Being the generous soul he is, Hagrid was more than happy to invite me to participate in the festivities. Now, normally, I'd be a bit leery of joining in, particularly since I saw that there was food on the table. Which meant I would need to be polite and eat something. Hagrid might have learned how to cast without a wand, but a cook he was not. I love the big goof, but I have limits, and Hagrid's cooking was it. Sigrid, on the other hand, knew her way around a kitchen. It probably had something to do with how she grew up. So the food, which looked to be some sort of roast, smelled and looked delicious. And that was without mentioning the savory-smelling gravy that would likely make up for the potatoes. Those evil bitter monster spuds!
A curse on all potatoes! Curse them!
Ahem! Seeing as I was not in danger of losing all my teeth or getting poisoned by the food I decided to join in. I'm not ashamed to admit that my stomach ruled me. I'm only human.
"So..." I began around a mouthful of heavenly roast. "What brings you here from the states?" I asked Isis.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, you pig!" Sigrid admonished harshly. "Don't you have any manners!"
I gave the redhead a flat look while demonstratively not swallowing my food, "Look who's talking - you tried to strangle me to death when we first met. How's that for manners?"
"'Ere we go again..." Hagrid sighed. I felt a bit bad, but I wasn't the one that was looking to throw down.
Isis just laughed. I felt better! Sigrid looked like she wanted to do something illegal to the newcomer. And not the fun kind of illegal! I stuffed another mouthful of heavenly food into my mouth.
"So! Before we were so rudely interrupted!" I shot Sigrid a smug look. "You were about to tell me why you are here."
"To learn magic, of course." She purred with a languid smile. She then put another piece of roast in her mouth and slowly pulled the fork out with a delighted hum that sent a shiver of delight up my spine.
Okay, I know when someone is fucking with me, and Isis was definitely fucking with me. Damn cat - bird - sphinx-girl! I was getting definite Selina Kyle vibes for this chick. That could be either very fun or frustrating, depending on whether or not I would be her primary target. I was hoping for not.
"Grandfather told me that you had taught an Ettin how to cast without a wand, so I decided to come to see if I could get in on that." She said shamelessly.
"By barging in uninvited," Sigrid glowered while shooting the other woman a heated glare. "You are lucky Hagrid is generous enough to invite you for dinner despite that, let alone agree to teach you." She added primly.
"Oh, no need to be jealous. I'm sure Hagrid has enough - energy - to instruct the both of us." Isis purred throatily - her voice filled to the brim with salacious innuendo.
Sigrid flushed almost as red as her hair while Hagrid merely looked a bit proud and flattered, the allusion flying clear over his head. I carefully hid my smile behind a giant glass of juice. Hagrid was so pure! This situation was leaning more towards the fun part of the equation. I'd have to make some more time to visit after this. This situation was turning out to be Hogwarts' own soap opera.
I heaped some more food onto my plate.
"How dare you!" Sigrid spluttered indignantly.
"The more the merrier, right?" Isis countered brightly, insinuation lacing her every word.
Sigrid fumed, "Have you no shame!"
"Nothing wrong with pursuing what you want." Isis purred as she shifted her attention to Hagrid for a moment, giving him a warm smile, which riled up Sigrid even more. I was coming to realize that this might come to blows if Isis didn't throttle back a bit. Which could be all kinds of fun, don't get me wrong, but it would likely ruin this delightful roast, and that would be a travesty.
I took another bite and the meat almost melted on my tongue. Divine.
As I chewed, I absently wondered if Hogwarts could use a hot spring. It shouldn't be too hard to make. I could do with an extra-large onsen episode!
Sigrid visibly restrained herself before giving the other woman a sharp smile, visibly switching gears. "I'm sure learning something like this..." She said even as she levitated a piece of meat up to her mouth and bit down viciously, "...would be much too difficult for someone of your... ancestry."
Isis's eyes narrowed slightly even if her smile didn't falter - someone hit a nerve. "My mother was a sphinx, princess. Intelligence is kinda our whole deal."
