she rounded the corner, a chill ran over her skin and the hair on the back of her neck stood at attention.
A soft sound floated down the hall like a disembodied cry. Nova paused in her steps and waited, listening. The cry came again, followed by a bit of sniffling. With a furrowed brow, Nova followed the sound down the hall and into the parlor. Standing in front of the long-dead fire was Eira. Clutching a blanket in her arms, her shoulders shook from either the cold or crying. Probably both.
"Eira?" Nova whispered as she tiptoed closer. "What are you doing in here?" She looked around for someone, anyone who might have accompanied her, but the rest of the space was vacant.
Trying to catch her breath, her frail voice stuttered an answer, "I miss my mama."
Nova's shoulders sagged as her throat tightened. She quickly glanced around the room again, but Ana wasn't here to step in, nor was Hollis with his soft demeanor. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to…
Forcing the panic from her head, she inched forward, "I'm…sorry," she hesitated and tried again, "I know you're sad, and it's okay to be sad. It's a sad thing that happened. Do you want to go to sleep? Sleeping helps me feel better when I'm sad."
"You get sad?" Eira asked softly as tears rolled down her cheeks.
Nova nodded, "Sometimes…"
Breathing another shaky breath, Eira shook her head, "I don't want to go to bed. I dreamed about them. They died, you know."
"I know." Nova frowned, clawing through her brain to think of something, anything to help. Perhaps children weren't so different from adults. They were all people after all, and people needed comfort. "How about this," she said, setting her plate of snacks on the table, "you sit on the couch and…you can put bows in my hair."
"I thought you didn't like bows." She wiped her eyes.
Nova shrugged, "I'm sure you could change my mind."
Turning to the fireplace, Nova leaned down and struck a match to catch the kindling with a warm blaze. Without prompting, Eira settled into the couch, still sniffling.
"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," Nova said, walked to the door and paused, ensuring she would stay put, then returned upstairs to her room. There, she opened the dresser of ribbon she'd noticed earlier and took out all the strands. Turning to leave, she paused and stared at her bed, where her fox and squirrel stared back at her.
Pursing her lips into a thin line, she reached for the fox and held it in her hands, glancing between it and the squirrel before finally shutting off the light and going back downstairs. Happy to see Eira was still on the couch, Nova approached and kneeled.
"I brought some ribbon," Nova said, holding the silk pieces up, "and something else…" Holding out the stuffed fox, Nova watched Eira's bloodshot eyes light with sudden wonder.
Nova forced a small smile. "He was there for me on nights I was sad, too…and he made me feel better. You can have him, if you'd like."
Looking up with a broad grin, "I can have him?"
Smiling, this time genuinely, Nova nodded, "Take care of him, please?"
"Oh, I will," Eira said as she carefully took the fox from Nova's extended hand and cradled him under her chin. She pressed a soft kiss to his snout and smiled, "he'll always be safe with me. I'll never even color on him."
Laughing lightly, Nova looked up as Potato slunk by, rubbing against Nova's thigh as he passed. Raising a brow, she smiled at the tufts of hair caught in various colored bows. "Potato looks lovely, by the way."
Eira giggled and sat up a little straighter, "Can I put bows in your hair now?"
With a smile, Nova nodded, "Yes, go ahead."
"What's your favorite color?" She asked as Nova turned and sat on the floor, so that her head was at the right height for Eira to decorate her hair.
"Green."
"Like an apple?"
"Hm, more like moss."
"What's moss?"
As Eira twisted and braided and twined Nova's hair in ribbons, she told her about moss and lily pads. How the morning dew on the grass made the air smell sweet, and how the fireflies always let her know it was time to rest.
"Will I ever see fireflies?" Eira yawned.
Nova smiled, "Yes, I'll make sure that you do."