"That Thoma cried and puked himself out of my body and onto the floor of his bathroom in Myrdin. His heart ached like it had been stabbed, and his entire being shook down to its core as he pounded his head against the wall; wondering, rather idiotically, I might add, whether he did something wrong, or if he simply wasn't good enough for you," I began, keeping my gaze fixed on a distant point on the far side of the glowing city.
I forced my thoughts to catch up to what I was saying with a brief pause. In that moment, I saw a tear race down her cheek out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't acknowledge it.
"However, even as emotionally mangled as I was, I was lucky to have had people I care about close to me, pulling me off the ledge before I could even get near it. Heh, it's almost funny to think about how miserable I must have looked when they came to find me," I chuckled dryly and shook my head.
I noticed a slight shift in her movements out of the corner of my eye. A slight tensing of her hands together, followed by a rapid sucking of air through tightly clenched teeth.
I knew all too well what that feeling was like.
"It wasn't a total disaster, but I'm also not saying that it couldn't have gotten any worse," I said, finally turning to look at her.
When I did, I realized tears were streaming freely down her face, and her lower lip quivered, but at that moment, I felt nothing but pity. Pity for the girl who'd shattered the love I once had for her with a simple letter because she thought she needed to. She was lost in her own trauma, but I knew if there was anyone who was going to guide her back home, it was me.
"I-I'm sorry, Thoma," she said hoarsely, using the back of her sleeve to wipe away most of the tears. "It's fine. I'm not saying that I agree with your methods, but I do understand them," I began, causing her expression to shift into one of utter confusion. "H-How could you possibly understand that? I thought you would have hated me for what I did to you," she said, swallowing another lump in her throat.
"That's the thing: I wanted to hate you. On the surface, I wanted to hate everything about your existence that could bring back memories of the time we shared. I wanted to bury you so deeply that not even the most voracious earthworm could ever find you," I sighed, feeling a weight I didn't know was still present, beginning to lift.
"Gods, I thought I'd die with all the anger flowing through my veins over how selfish I thought you were," I said, my voice lowering to little more than a whisper. I saw her face pale, her shoulders slightly trembling at the tone of my voice, and the leaden weight of my words.
"But, not unlike your situation with Ed, someone was there to keep me from doing just that," I looked over through the glass to see Ysevel smiling warmly as she and the others had returned to their seats, likely laughing at something my mother had done.
Her gaze shifted over to where I was looking, then closed with a sudden understanding. "She saved you, didn't she?" Meliss asked, shifting her gaze from Ysevel back over to me. "She did. She was there to help me not only pick up the pieces but put them back together into something much stronger. Granted, it took time and an incredible amount of patience on her part, but whatever she did worked," I said with a light chuckle, but my mention of time seemed to confuse her slightly.
"But, even going through all that, there is something I feel it's my duty to tell you," I began in a more serious tone, hoping she would take whatever I had to say to heart. "What might that be?" she asked with slight apprehension.
"Ed's a good guy, and I've known him for most of my life. I'm genuinely glad you two have gotten together, but if you want to be happy with him, I need you to promise me something: Don't bleed on someone that didn't cut you," I said softly, giving her a look that was sure to let her know I was serious, but her eyes only began to well with more tears.
"No matter how fucked up your past is, that doesn't give you the right to decide whether someone, who genuinely cares about you, can stay in your life because they are free to decide to bear that burden with you, too," I said, causing her eyes to widen in surprise, then shift away from me as she buried her face in her hands.
I let her sob for a few moments, placing a friendly hand on her shoulder, because I felt she needed to know that it was okay, but also that I didn't want her to make the same mistakes she had made with me.
"When did you get so wise?" she asked after a few moments, turning her face up to the sky as she tried to stop herself from crying, but I could only chuckle at the notion of her calling me wise. Of course, I couldn't tell her it had taken me a few years to get to this point, but that was neither here nor there.
"Promise me, Meliss. Promise me that you won't give up on him like you did me," I said, placing my other hand on her shoulder to stare into her dark green eyes intently. A few, silent heartbeats passed between us, her eyes shifting to each of mine searchingly as her small frame quivered. "I-I promise, Thoma," she finally said with a few, quick nods of agreement as I felt a warm smile beginning to grow.
"I'm glad to hear you say it aloud, because if not, I don't think I would have been able to keep the others at bay for much longer," I chuckled, but this only made her stare at me in mild confusion. "N-Nevermind," I waved a hand dismissively and shook my head.