Sigrid giggled, actually giggled! I almost choked on my roast. "Oh, I'm sure she's quite the animal - I've read about them, sphinxes. They eat people don't they?"
"That's a lie!" Isis snapped angrily.
"Ohoh? Is that so?" Sigrid asked innocently, "...so they are not violent savage beasts? My mistake." She apologized insincerely before taking a sip of juice to hide her smile as Isis proceeded to carve furrows in the table with her claws. Wow, nice going Sigrid! I didn't think you could be that catty. I'm impressed.
"I'm sure they ain't that bad, Sigrid. Plenty o'things get bad things said about 'em. The trick is ta find out for yerself." Hagrid interjected a tad hesitantly. It seemed the big lug had cottoned on that something was up.
Sigrid fumed while Isis was positively exuding smugness from every pore. I didn't feel too much sympathy for the redheaded giantess. Really, what did she expect to happen? Hagrid loved anything that could possibly rend any regular person into bloody ribbons, and Isis certainly looked like she fit the bill. Was it any wonder that Hagrid came down on her side? No, it really was not.
Also, it was funny. For me! Probebly not for Sigrid. I scraped up the last of the thick gravy on my plate before I went for thirds.
I was okay with that. Sigrid needed some competition.
"By the way, I have something for you from one of my nephews - well, for that dwarf girl you mentioned to grandfather," Isis said and fished out a large envelope from her cleavage. And I'd never wanted to be a piece of postage more in my life! Gods be good - they were bigger than my entire torso! I'm a breast man, and I make no apologies!
Dwarf girl...? I swallowed down a piece of meat. Oh! "Lys?"
Isis smiled, pleased, and handed me the letter, which looked comically large in my hands. "That's the one."
"What does your nephew want with Lys?" I asked curiously. I hadn't made much noise about Lys while I'd been over in the states, so it was a tad odd for someone to send her a letter.
Isis shrugged her shoulders in a disinterested manner before reaching out and caressing one of Hagrid's arms. "None of my business, I'm here for this handsome lug."
Hagrid looked at Isis confusedly before laughing nervously. Sigrid looked fit to explode then and there, glaring at the hand like it was the Snake of Eden, here to doom humanity to walk the Earth or something like that. It made me want to crackle insanely in glee. Oh, this was so much fun! I stuffed another piece of heaven into my mouth. So, while Sigrid tried to set her new rival on fire with her eyes, I inspected the letter. I had to beat down the urge to look inside and see what it was. But it was only a passing notion and I quickly dismissed it. I wasn't one to poke into other people's business, and she would likely tell me if I asked.
"You know, Drew here was the one who taught Hargid everything he knows, I'm sure he would be a much better teacher if you want to learn quickly," Sigrid suggested slyly while shooting me a look. "I'm sure you want to return home as fast as possible."
"I just showed him how to get started. Most of his skill comes from his own efforts after the fact." I demurred humbly while pointedly ignoring Sigid grinding her teeth in frustration. Try to drag me into it, will you! No dice!
"And no doubt school don't leave you with much time for looking after little o'l me." Isis was quick to jump in the out I'd given her.
Not strictly true, schoolwork didn't really occupy much of my time these days outside of the mandatory classes, but I didn't feel the need to correct her, so I just gave her a quick smile before I refocused my attention on the envelope. What to do with this? I considered it for a moment before coming to a decision. I snapped my fingers, causing the letter to transform into a little brown finch. After a quick bit of spellwork, I whispered Lys' name and sent the little bugger off. The bird would find my diminutive friend, and once it did, it would transform back into a letter.
"That was amazing, and you did it so quickly and easily," Isis said, startling me and bringing my attention back to her. She was apparently observant enough to elevate Sigrid's blood pressure and keep an eye on me. Her amber eyes were positively sparkling with curiosity making her seem even more cat-like if that was even possible.
"A bit of transfiguration with some enchanting on top. Nothing too difficult. Your average fourth year could do it, no problem." I said dismissively. I considered the salad. I'm not big on greens, but all the other stuff had tasted fantastic...