I pulled a handkerchief Ysevel had knowingly prepared for this moment from my tunic and handed it to her. "Here you go. Can't go back to a party looking like that, can we?" I said lightly, causing her to mildly scoff and rip it from my hands. "It's your fault I look like this," she said, wiping her cheek. "Technically, it's yours, but who's counting?" I continued in the same tone with a shrug.
"Ready to head back inside?" I asked, realizing she was done cleaning herself up as she inhaled deeply and shook her head. "Not really, but… thank you, Thoma," she said, giving me a tear-stained smile. Not knowing what else to say, I returned the smile and led us back into the Great Hall.
That was beautifully executed, Ysevel sent with a nod and a warm smile toward us. Thanks. I just hope she learned something from that, I said, returning to my seat beside her and receiving a handful of nods from the others. I still want to crush her, but I have to agree with Ysevel, Kalia sent with a raised mug of Murt. Maybe I should let you two duel so she knows what's coming if she slips up with Ed, I sent with a chuckle.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," a heraldic dwarf began, drawing our attention to him immediately as we rose from our seats. "Please, welcome Lord Calduran Lytehammer, Lord of Narin," he said with a grandiose gesture to a doorway on his right. A roar of cheers rose from the dwarves who welcomed the stocky, white-bearded dwarf.
His hands were old and calloused, likely from tinkering with their strange technology for many years, but his bright, green eyes were sharp and calculating. His clothes looked much like the tunics we were wearing, though he was garnished with bits of rare metals I struggled to identify.
As we watched him enter, followed by Balgrim close behind, he raised his hand to settle the others down. "Druid Balgrim has told me of an expertly handled situation earlier today," he began in a wizened, yet abnormally strong voice for someone his age.
"As this feast is in recognition of their accomplishments, and in honor of our fallen brothers, I would like you all to welcome the members of The Order of Nightfall's Blade," he gestured toward our section of the long table.
Athaaaaar, I mentally sighed, earning me a nervous look from my companion.
Another roar of support came from the dwarves in response, but I could tell he wasn't exactly happy to see my mother sitting right beside me. "As is tradition here in Narin, those who have valiantly fought to protect our homeland are offered a boon of their choosing. Please, let us know what we can do for you," he said, immediately snapping Mom out of her slight daze.
Thoma, I'm too drunk to ask him coherently, but we need to get to the library, she sent, though even her thoughts seemed slurred. That's fine, but I think Ysevel should be the one to ask since she's more formally trained than I could ever hope to be, I said, giving her a nod of confidence. That just means I need to train you harder, she sent wryly as she stood up.
"Great Calduran, it is an honor to be standing here before you," she greeted him formally, causing him to raise his thick eyebrows in surprise. "Princess Ysevel Phrys, the honor is mine, as it's a pleasure to finally meet you in person. But what could elven royalty possibly request from this old dwarf?" he asked, giving her a slight bow in acknowledgement of her status. "Oh, come now. You don't look a day over fifty," she said lightly, making more than a few of the dwarves stare at her beauty.
Can't blame them for that, I chuckled inwardly.
"However, if it is within your power to do so, we would like to request access to the Tasglann Arsaidh," she said in flawless dwarven, causing his eyes to widen even further. A hush fell over the dwarves that forced them to hold their breath under the weight of her request, but it was Balgrim's face that set alarm bells off in my head.
His face twisted from one of surprise into one of deep contemplation before he spoke. "What knowledge could we possess that Myrdin doesn't?" he asked cautiously. "That's precisely what we're hoping to find out, Great Calduran," she replied humbly. "I see," he said, running his fingers through his thick beard momentarily and starting to pace across the platform before his throne.
We all held our breath, hoping we hadn't just offended the only person who could grant us access.
After a few tense moments, he finally halted and stomped his heavy, booted foot on the platform, and I could feel his mana permeating the ground and up through my legs to wrap around my core. "Do you understand the gravity of what you're asking?" he asked, his voice much more palpable than before.
"We do, Great Calduran," she replied without flinching or stuttering. He inhaled through his nose deeply and raised his foot to dispel the mana he'd imbued into us. "I find no lie in their words or intent, merely a deeply rooted curiosity. I will grant you access to the Tasglann Arsaidh, but only under the condition that Druid Balgrim and I accompany you," he said, allowing the rest of us to breathe normally.
"Moran taing for this historic opportunity, Great Calduran," Ysevel bowed humbly, prompting the rest of us to do the same. "Of course. It's been nearly a century since it was last opened, but I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for," he said in a much warmer tone than a moment ago. "We shall reconvene here in the morn, though tonight, I hope you will enjoy the rest of this feast," he said, raising both his arms in a gesture that caused the others to cheer.
Now that was beautifully executed, I sent her with a look of genuine pride.