"Could you do it, honey?" Isis asked, turning her attention back to Hagrid. Sigrid looked like she wanted to yak at the term of endearment.
Hagrid leaned back in his chair and looked up in the air while scratching at his beard thoughtfully before nodding. "Reckon I could at 'dat"
Isis clapped excitedly. "I can't wait for you to teach me that!"
"I'll be happy 'ta help." Hagrid agreed, looking pleased. I wasn't surprised. The Harry Potter books did show that he really liked to teach others. Being the Cares teacher must have been a dream come true for the guy. Not only did he get to mess around with stuff that would cheerfully eat your face, but he got to teach what he loved to others. Making bank doing what you love now that's something to envy in my book.
Hopefully, I hadn't butterflied that out of possibility with my arrival. I'd feel guilty. I looked over at the bickering trio. Then again, going by how popular Hagrid seemed to be getting with the girls he might be too busy with - other things. The little evil voice in my head suggested pointing other people (women) in Hagrid's direction and sitting back and watching the fireworks. I'd be doing him a favor, really. What guy doesn't want a horde of beautiful women fighting over you? Heh!
It does occur that I might be getting a tad overexcited about all of this. But Hagrid was sold a bad deal in canon, slated to spend his life alone. His only likely prospect was Maxine, and she had her head so far in the clouds I doubt she'd ever seen the ground. But through my action, Hagrid's situation had changed. Not only had he come into contact with people he would never have met otherwise, but by teaching him how to cast without a wand I'd also turned him into a hot commodity. He had value.
I admit, it felt good, real good, to have been able to help him a bit, to give him a little push out the door. I knew he'd make the most of it, in his bumbling goodnatured way. And if not. I had a feeling that the girls would pick up the slack.
I stuck another piece of roast into my mouth and hummed in contentment as it almost melted on my tongue. Sigrid might be a bitch, but damn if she wasn't a goddess of the kitchen. Not even the house elves cooked this good, something they would likely take offense to if I had told them. I shifted my eyes to the new arrival. I wonder what she would have to offer Hagrid. I had no doubt she would be staying around. Isis was more than clever enough to talk him into it, despite Sigrid trying to prevent it. It would be interesting to see how well she would take to learning magic.
I went for another piece of rost only to have my fork meet porcelain. I looked down and was surprised to find the plate picked clean. What magic was this? I'd just started eating. I looked over the table and was surprised to find it similarly bare of any food. How long had I been here eating? Had Sigrid drugged the roast? Did she try to roofie my buddy with delicious meat!?
Wow, that sounds so wrong, even in my head! Aah!
I need to get back to my rooms and detox! I quickly wiped my mouth with a napkin, which came away greasy, before I stood and gave my tablemates a quick smile.
"Hey, Hagrid. Thanks for the food, but I have to go, schoolwork and all that." I told the master of the house as I stood.
"Oh? Well, it was mighty nice of ya to come on by. You don't be a stranger now." Hagrid responded gregariously.
I nodded agreeably, and with a last longing look at the empty table, I hightailed it back to the school. I know I was being a bit dramatic, but what is life without a bit of silliness. Besides, I needed some time to process this new paradigm. And lie down, because I needed to nap on this meal. I smiled to myself, I had a feeling that I would be seeing more Ettins coming around to visit with our lovable groundskeeper. I was looking forward to that. It was sure to be entertaining.
I quickly made my way through the school and up the stairs. I briefly considered calling on Paddy, or flying, but decided that I needed the exercise. I might as well burn some of the calories from that monster meal. So I huffed and puffed my way to my rooms and entered only to startle to a stop when a saw someone inside I didn't recognize.
Male, young, about as tall as me, maybe an inch or so shorter, white hair slicked back. He was dressed in a way that was faintly familiar to me. I realized that it was a butler's uniform when the man turned his attention to me and shifted slightly to give me a shallow bow.
"Sir. Welcome back. I trust you had a good time with Mr. Rubeus.
"Paddy?" I asked incredulously.